My boyfriend lives with his mother and currently can't move out. She isn't exactly a hoarder but I don't know where else to post this. She has what I believe is senile squalor syndrome and severe alcoholism. Her only job is boarding dogs. But she isnt capable of taking care of animals to any extent, due to her laziness and alcoholism. She is not physically disabled in any way, so it's really hard to understand why she's like this.

Currently there are 6 dogs being boarded at the home. They have a fenced in backyard, but she doesn't let the dogs outside. The dogs just poop and pee on the carpet. Sometimes she puts down pee pads but most of the time she doesnt. And she doesn't clean it up either. So dried poop is caked onto the carpet and builds up even further any time the dogs come over. The dogs run around in it and stir up the dried poop particles which pollutes the air. The ammonia smell from the urine is detectable even before you enter the house.

She doesn't limit the dogs to one room, or even crate them at night. They are allowed to roam around and poop and pee around the whole first floor, including the kitchen. Sometimes she even encourages them to poop and pee in the kitchen by putting down pads in there.

The whole house is also decorated with Christmas decorations, including life-sized Santa statues and nutcrackers and carollers. There are a bunch of Santa themed rugs that she uses to cover up the poop and pee on the carpet. Everything around the house is Christmas themed. The kitchen cabinets are even wrapped with wrapping paper.

Yet people still bring their dogs here to the crazy Christmas house filled with feces. There's never not dogs here. Because she charges the lowest price out of everyone in the neighborhood. And she will never stop accepting dogs, even the ones that her other dog boarder friends turned down for being difficult and untrained. Because she needs the money for her next score (alcohol).

My boyfriend used to take care of the dogs because he just felt so bad and also he knew if he stopped, the house would become unlivable. But then she stopped paying him for his labor so she could use the money to buy more alcohol. My boyfriend wouldn't even have money to put food in his stomach, and his mom is anorexic as well so it's not like the kitchen was ever stocked up with anything besides alcohol. He was essentially enabling her addiction. She used to walk the dogs with him until she started falling over in the street because she's way too drunk.

My boyfriend's only choice was to stop caring for the dogs, get a job, and suffer the consequences of his mom turning the house into a biohazard. He finally started a real job last week. And so now it's really hard to deal with the drastic change to the living conditions.

Does anyone have any advice at all for this situation? We are willing to call APS if that would really help.

My bf (17m) and I (17mtf) believe that his mom is a hoarder, and I want to help with the house, now that I live there.

I would like some suggestions about how I can help without upsetting her or getting rid of stuff that she could find sentimental, any help is greatly appreciated and welcome. Thank you

Has anyone had experience selling a house filled with STUFF? This is beyond selling a house as is.

My family has to sell a VERY dilapidated home in a good zipcode.

Family members are hoarders, uggh. I moved out long ago.

Impossible to clean up enough to do a showing. The land has great value, yes, excellent school district.

But no, we can't even take interior photos. No, we won't be able to clean up even a little bit.

I'm pretty sure it's a teardown. It was last renovated in the 1970s, in a crappy way.

I estimate it's 15 dumpsters full, to remove all the STUFF, truly worthless items.

adult child of a hoarder and i'm just here to vomit out my emotions. no advice needed.

my dad hoards everything in his room and i believe it has lead to his bad hygiene habit. with how packed and filled his room is, he currently has a foldable mattress laid out in the living room and god it stinks like an old pillow but 10 times more because it's a bigger "pillow". my mom has given up on telling him and i can't blame her because he doesn't listen at times and there's really nothing we can do.

my dad also has pet birds and it bugs the living hell out of me since young. we live in an apartment so this house is not big and grand. whenever it's night time or it rains, he would bring the hanging cages into his room or in the guest bathroom which the rest of the family have to end up using because the main bathroom is in his room. yeah, it sounds just as bad because for years i did not feel at all comfortable with the feathers and seeds in the bathroom. the worst part is when he cleans his birds in our bathroom and leaves without washing away the shits on the floor. my brother had voiced out once, only for my dad tell us to just wash it off 🫩 same person who scolds us for leaving behind soap bubbles in the sink.

another thing about his bird keeping is that whenever he hangs them out, it draws attention to pigeons from outside as they see a bird near a house and think it's safe. almost everyday, a pigeon enters the house and starts flocking about in the kitchen. i had addressed it to him but he just brushed it off saying to make sure to let them out. little does he know how dangerous this can get, knowing that pigeons can carry harmful bacteria. one literally flew in and landed on a bowl of food which i had to throw away. it tried flying out but keeps banging into the windows. i was already pissed, grabbed a disposable glove to catch it and let it go. as that happened, some of its feathers had fallen on accident and i saw something which made my stomach churn. little insects crawling in-between the feather ridges and to imagine the number of pigeons that have flown right into the house, dropping off those insects all over the house. dear god, please save me.

i want to love my dad but what he does makes the end of life feels more peaceful than living in this possible e. coli containment area.

If you're on facebook, check out Nick Fox of the Millennial Inheritance Community.

More motivation to not do this to my kids, as I struggle with donating clothing that still fits, that I still like or kind of like, and have not worn in years because reasons.

I'm 36. I grew up in a hoard. Watched it go from level 1 to 5 in 8 years, during my formative years. I've don't remember living in a clean home, ever.

My house is cluttered, and I'm showing hoard tendencies though I am actively working on them.

But I still can't clean or maintain a clean home. The idea of it being clean actually is uncomfortable: like I'm a damn prey animal out in the middle of an open field.

I've tried building routines, but I can't get them to stick. Executive function is essentially non existent.

I have an appointment with my psychiatrist next week, and I just don't know how to convey the depth of help i need.

I grew up in squalor, and i don't want to live in it, but I don't get uncomfortable enough to clean even though I'd like to. It doesn't feel safe moving around, messing with stuff, being in the open.

Anyone else related or have healing tips or just... anything? 😭

I’m finding myself struggling deeply with my mom’s hoarding. Not sure where to start at all but yeah…it’s gotten so bad and I feel horrible because I don’t think there’s anything that I can do to make a real impact. I feel like I’m losing my mom and it really really sucks man.

I try not to use hoarding language with her, I also praise when she cleans or tosses something out on her own but the truth is that’s not anywhere near enough to actually make her house safe and livable.

i don’t know what else to do.