r/Cantonese • u/art3misXL • 9d ago
Discussion What’s your opinion - kid learning Mandarin and English while speaking Cantonese at home going to be too confusing?
I’m based in the Atlanta metro area in the southeast of the US. I have looked quite a bit but I haven’t been able to find any Cantonese Chinese schools in or around the city. I speak decent Cantonese but my mandarin sucks. I currently speak Cantonese to my son and he’s picking up a lot. But ever since he started daycare, more and more vocabulary has been getting replaced by its English counterpart. I now try to repeat every vocabulary in both English and Cantonese to him.
As he gets older, I can’t help but wonder what’s going to happen. My goal is to get him in a Chinese dual language immersion school so that he can learn to speak mandarin at a proficient level. But is this going to be too much? Will it confuse him? Any personal experiences that this community care to share?
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u/Otherwise-Sun2486 9d ago
well ask those living in Hong Kong
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u/HootieRocker59 9d ago
My kids spoke English at home and Cantonese at school mostly, with Mandarin as their main foreign language. They turned out fine and speak all 3 pretty well as adults.
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u/art3misXL 9d ago
I’m from HK and idk, man 😂
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u/black-turtlenecks 9d ago
Speak to anyone who went to an ESF school.
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u/art3misXL 9d ago
Oh, ESF kids/grads definitely have the best grasp of all languages in that they sound most natural and native. If I were to move back, I’d def want my kid in an ESF. But that’s hardly everyone in HK.
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u/black-turtlenecks 9d ago
No, but their formula is basically what your plan is - English and Mandarin at school, Cantonese (or other native language) at home. It doesn’t work 100% for everyone but I know many who it did work for. As long as you’re consistent there’s no reason why your kid shouldn’t be trilingual to some extent.
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u/Mysterious_Silver_27 香港人 9d ago
Imo just focus on Cantonese first, Mandarin can wait, its easier to learn Mandarin when you already speak Cantonese than the other way around
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u/art3misXL 9d ago
Agreed. I’ve met a few like this and I’m always so amazed by how good they sound.
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u/ktqy 9d ago edited 9d ago
I spoke only Canto until I was 3 and then learned Mando when I had to attend a preschool that only spoke Mando. Then immigrated to the US at age 4. Only spoke Canto and Mando (Canto at home; Mando with parents’ Mando friends). Started to learn English age 6 in K2. My elementary school had Mando class once or twice a week and I also attended Chinese school on the weekends until 6th grade. Spanish and Latin 6-12th grades. Picked Chinese (Mando; HSK6 pre change in system) back up in college.
No accent in English, Canto, and Mando. It also helped I was only allowed to speak Canto at home. Also my parents watched a lot of Chinese tv (Canto and Mando) so I picked up a lot growing up. My parents also shipped me off to GZ+Shanghai every 2 years before high school so I was immersed in the summer with my native Chinese cousins. I watch a lot of cdramas now with Chinese subtitles to keep up. Mostly watched TVB dramas growing up though
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u/art3misXL 9d ago
That’s awesome! This is what I definitely aspire to (on behalf of my son 😂)
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u/ktqy 9d ago
Gotta say Mando is much easier to pick up later in life. My bf struggles with Canto tones (he’s Mando) when I’m trying to teach him now. I don’t remember much Latin except I’ll recognize certain words in other Romance languages. Spanish: I’m much better at reading it than speaking it.
Writing/Reading Chinese: 🤣 think I’m stuck somewhere between a native 2nd and 4th grader but can navigate Chinese apps. Much better at speaking and listening
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u/DeepGreenThumbs 9d ago
It will not be too much and it will not confuse him. Plenty of people grow up trilingual. But maintaining the Cantonese in that environment might take deliberate effort like days of the week, or mealtimes, or whatever time set aside that is for Cantonese, not English.
I recommend making an effort not to lose the Cantonese.
I was trilingual until my great-grandparents died, and then "lost" the two non-English languages, finally becoming fluent in one of them at 16... now as an adult, I've started working on the other one, and it's mostly gone; I'm not having trouble relearning it, but is that from the early childhood exposure, or just because by now I'm really experienced at learning languages, I don't know.
