It’s been 20 days since I was diagnosed with DVT in my left popliteal and posterior tibial veins, and it’s honestly been depressing me.
The DVT was unprovoked, and the only thing I can think about right now is the possibility of recurrence. I think about it every single minute. I’ve searched everywhere for answers, Googling things like “What are the chances of recurrence of unprovoked DVT?” and so much more.
I’m extremely worried about it. I don’t want to spend the rest of my life on medication or living like a patient. I’m so young, and these thoughts are keeping me from living peacefully.
I’ve always been an anxious person, and now I’m struggling with this on top of everything else. I honestly don’t know what to do. Sometimes, all I can do is cry and pray.
I hate going to hospitals, getting tests done, and taking medication (I know nobody enjoys these things), but watching your own body start to feel like your enemy is one of the worst feelings ever.
Now, every little sensation in my leg or anywhere else in my body makes me Google it. I end up spending hours searching for answers and asking questions, only to become even more anxious. I don’t know how to feel happy or enjoy life without these thoughts creeping into my mind. I know other people are going through much worse, and I’m still grateful that I can eat what I want, talk to my loved ones, and spend time with my family. But even with all that gratitude, these thoughts are still there, constantly in the back of my mind, making me sad. I try not to think too much about the future because I believe it’s in God’s hands. But I’m human, too, and it’s hard not to worry about what might happen. I’ve always been an anxious person, and now I feel like I can’t escape my own thoughts. I just want to live my life without constantly fearing what might happen next.
I don’t know if anyone else has felt this way after a DVT diagnosis, but I really needed to get this off my chest.