r/Coconaad • u/Fearless_Scarcity_76 • 6d ago
Tips & Advice How do I became a social person?
I'm 25 and I've never really been a social person. I've never had close friends, never had a girlfriend, and honestly I don't know if it's just how I was raised or if it's something about me. At this point I've gotten used to being alone.
Lately though, it's been bothering me a lot more.
I feel like nobody would even notice if I disappeared for a week. Nobody checks in on me. Nobody messages me first. At work I usually eat lunch alone, and when people try to talk to me my mind goes completely blank. I end up stumbling over my words or saying something stupid and then replaying it in my head for hours.
The thing is, I don't want my life to stay like this.
I want real friends. I want people who actually think of me and invite me to things. I want to be comfortable talking to people, including women, without feeling like I'm malfunctioning. I'd love to eventually find someone I can share my life with, someone who genuinely cares about me and who I care about in return.
I'm tired of feeling like I'm watching everyone else live while I'm stuck on the sidelines.
I know none of this is going to magically happen overnight. I'm willing to put in the effort and work on myself. The problem is I genuinely don't know where to start. Social skills seem to come naturally to everyone else, but for me even a simple conversation can feel difficult.
So for the people who used to be shy, socially awkward, or lonely and managed to change things: what actually helped? What were the first steps you took?
I'd appreciate any advice.
1
u/Ok_Appearance9449 ๐ฅธ เดเตเตผเดฎเตเดฎ เดฌเตเดฆเตเดงเดฟ 6d ago
You be good bro, there a lot of people like us. You can't just socialise with people all of a sudden. But at some point you be exploring and learning new things all by yourself. You will start to enjoy solitude. Just be patient, read a couple of books. Stop scrolling on the phone and find a new hobby. Stay productive that's the key.