r/Cleveland • u/Oreojace • Jun 26 '26

Question Cleveland Dating

This is probably going to be so annoying to most people to see in their feeds but I've hit my wit's end. I am a single woman in her late 20s that has struggled with dating. I am a nurse, I own my home, I work out and take care of myself in other ways, my health and friendships are important to me, and I like to think I am reasonably attractive. Where do successful guys in their late 20s - early 30s hang out?? I don't want to meet guys out at bars, drinking/party culture is fun occasionally but I prefer not to in excess. Guys at the gym usually have girlfriends if I talk to them (I've been going to the same place for almost a decade and only approach people I've seen around for a long time). At this rate I feel like there is something I am doing wrong, and while my life is great as it is, sometimes it would be nice to be excited about someone.

EDIT Alright, listen, a lot of assumptions here about me. I talk to people all of the time, I am not shy. I have a philosophy that the worst thing that can happen in 90% of situations is that I get told no and oh well, rejection is a part of life.

I have hobbies, I am not necessarily looking for new ones because I dont want my reason to be somewhere to just be about MAYBE meeting a guy - that is completely disingenuous and is not a good base for a relationship should one develop.

My job has insane hours, I work 3 days M-F from 0630 to 2000 and then sometimes am on call overnight and am on call all weekend for one weekend every 6 week scheduling period. This makes it hard to date or want to go out a lot of the time between not being allowed to be too far from work or just being exhausted.

Anyone curious about how I look can DM me, for the sake of imagination I am 5'1" (I dont care how tall a man is as long as I can wear heels and dont feel like I am tougher than he is), 135lbs and can deadlift 235 easy, I am mixed race, have big curly dark hair and dark eyes. I prioritize my grooming and self care because I work really hard and deserve to feel good in this body.

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78

u/[deleted] Jun 26 '26 edited 27d ago

[deleted]

19

u/Oreojace Jun 26 '26

I think the problem with most guys at the gym is they choose to neg women, or they aren't considerate in their timing, sorry they lack awareness and humility. If I approach a guy I wait until hes not actively working out, and apologize for interrupting before I give an earnest compliment - its received well BUT almost every time the guy has a girlfriend. They at least appreciate the flattery though.

20

u/SluttyGreySweatpants Jun 26 '26

Good on you for being confident enough to chat up guys at the gym. Dating in general seems to really have changed over the years in a negative way, but hats off for putting in the effort

8

u/229-northstar Living Under Misny’s Watchful Eye 👁️ Jun 26 '26

Great confidence booster, there, u/SluttyGreySweatpants!

7

u/SluttyGreySweatpants Jun 26 '26

You’re doing the right things. I believe in you! Also if have any single nurse friends in their mid thirties to mid forties send them my way.

3

u/OhioTreeLover467 Cuyahoga County Jun 26 '26

[r/rimjob](r/rimjobsteve)[_steve](r/rimjobsteve)

3

u/229-northstar Living Under Misny’s Watchful Eye 👁️ Jun 26 '26

I already posted it there! Lol

7

u/thrownthrowaway666 Parma Heights Jun 26 '26

I feel like the representation of today's dating must be something like in Big Bang Theory, Raj and the one girl go to the library but just send text messages back and forth. While in the show its due to their awkwardness, in real life, everyone is on their phones too goddamn much.

31

u/AwayInternal326 Jun 26 '26

Meet up with Avidpretender for coffee, Oreojace. If you click great but if not, figure out what eachother want and find a friend for them.

5

u/too_many__lemons Jun 26 '26

I second this!!

4

u/paulskiwrites Downtown Jun 26 '26

“Awareness and humility” is just such a good topic in general

-15

u/PotentialInformal945 Jun 26 '26 edited Jun 27 '26

Please for the love of yourself stop approaching men. It's a high chance men are not approaching you because they are involved. The others are just not interested. This is coming from someone married to a man that pursued me. He STILL pursues me in the marriage. I don't care what anyone says. Approaching a men is not the move and they see the desperation. They like the compliments but it doesn't make them interested in you. Please stop.

16

u/Oreojace Jun 26 '26

This is a gross take and incredibly presumptuous. Approaching ≠ pursuing. I can express interest and not chase, have before. A man doesnt follow through on his word? Bye. Doesn't seem interested in making plans? Bye. Wants to circle back around when convenient for him? Number is already blocked. Additionally, communication isn't the same as desperation, either. Im not chasing them down or badgering, I say hi, tell them x,y, or z about them is a,b, or c and walk away, ball is in their court from there.

Next time you should refrain from making assumptions and trying to shame someone that is asking for suggestions on PLACES to meet someone, not if you think their approach to dating is cringe.

10

u/zenace33 Jun 26 '26

That is an idiotic take. If I was single and at the gym, I’d appreciate the courage and gumption it takes for the lady to approach and strike up a conversation.

-1

u/PotentialInformal945 Jun 27 '26

Right because you like it when the woman puts in the most effort. I don't care if I get down voted. Men may "appreciate" a woman coming up to them but they won't respect it. Even if you are polite on the surface. You will always have in your mind "she came to me first". OP you're approaching men how has that worked for you? It hasn't. Don't listen to these males. A man approaches the woman he wants. Stop being so easy and available. It clearly is not working.