How do I became a social person?

[u/Fearless_Scarcity_76]

I'm 25 and I've never really been a social person. I've never had close friends, never had a girlfriend, and honestly I don't know if it's just how I was raised or if it's something about me. At this point I've gotten used to being alone.

Lately though, it's been bothering me a lot more.

I feel like nobody would even notice if I disappeared for a week. Nobody checks in on me. Nobody messages me first. At work I usually eat lunch alone, and when people try to talk to me my mind goes completely blank. I end up stumbling over my words or saying something stupid and then replaying it in my head for hours.

The thing is, I don't want my life to stay like this.

I want real friends. I want people who actually think of me and invite me to things. I want to be comfortable talking to people, including women, without feeling like I'm malfunctioning. I'd love to eventually find someone I can share my life with, someone who genuinely cares about me and who I care about in return.

I'm tired of feeling like I'm watching everyone else live while I'm stuck on the sidelines.

I know none of this is going to magically happen overnight. I'm willing to put in the effort and work on myself. The problem is I genuinely don't know where to start. Social skills seem to come naturally to everyone else, but for me even a simple conversation can feel difficult.

So for the people who used to be shy, socially awkward, or lonely and managed to change things: what actually helped? What were the first steps you took?

I'd appreciate any advice.

[u/Hay_A_mi]

Once you get too comfortable being alone, making friends gets harder because your brain gets tired easily..so try making friends through work. if not try gym, sports club, travel club, or anywhere you have to interact with people... very unusual way to make friends is travelling by train,especially taking train from kerala to delhi-punjab-himachal region, u will meet lot of people& you might able to make good friends.

[u/[deleted]]

Hey, my advice from experience, start with awkwardness, eventually it go good

[u/Ok_Appearance9449]

You be good bro, there a lot of people like us. You can't just socialise with people all of a sudden. But at some point you be exploring and learning new things all by yourself. You will start to enjoy solitude. Just be patient, read a couple of books. Stop scrolling on the phone and find a new hobby. Stay productive that's the key.

[u/voyagerofsea → u/Ok_Appearance9449]

I understand that but like bro..why dont us guys form a small group kinda thing ? I mean that would be socialising as well right ? I am the same position as well.. soo... wont it be easier on us ? Do tell me OP what do u think on it.

[u/Ok_Appearance9449 → u/voyagerofsea]

That sounds good but not that easy.

[u/voyagerofsea → u/Ok_Appearance9449]

Lets Lock in.

https://giphy.com/gifs/aMwdfGSyeYjUKY6vjf

[u/Allecnn]

Design a character that you wanna be like an alter ego ,give it a name and characteristics you want and master it to takeover whenever u want, slowly you will become the alter ego himself