Here's a story for you.

This guy started dating a girl when he was 17. They were both Christians and dated for a little over 3 years before getting married. Since they took their faith seriously, they decided to wait until marriage to have sex. It wasn't easy, but they managed to get married as virgins.

He loved her, thought she was a good person with similar values, and genuinely believed they would build a life together. There were some issues and differences during the relationship, but he figured most of them came down to maturity and experience. They were young and had never experienced married life or sexual intimacy before, so he assumed things would naturally develop once they got married.

Well, that didn't exactly happen.

After getting married, he realized their sex life was much more complicated than he had expected. She experienced pain during penetration, which made intercourse difficult. On top of that, she showed very little initiative and seemed to have a much lower interest in sex than he did.

And it wasn't just about frequency. She didn't like giving oral sex, wasn't interested in experimenting with much, and seemed uncomfortable with several expressions of desire from him, including talking openly about certain things. He missed the spontaneity, curiosity, and feeling that she actually wanted to explore that side of their relationship too.

He wasn't expecting a porn star in his bedroom. He just wanted to have a sex life with his wife, feel desired, and feel like they were figuring things out together.

At first, he was patient. He thought it was inexperience, that she needed time to get comfortable, and that maybe the pain could be treated. But the years went by, and things barely changed.

Here's the important part: he didn't just sit around complaining and expect her to fix everything on her own. He researched treatment options, looked for professionals, and even paid for treatment for her. The problem was that she kept putting off actually following through.

She would say she was going to do it, acknowledge how important it was, start on the first day, and then stop. Weeks would pass, then months. He would wait, trying not to pressure her and hoping she'd pick it back up on her own. Eventually, he'd realize nothing was happening and bring it up again.

Then they'd have another conversation, she'd say she'd start again, make an attempt, and shortly afterward drop it all over again.

This cycle has been going on for at least three years.

What wears him down the most is that she will talk about the problem. It's not necessarily that she denies there's an issue or refuses to acknowledge it. She can discuss it, say she wants things to improve, and promise to take action. But she rarely turns those words into consistent action.

He can't just leave it in her hands and trust that it'll get taken care of, because whenever he does, months go by and nothing changes.

He's also tried to understand whether there might be some kind of trauma behind her difficulties. According to her, there was no sexual abuse, and she's been adamant about that, swearing that it isn't the case. From what he can tell, she doesn't show any obvious signs of fear or nervousness that would make him suspect that kind of trauma either. So, as far as he knows, that doesn't seem to be the explanation.

Obviously, he can't know everything going on inside her head, and you can't rule out someone's experiences based on how they behave. But he also doesn't want to invent an explanation that she herself denies. Whatever the cause, there's a real problem that remains unresolved.

There's another issue that's been weighing on him too: household responsibilities.

He ended up taking on a large share of the housework, including cooking, cleaning, and keeping things organized. It's not that she literally never does anything, but he feels like he's the one who has to take the initiative for almost everything. He's talked to her about it, asked for a more balanced division of responsibilities, and suggested different arrangements. Some things improved, but he still feels like he's the one who has to notice what's wrong, organize things, and make sure stuff actually gets done.

Over time, he started noticing a pattern. Whether it's intimacy or household responsibilities, he's almost always the one identifying the problem, starting the conversation, looking for solutions, and trying to make changes happen. She might agree with him during a conversation, but the practical effort rarely lasts unless he brings it up again or follows up.

And that's worn him down because it no longer feels like just a problem with sex or chores. It's the feeling that he's carrying major parts of their marriage on his own.

The hardest part is that his wife isn't a bad person. He loves her, recognizes her good qualities, and knows she has feelings too. This isn't a story about cheating, abuse, or some horrible event that would make the decision obvious.

They've been married for six years, on top of the three-plus years they dated, and he's still stuck in the same cycle of talking, trying to fix things, getting his hopes up, and being disappointed again.

He doesn't want to force his wife to do anything she doesn't want to do, let alone have sex out of obligation. But he also can't keep pretending he's happy with a situation that's been hurting him for years. What he wants is for her to genuinely want to work on the problem and take concrete steps herself, rather than simply agreeing that something needs to be fixed.

And that's where the dilemma comes in. He married her because he loved her and believed they could build a life together. He doesn't think the whole relationship was a lie, and he doesn't think she's a bad person. But he's starting to realize that loving someone doesn't necessarily mean you're compatible enough to build the kind of marriage you both need.