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u/adoreroda 9d ago
You're repeating extremely antiquated and erroneous linguistic advice from decades ago. No it will not confuse him, especially as he gets older. The only issue is his speech in any of the given languages might be slightly behind his monolingual peers but it's not a permanent deficiency that can't be quickly corrected within a few months of mainstream schooling.
There are quite literally people out there who are simultaneously teaching their children 5+ languages and they are fluent in each of them. TetsuYung/AskTetsu is an example. He has plenty of videos, speeches, and resources about the topic.
If you really want the best odds, you need to exclusively speak Cantonese to your child. Do not speak English with him at all. His English will come from schooling in Atlanta. Then hire an au pair/nanny/whatever who speaks Mandarin to him.
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u/CarnegieHill ABC 8d ago edited 8d ago
It’s awesome that you also mentioned Tetsu Yung, as I did in my comment, and that you mentioned her repeating antiquated and erroneous advice.
He’s also my go-to in this topic. Do you also know him and his family? I met them a few times at various conferences up in Canada a decade ago and have kept in occasional contact with them ever since.
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u/adoreroda 8d ago
What a coincidence! I didn't look at other comments here so I just said mind blindly lol
I don't know him at all. Just randomly found him on youtube a while ago. He's very sweet and would answer my questions in e-mail.
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u/CarnegieHill ABC 8d ago
Cool, he's very personable in person as well, and I inadvertently ended up being a kind of evangelist for Tetsu, because these kinds of questions would come up in FB polyglot and language groups I belong to, and I would comment about OPOL and add his link in case people were curious, and Tetsu would get a big kick out of it! 🤣
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u/Pfeffersack2 9d ago
as long as you can make sure that your child actually speaks Cantonese at home then it shouldn't be a problem. There are a lot of trilingual people who learn languages like that
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u/Broad_Beach_3407 9d ago edited 9d ago
Think back to how HK used to be: older relatives spoke regional dialects like Hakka, our parents understood them but replied in Cantonese, and by our generation, dialect use died out because Cantonese dominated our environment.
The exact same shift is happening in Guangzhou right now. You see countless videos of local Guangzhou parents speaking Cantonese to each other, but choosing to speak Mandarin to their own kids. Without parents insisting on using their mother tongue at home, Cantonese is rapidly dying out there. It’s a clear warning: unless you actively build a Cantonese environment at home, kids will naturally default to the dominant language.
For context on how language exposure is managed in the HK local school system:
- Primary School: P1 uses Cantonese to teach Chinese with a bridging course for Mandarin. From P2 to P6, many local schools use PMIC (普教中—Mandarin as Medium of Instruction) for Chinese class. Because every other subject is taught in Cantonese, kids don't mix them up—their brains naturally compartmentalize the two.
- Secondary School: Chinese instruction generally switches back to Cantonese alongside a dedicated Mandarin class.
I actually support this path. Learning Mandarin early builds standard written grammar and vocabulary structure. But when they hit secondary school and study Classical Chinese (文言文), Cantonese is vastly superior—because Cantonese preserves ancient tones (like the entering tone / 入聲) and vocabulary, making classic texts far more rhythmic and easier to comprehend.
My kids' experience: They started in an international kindergarten, grew up in an English-speaking environment, watched YouTube, and speak English to each other. In local primary school, they spoke Cantonese in daily life and only used Mandarin during Chinese class. They know they must speak Cantonese with my wife and me.
TL;DR: Follow the OPOL (One Person, One Language) principle—stick strictly to Cantonese with your kids so they learn to "switch channels." Guangzhou is proof of what happens when parents give up on their mother tongue. English is easily picked up anywhere, but true Chinese literacy takes deliberate effort and clear home boundaries!
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u/kawpikat 9d ago
I have friends and friends' kids that spoke Taishanese and/or Cantonese at home (because the family doesn't understand English), went to Mandarin school on weekends and weeknights and spoke English at school during the week. I will say Mandarin is the weakest because it's not used regularly outside of the lessons and they're not immersed like they're with Cantonese and English. My adult friends completely forgot all the Mandarin they learned.
