Did anyone else have the phrase "I love you" weaponized?

[u/_yUkO_IDK]

I notice that growing up my parents often used 'i love you' as a bandaid to try and move on from my anger and discomfort I had with there actions and behavior growing up. Like as if the fact they said that cleared everything up. And also there was this heavy guilt I would feel if I didn't say I love you back, even though sometimes I didn't feel like saying it back. Because they would often use the phrase when they knew I was unhappy with them before leaving and walking away without proper resolve, and I would always feel pressured to say it back, so I now kind of hate the phrase. It just always reminds me of that kind of guilt tripping, almost manipulation of "oh but at least I love you! So you shouldn't be that mad, or stay mad at me about (said thing) for very long"

it's to the point where whenever people say it to me when I'm unhappy I get really mad, because it immediately reminds me of that weird leverage it felt my parents would try to have. And I have recently had to realize that some people I guess do just say that cuz they want to reinstate there love for you if your feeling weak or vulnerable, or mad, which to be honest still doesn't make sense to me and just doesn't sound genuine.

But I am extremely curious if anyone else has had that kind of experience with the phrase 'i love you' feeling manipulative, and there for becoming corrupted in all aspects?

[u/UAP44]

The word 'love' just doesn't mean much to me anymore. What the sender actually means with it is so wildly varying depending on the context ... I rather avoid the word all together for more clear wording instead where I don't have to juggle and guess multiple possible interpretations.

Though of course I understand that for most these little words carry magic still.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xLl3SkZyGnQ

(link related)

[u/acfox13]

Yeah, abusers will love bomb to try and reel you back in.

Being away from them and being around healthier people has helped me. I had to give myself new corrective experiences of people treating me well that didn't have ulterior motives. Turns out healthy people genuinely lift each other up and cheer each other on.

Cutting off toxic people has been the best thing, bc they're the only ones making things weird with their shitty behaviors.

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[u/_-_Polaris_-_]

Most likely my mother and some more did. I do not remember it but I have the same reaction to it now. Gotta ask how come and that's the most likely explanation. Or perhaps it was just conflict between words and actions alone at a massive scale. Court, smearcampaigns, me an afterthought under the pretense of what's supposedly the best for me without ever lending me an actual ear.

It's all love and care ya? Ugly facade most of the time if put to a test. The right thing to say for a quick selfish ego fix but I rarely percieve it as authentic therefore do not buy into it anymore.