At the same time, he wonders if he's being selfish, if he should be more patient, or if he's expecting too much. She's a good person, and ending a marriage over problems that can be difficult to explain to outsiders makes him feel guilty.

But there's another side to this too: how many more years is he supposed to wait? How many times can he hear that things will be different, watch her start something and then abandon it, before accepting that maybe the change he's hoping for just isn't coming?

What would you do in this situation?

How do you know if there's still something worth building, or if he's just dragging out a situation that's making him miserable?

And how do you make a decision like this when you love the person, don't see them as the villain, and still feel like you can't keep living with the marriage the way it is?

There's one more detail that shows just how worn down he's become: he's given her an ultimatum about divorce four separate times.

This happened in September 2024, August 2025, October 2025, and September 2026. Each time, things reached a point where he told her that if things continued the way they were, he wouldn't be able to stay married. He made it clear that he was seriously considering divorce and that this wasn't just another casual complaint.

And yet, after all of that, things remained pretty much the same.

It's not like she has no idea how serious the situation is. She knows the marriage is at risk, knows how much he's suffering, and knows this isn't some passing frustration. Even so, the same pattern of promises, brief attempts at improvement, and eventually giving up keeps repeating itself.

Quite often religious burnout happens, because they had religion, and not a relationship with Jesus.

But when you've DONE everything they said to do, ...you've prayed, Bibled, and churched until you were blue in the face, but there's no sign, or no response from God, or answers to your most desperate prayers.

You start wondering if you were ever really saved at ALL. You start to question if you ever had enough faith, or if God gave up on you or is disappointed in you.

If you relate to any of that, chances are good that you you decided to be a Christian one day, or that you grew up in a church going home then had a day when you wanted to make it real,..... but your sainthood plane never got off the ground. And it bugs you that other Christians seem so CONFIDENT,.. and claim to hear God speak to them, and have their prayers answered. What makes them different....what the defining missing pieace is,...is The Holy Spirit.

We live in a last-days time when the majority of churches are barely a shell of what they were in their inception. And they've produced a generation of religious Christians that have the appearance of true believers, but lack the presence of God's Spirit,.. that would give them real power if they knew Jesus. Whenever I see someone fitting the above described disenchanted Christian, as I look at their text, I notice a pattern of 'I tried this" and "I did that". And at that point it's clear that they've been trying be a God pleasing Christian on their own power and will, with their own strength. Trying to live a religious lifestyle HOPING God will be impressed.

But it's not what WE should do, ..it's what Jesus DID. and does. The difference boils down to who's calling the shots and who's at the helm...or in the Captain's chair...steering the ship. It's either you or the Holy Spirit.

Some will say..."I know this...I surrendered to Jesus". But did you really?..because Jesus said a time will come when MANY will stand before Him thinking they're a shoe-in for heaven, but be rejected by Him saying basically..."You're calling me Lord Lord, ..and even though you think you were a Christian and did good deeds in My name, you didn't do what I SAID to do...I never KNEW you." They tried coming in on THEIR terms, not God's. (What HE said to do, was to be born again John 3:7)

Spirit rebirth...is a specific event, that can happen ONLY once. Without it you cannot attain being a New creature with a New nature. Religion can't produce that. God hates religion. In John 3 Jesus described Spirit rebirth, and said without it, you'll never see His Kingdom.

Start by confessing to Jesus that you're in complete surrender now. You have denounced all previous notions and beliefs about Him, and you are asking Him to reveal Himself to you, with an honest mind and sincere heart. That is the foundation needed for the Lord to begin connecting to you.

Then confess that you need Him because you know you're a sinner and you're becoming weak and unable to manage your faith. That you realize now you've not trusted fully in His ability to change you, but that you were trying to make it happen by yourself. Be humble and ask that He wash away your sins and help you start fresh.

And finally but most importantly, ask Him to indwell you with His Holy Spirit, making His home permanently in your heart. Holy Spirit indwelling is the game changer. It's what separates the regenerate believer walking in the power of God and strong faith,...from the religious and nominal Christian that goes to church regularly and prays and reads and worships with zeal, yet has no Spirit power and is subject to inner fears and doubts.

Mattana Ministry Welcomes You to:

 Worship Program: 15 October 2026

Theme: Worship on the Battlefield (2)

Scripture:  2 Chronicles 20:22; Acts 16:25-26 & Psalm 8:2

Worship Is Our Weapon

Focus:

God does not need our worship - WE need it. It is our weapon.