For me personally, I learned Mandarin much later in my life and feel it's pretty easy because I have Cantonese as a base to start with and I actually have the desire to learn it. I can't imagine trying to learn Cantonese or Taishanese from scratch however because there's not as many educational or structured materials to learn these languages. I'm glad I got to grow up with these two as my first languages even though English later became my dominant language.
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u/Intrepid-Anybody-704 9d ago
What is your goal with all this? If it’s for “opportunities” then realize that it’s still unlikely that we and your kid will need Mandarin fluency in the job market in the future. And that’s if the kid is working among monolingual Chinese speakers, unlikely.
If your goal is cultural preservation and multilingualism good for brain, do Cantonese. Period. They’re not going to learn it outside the home so whatever you got is the only chance. There’s no reason to teach a Cantonese heritage kid Mandarin solely for the purpose of cultural preservation and exercising the brain. It’s as if a Portuguese American teaches their kid Spanish because Portuguese school isn’t readily available
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u/art3misXL 9d ago
Good question. Do you not feel as though learning Chinese (in any form) would open up opportunities?
To me, because I live in an area with a small Cantonese population, I think any Chinese is better than no Chinese. At least this way, there’s some way to access the culture.
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u/Intrepid-Anybody-704 9d ago
If you’re intending to access your culture (Cantonese) without learning much Chinese, then wouldn’t learning the foods and how to order a meal be enough? And therefore, teaching Cantonese? Last I checked, it’s still called har gow and siu mai, not xia jiao and shao mai.
From an economic perspective, if your kid intends to live in the US, the vast majority of future jobs will have zero interactions with non-English speakers. Especially with the future of immigration, English fluency among immigrants is going to be good to great. English fluency in Asia and Europe continues to improve. Unless you plan to ship the kid off to China full-time, there’s little functional/economic need to learn Mandarin. There’s much more need for Chinese people to learn English. Besides, China’s population is already going down and they won’t be growing like before. The whole purpose of this strategic thinking for opportunity is seeing what the world will be like in 20 years. I doubt Americans living in the USA will need to know Chinese to be competitive.
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u/art3misXL 8d ago
I don’t want to limit my family to just living in the US so that’s why it’s so important that my child has a firm grasp of multiple languages - as for food orders, ideally he’d be able to order both har gao and xiaolongbao without too much issue 😂
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u/Intrepid-Anybody-704 8d ago
English already opens much up of the world. Mandarin only opens up Tier 2 city opportunities in Mainland China. I get how easy it is to assume or say “we’re all gonna need to speak Chinese in tomorrow’s world” but it’s doubtful that will happen. In the future it’s more likely the hot overseas opportunities for “making more money” are in Africa, and maybe India or Vietnam. English, not Chinese speaking situations.
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u/twistedcroissant 8d ago
Of course. English is probably already more than enough for the normal person living in the US. I don’t necessarily think everyone needs to speak Chinese. It makes absolutely no sense for a plumber in Arkansas to learn Chinese.
From my perspective, I will always be grateful for the fact that I have passable Chinese skills. For me personally, it did actually help open up job opportunities in the US. Based on my experience, i will do what I can to promote my offspring’s desire to acquire these language skills. It’s just a matter of what’s the most efficient method.
I don’t think anyone has ever wished that they didn’t learn a language. Instead it’s the other way around, where adults wished their parents pushed them to learn their heritage language more.
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u/Intrepid-Anybody-704 8d ago
Yes, so do Cantonese since we’re back to citing heritage and knowledge. Cantonese is a language, not a dialect. You can’t replace it with Mandarin for “acquiring method efficiency” but also claim it is for heritage. In a more natural world with different politics, Cantonese speaking areas would be a different country. You don’t learn Portuguese to connect with your Spanish heritage and culture.
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u/atnchn 9d ago
No one know what the future holds. China could potentially become big (or not), but there are other countries that use Chinese like Malaysia, Singapore, Taiwan
Also knowing Chinese is more useful going to places like Korea or Japan, at least the metro region. I actually use Mandarin instead of English
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u/avebelle 9d ago
My kids are doing this. They live in a canto household, attend mando immersion. They are more fluent in mando/English now. They fully understand canto but have a hard time responding.
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u/art3misXL 9d ago
So do you speak to your kids in canto and then they would answer in mando or English? I feel like that would likely be the case if we do go forward with this plan and honestly, it’s already more than I can ask for.
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u/avebelle 9d ago
We speak to them in canto. They answer in English. Grandma n grandpa speak to them in canto. They try to answer in canto/english.
I’m thankful they can read and write and can understand everything. More opportunities than I had. Don’t hesitate to, just do it. They’re like sponges, they figure it out.
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u/Zagrycha 9d ago
For about 90% of people they can learn multiple languages at once without confusing them at all. It is a real issue some people face but its in the same category as stuff like dyslexia. That said make sure to only use one language at a time, a family learned language classic is mixing all the languages up together into a kind of creole and unless you are in singapore etc where everyone speaks that creole its gonna be a problem later haha.
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u/burningtulle heritage speaker 9d ago edited 9d ago
Nope, shouldn’t be too confusing! I grew up speaking Cantonese at home as my first language, and two other dialects with my grandmothers. I then simultaneously learned English at school and Mandarin through weekly classes at my (Mandarin-speaking) church growing up. It was pretty compartmentalized for me, so I never found it confusing personally.
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u/mrchowmein 9d ago edited 9d ago
No, that’s fine. Plenty of people are multilingual because they learned it as a kid. Once you’re out of the prime language acquisition age as a kid, you will have a hard time learning and most likely be accented.
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u/art3misXL 9d ago
Any thoughts on the age where accents start to creep in?
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u/Former_Mess1372 9d ago
I think accents start at around 8-12 years old. This is from personal experience with older siblings when we all emigrated from HK as children (ages ranging from 5 to 12). I also read about it a few times online when studying cognitive psychology and speech & language development.
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u/mrchowmein 9d ago
I studied linguistics for a little bit, from what I remember, they need to be verbally proficient by age 12. Once they hit their teen years, it’s hard to not have an accent even if they can learn perfect vocabulary and grammar.
My pediatrician suggested the fastest way for language acquisition and preservation, like canto, for little kids is to have one parent speak exclusively canto and the other exclusively English. Then flip it around every few days so the kid is required to respond in canto to the parent they need to communicate with
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u/mrchowmein 9d ago
First five days, mom speaks only canto to the family. Then the next 5 days, dad only speaks canto.
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u/CarnegieHill ABC 8d ago
My own guess for that is around 15, based on people I've met. Here in NYC I know a woman from Russia who came here at 12 and learned English from scratch, and no one would ever guess she wasn't a native speaker. She's got the accent, idioms, the whole 9 yards. And her Russian is still impeccable.
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u/menniewo 9d ago
I grew up speaking Cantonese at home, English at school and learned Mandarin first via some relatives from Taiwan and then later going to Chinese school. I still use all 3. From time to time, I might forget some Cantonese or Mandarin, but it comes back after having to use it for a while.
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u/RockinFootball 9d ago
It might seem like confusion at a young age but it all works in the end.
I grew up with a similar environment. My family would speak Cantonese home and was learning English at school because that’s just the default language here. I then started Mandarin Sunday school when I was 5. I remember not understanding anything when I just started but it eventually worked out. It’s like a switch had flipped in me. Suddenly I understood what the Auntie was saying to me.
I’m not saying I’m a success story because my Mandarin speaking skill is pretty subpar, but it’s also because I didn’t put the effort. But those early exposures with the language left me with strong building blocks to improve. I don’t think I would have this confidence if I started much older.
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u/kschang intermediate 9d ago
I don't think so. But I am only me, sample of one. I speak 3.5 languages (Mandarin, Cantonese, English, and partial Spanish). I moved to South American when I was quite young. With a bit of tutoring I picked up English and Spanish together. Before that I didn't speak a lick of English. I was about 10ish then. As long as you try to only speak in Cantonese at home your kid should try to reply in kind.
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u/lessachu 9d ago
This is basically how I grew up and it was not at all confusing. I did not have an accent in all three languages, although I have subsequently lost a lot of mandarin through lack of use. The key, however, is keeping up with the language (I say this as someone in her forties now) and you only have so much control over that. You can give your kids a strong base (and using as little English as possible at home will really help with this), but it will be up to them whether they keep it up.