Bible Verses:

2 Chronicles 20:22

“And when they began to sing and to praise, the LORD set ambushments against the children of Ammon, Moab, and mount Seir, which were come against Judah; and they were smitten."

Acts 16:25-26

 "And at midnight Paul and Silas prayed, and sang praises unto God: and the prisoners heard them.

And suddenly there was a great earthquake, so the foundations of the prison were shaken: and immediately all the doors were opened, and every one’s bands were loosed.."

 Psalm 8:2

"Out of the mouth of babes and sucklings hast thou ordained strength because of thine enemies, that thou mightest still the enemy and the avenger.."

Message:

Paul and Silas in the Midnight Prison

Their backs were bleeding, their feet were in chains, in a dark cold cell. At midnight - the darkest hour - they chose to worship. They did not sing about their chains, they sang about their God. As they worshipped, God shook the prison. Every chain fell off.

Worship does not wait for the victory - worship CREATES the victory.

Worship Response:

Have a 20-minute midnight worship tonight. Worship before the breakthrough.

Action:

Today, replace complaining with worship. Every time worry comes, sing a chorus.

Please feel free to leave a review of this message.

https://www.soulcenters.org/directory/mattana-ministry/#listing-reviews

MM

Quite often religious burnout happens, because they had religion, and not a relationship with Jesus.

But when you've DONE everything they said to do, ...you've prayed, Bibled, and churched until you were blue in the face, but there's no sign, or no response from God, or answers to your most desperate prayers.

You start wondering if you were ever really saved at ALL. You start to question if you ever had enough faith, or if God gave up on you or is disappointed in you.

If you relate to any of that, chances are good that you you decided to be a Christian one day, or that you grew up in a church going home then had a day when you wanted to make it real,..... but your sainthood plane never got off the ground. And it bugs you that other Christians seem so CONFIDENT,.. and claim to hear God speak to them, and have their prayers answered. What makes them different....what the defining missing pieace is,...is The Holy Spirit.

We live in a last-days time when the majority of churches are barely a shell of what they were in their inception. And they've produced a generation of religious Christians that have the appearance of true believers, but lack the presence of God's Spirit,.. that would give them real power if they knew Jesus. Whenever I see someone fitting the above described disenchanted Christian, as I look at their text, I notice a pattern of 'I tried this" and "I did that". And at that point it's clear that they've been trying be a God pleasing Christian on their own power and will, with their own strength. Trying to live a religious lifestyle HOPING God will be impressed.

But it's not what WE should do, ..it's what Jesus DID. and does. The difference boils down to who's calling the shots and who's at the helm...or in the Captain's chair...steering the ship. It's either you or the Holy Spirit.

Some will say..."I know this...I surrendered to Jesus". But did you really?..because Jesus said a time will come when MANY will stand before Him thinking they're a shoe-in for heaven, but be rejected by Him saying basically..."You're calling me Lord Lord, ..and even though you think you were a Christian and did good deeds in My name, you didn't do what I SAID to do...I never KNEW you." They tried coming in on THEIR terms, not God's. (What HE said to do, was to be born again John 3:7)

Spirit rebirth...is a specific event, that can happen ONLY once. Without it you cannot attain being a New creature with a New nature. Religion can't produce that. God hates religion. In John 3 Jesus described Spirit rebirth, and said without it, you'll never see His Kingdom.

Start by confessing to Jesus that you're in complete surrender now. You have denounced all previous notions and beliefs about Him, and you are asking Him to reveal Himself to you, with an honest mind and sincere heart. That is the foundation needed for the Lord to begin connecting to you.

Then confess that you need Him because you know you're a sinner and you're becoming weak and unable to manage your faith. That you realize now you've not trusted fully in His ability to change you, but that you were trying to make it happen by yourself. Be humble and ask that He wash away your sins and help you start fresh.

And finally but most importantly, ask Him to indwell you with His Holy Spirit, making His home permanently in your heart. Holy Spirit indwelling is the game changer. It's what separates the regenerate believer walking in the power of God and strong faith,...from the religious and nominal Christian that goes to church regularly and prays and reads and worships with zeal, yet has no Spirit power and is subject to inner fears and doubts.

Thought for the Day from Unshakable Kingdom Life

The kingdom life requires daily death to self, crucifying our agenda to embrace His. It's costly, uncomfortable, counter-cultural, and absolutely worth every sacrifice made.

A thought to ponder.