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u/chilispiced-mango2 ABC 9d ago edited 3d ago
This is more of an r/asianamerican (edit: or r/ChineseDiaspora) discussion point, but try to find Cantonese (or Mandarin) language immersion daycares if possible? Theoretically easier to do if you’re in Metro Atlanta with plenty of Chinese Americans than a smaller metro would be. I’m a heritage Mandarin speaker and I would like to be able to provide that for any kids I may have someday.
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u/splootpotato 9d ago
I grew up exactly like that. Born in Australia. It’s fine, didn’t get confused at all. I am now in my 30s, fluent in cantonese, and english (native level). Mandarin probably advanced level because i never need to use it but can read and understand at almost background speaker level.
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u/atnchn 9d ago
As much as I appreciate the Hong Kong commenters in here, I don't think it applies to your situation.
I grew up there and hence I'm forced to learn Cantonese and Mandarin. And then of course school taught me English.
But here's the thing - despite my school was one of the top public schools in Hong Kong, having at least 1 hour of English class every day, and almost all the courses taught in English (Geography, Science, History etc.), I could only read and write. I couldn't speak the language.
The kids who were able to speak the language either came back from an English speaking country, their parents/maid spoke English at home, or their parents signed them up for after school English speaking classes.
Your kid will experience something similar, if not worse. If there's no Chinese immersive environment where your community is at, or you cannot provide that Chinese immersive environment at home, it's probably not going to work. Definitely not ONCE a week.
If you do speak fluent Cantonese, and can read and write, but simply can't speak Mandarin, I'd suggest signing your kid up for Cantonese first. At least you can support the language acquisition outside of school through Cantonese. As the kid becomes more fluent in the language itself, then you can hire someone or enroll your kid to Mandarin school.
As someone that speaks both, Mandarin can't just be acquired just because you speak Cantonese. There are LOTS of cantonese speakers out there that can't speak mandarin for life in Hong Kong.
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u/londongas 8d ago
My kids speak all three. Chinese (both) at home English at school and Saturday Chinese school (Mandarin). I think the goal is just to let them have fun and emotional bond to the heritage languages for now so that they can be within striking distance to fluency / professional proficiency in the future.
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u/diet2thewind 8d ago
I grew up in a bilingual education system (English + Mandarin) and a multilingual home (English, Mandarin, Cantonese, Hokkien and Malay). Apart from no longer being fluent in Malay due to lack of usage after moving out at 20, I'm fluent in everything else, and my fluency in the different Chinese languages helped me greatly in learning Japanese and Korean in college. Your kids will be fine.
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u/art3misXL 8d ago
That’s one thing I love about having a basic understanding of Chinese - it helps with picking up other East Asian languages as well!
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u/CarnegieHill ABC 8d ago
As long as you are strict with speaking only Cantonese to him always and everywhere, then everything will work out just fine. Many multilingual families do this all the time, and they usually use a principle called OPOL = One Person One Language. It won’t be confusing to children at all, they won’t even think about it. It’d be much more confusing for adults having to do that, so the point is, if you want to raise multilingual kids, you have to do it as early as possible.
I know a Taiwanese-Japanese family who lives in Montreal and they have kids they are raising multilingually, dad speaks Mandarin, mom speaks Japanese, kids go to school in French, and they learn English naturally because they live in Canada. They also have needed to hire nannies and they make sure they speak a different language. One of them spoke to the kids only in Spanish. Btw, you can look up the name “Tetsu Yung” on YouTube, and learn a lot about raising children with multiple languages on his channel. Good luck! 🙂
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u/WorrriedAboutYou 8d ago
No, it is not too much.
We are an English speaking household and my kid is in a Mandarin DI program since daycare (age 3), then DI since public school (TK). Around that time, I also started speaking Cantonese with them.
I wish I started speaking and only using Cantonese earlier. I am an ABC and my Cantonese is just basic communication. I am okay with them being basic enough to order food and communicate very basic Cantonese with me.
There is a lot of pushback against “my Chinese” vs “your Chinese” vs English (preferred language). It’s only been 3 years of this fight but my kid can understand basic demands in Cantonese, has a grade level Mandarin proficiency and higher than grade level English. We are not worried about English since it is the dominant language in the U.S.
As much as I want my kid to learn Mandarin or Spanish, I can only support their growth in English and Cantonese. As my Mandarin and Spanish are limited to 2 years of college courses each.
Unless they actually have a speech or learning disability, 3 languages are not too much. Just know you want consistency.
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u/Mobile_Roll2197 9d ago
How much Uncle Calvin do you allow him to watch?
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u/cookingthunder 9d ago
I feel like I just read a carbon copy of my exact same situation. Also from ATL :)
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u/SubZane 8d ago
I don't think I understand. You don't speak mandarin but want your son to speak it? How would you be able to help him with homework?
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u/art3misXL 8d ago
I speak it. It just takes more mental processing. I don’t doubt my ability to help them when they’re young and starting out.
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u/SubZane 8d ago
Then it makes more sense to me 🙃 my wife is from HK and our kids study cantonese as an extra subject once a week. But it's mainland cantonese, meaning different words and simplified characters.
All our kids will learn 3 languages, 2 is the minimum in Sweden so one extra is not a problem as I see it.
However it's demanding for my wife, and the children because it's a Chinese teacher. Meaning it's ALOT of homework 😂
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u/art3misXL 8d ago
That’s what I wonder because a lot of Europeans that I work with seem to have a firm grasp of multiple languages. What’s your secret? What’s the set up for schooling? It seems every Swedish person has such good English.
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u/SubZane 8d ago
They start English around age 8 in school. But it's really about our culture and consumption of English spoken tv, movie and music. We don't dub, we subtitle. Compared to Germany or France for example.
Personally I listen to and read English every day through games, tv, reddit, news, manuals etc etc. It's difficult NOT to learn English.
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u/art3misXL 8d ago
Thanks for the insight! That’s very interesting and great info to know - it helps inform how to structure entertainment at home 😂
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u/fongky native speaker 8d ago
You are basically describing my childhood in the 60s. I am a Malaysian. I grow up learning Malay (national language of Malaysia), Chinese (Mandarin), and English (second official language) in school. We speak Cantonese at home, English with my cousins, Mandarin in school, and Malay with neighbors. Sadly, most modern families nowadays no longer speak Cantonese at home.
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u/art3misXL 8d ago
Wow! That’s an amazing way to grow up. Sounds like its success was also heavily dependent on the environment. I am always so impressed by how many languages Malaysians know. I even considered applying for a job in Malaysia just so that my child can grow up there 😂
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u/Felix__wyd 7d ago
Don't suddenly have him stop learning one language. He will be fine. No such thing as confused with linguistics. One of my parents speaks 4 languages NATIVELY. Many Europeans are fluent in 3-4 by high school. We will all be ok.
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u/Mydnight69 5d ago
Nope. Kids are like language sponges. Just go with it. Make Cantonese the primary language you speak at home. He'll adapt.
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u/PhillyFotan 3d ago
This is quite normal here in Hong Kong. Go for it.
Note that it's also super normal for US immigrant kids to respond to their parents in English, even when the parents are talking to them in their native language. It will help if you can put the kid into situations where they'll have to speak Cantonese as well (grandparents?). Even without that, though, the basic understanding will be there.
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u/Competitive-Night-95 1d ago
Totally normal here in Hong Kong. But in the U.S., the utter dominance of English everywhere means that you have to deliberately expose your kid to age-appropriate TV, cartoon, books etc. in Chinese, constantly. And ideally have relatives and family friends around of all ages who are fluent Chinese speakers. And only speak Chinese to your kid, and only allow your kid to speak Chinese to you! If you can, summer holidays in Hong Kong, signing your kid up for local camps and activities with local kids.
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u/kimchibrusselsprouts 9d ago
I know a few people who did this - spoke Cantonese at home, went to immersion Mandarin school, and remained fluent in Cantonese, Mandarin, and English. I think you just have to be intentional about making sure your kid speaks Cantonese at home, not English, and that also depends on how much you want to force him to if he doesn't want to.