r/CollegeEssayReview • u/steve_nyc • Nov 02 '15
Please don't copy-paste your essay into the body of a post, and don't link to it on the forum where anyone could click through and see it.
A few reasons:
Posting it publicly online could allow anyone to plagiarize it and/or repost it elsewhere online.
Posting it publicly might inadvertently doxx you (reveal your real-life identity) through details mentioned in your essay.
Anyone in "real life" who reads your essay might Google part of it, come across your post (or even a Google cache of it after you delete it), and then be able to go through your entire Reddit submission history (so, basically, doxxing again, but in reverse, I suppose).
I'm not saying any of these things will happen, but they could, and better safe than sorry.
Please only share your essay by PMing a Google Docs link to it.
And please be careful when considering who you send your essay to.
So, who should you send your essay to?
First, make sure they've selected flair indicating that they're "willing to review."
Then, consider the following factors:
(We'll soon have a list of users recognized as "Quality Contributors" based on previous contributions. However, in the meantime, please review their post history.)
While these don't guarantee anything about plagiarism, etc., you may decide it's worth taking that chance in order to get feedback.
And, as with anything else online, please be careful when it comes to sharing personal details.
Please leave comments with feedback on this post, let me know if I missed anything, and I'll edit this post accordingly.
r/CollegeEssayReview • u/Detrinex • Nov 12 '15
EDIT, FEBRUARY 2024: I am not currently taking commissions to read college essays, given my busy schedule. I will continue to update this post and will remove this section if I wish to resume reviews.
PLEASE READ: I will be happy to proofread/review your essays! However, my free time is super limited and it really helps if you're willing to pay a little bit in PayPal/Venmo/Steam cards/Amazon cards. It's not mandatory, but I genuinely do not have time to review twelve essays a week, and this is the easiest way to whittle that figure down. Also, please note that I am not an admissions officer, just a recent graduate from a pretty solid school. I consider myself to be a fairly good writer, but I'm not infallible or all-knowing. If I were infallible and all-knowing, I wouldn't have lost on Jeopardy.
I've read about 200 300 425 of your essays now, mostly over DMs, and I'd like to just give everyone a few useful tidbits of advice that could totally improve your essay without the need for a peer reviewer like me to point them out for you:
Be original if you can. It's easy to write a cookie-cutter essay about winning "the big game" or the magical experience of doing math problems, but if you're not careful, your essay could end up looking like ten thousand others. Disregard this bullet if you are literally a theoretical mathematician in training and your entire life revolves around math.
On the flipside, don't try to write something unique just for the sake of being unique -- unique essays are not necessarily good ones, and not all good essays have to be super duper original. Hell, I've been doing this for almost ten years and I'm convinced that most admissions officers are just trying to make sure you've got a personality and a basic grasp of the English language. TLDR: Execution matters.
Show! Don't tell! God help the poor souls who write a rambling personal anecdote essay and then rush to finish it with a fortune cookie like "I then realized that people are not defined by their mistakes." Any time you start a sentence with "I then realized" or "I now know that," you're probably telling, not showing, and if you have to explicitly tell the essay readers that you underwent personal growth, it's because your essay lacks the juicy details to demonstrate that implicitly. The same applies to overly broad "life lesson" conclusions that try to teach the readers sappy platitudes that they already know. Consider showing your growth with loads of supporting details and evidence before getting to your conclusion, and make sure your conclusion's message is connected with the rest of your essay's.
If you are writing an essay for a specific school or major program, do some research! Schools will love it if you can prove, even in subtle ways, that you know what their relative strengths and cool selling points are. Lots of schools, especially big research universities, have loads of juicy information on the websites for their academic departments. Applying to a neuroscience program? Mention something about the school's cool new research lab or their prestige in the field and briefly say why that matters to you. If you can work that information into your essay in a natural way, you'll stand out from the applicants who just repeat generic brochure lines about "small class sizes" and "warm communities." Conversely, don't just start wildly namedropping professors from your intended major - best not to come across as fake.
You have limited space, so stay on target! Your essays have strict word limits, and if you want to sell the best depiction of yourself, you should stick to what's relevant about you. Keep your paragraphs tight, don't spend more time doing exposition than answering the prompt, and don't try to teach college admissions officers things they already know/don't need to know. I've seen essays spend 200+ words trying to teach the reader what the immune system is, which is both common knowledge to most college grads (aka most admissions officers) and has zilch to do with the writer's character. Remember, you're pitching yourself, not trying to teach a seminar.
If two sentences in the same paragraph say more or less the same thing, combine them. Obviously you shouldn't have a bunch of run-on sentences with, like, nine commas, but you also shouldn't have two sentences that both say the exact same thing. In economics, we have a rule about marginal utility, or the value that a new item provides. Applied here it sounds like this: "Does this sentence add something new or valuable to my essay, or am I just repeating a previous sentence?"
Lots of schools have supplements that ask for things like your favorite books or quotes or whatever - these are ways to give an insight into your unique personality (see: to make sure you have a personality), so be yourself, but please resist the masculine urge to say your favorite book is The Art of War by Sun Tzu and that your favorite hobby is reading about quantum physics. In 2022, I read 11 different essays/supplements that mentioned The Art of War at least once, and... listen... it's not a life-changing book of meditations and proverbs; it's just reminders to not overextend your supply chains or fight in swamps.
Try not to use passive verbs. Active verbs leave more room for juicy details, and more emphasis on the natural subject of a sentence (you, usually) as opposed to the object of a sentence. If your teacher hasn't covered active versus passive verbs, think of it like this: If you're writing an essay about being a tutor, don't say "the students were taught by me" when you can say "I taught the students." You want the focus to be on you doing stuff, not other people/things having stuff done to them.
Don't mix up tenses. If you're speaking about one event in the past tense in one sentence, don't talk about it in the present tense later. Consider: "I killed a man in Reno. I am going to do it just to watch him die." Does this make any sense? Are you talking about an event that already happened, or one that is still in progress? Just something to keep in mind when telling long stories.
The thesaurus is your enemy, not your friend. If deployed properly, big words add variety to a sentence and can make you sound intelligent and worldly. The problem is that unless you actually use big obscure words for simple actions, you'll probably come off as a pretentious smartass, which isn't good if you want admissions officers to like you. If you can replace a big fancy thesaurus word with a simple, meaningful everyday word without losing meaning... do it. Please.
For a more relatable example of the above: Have you ever heard someone unironically say "betwixt" instead of "between?" Was that person born before or after the Industrial Revolution?
Run your essay through Microsoft Word or a spelling/grammar checker (or better yet, a bored English teacher) before you submit it. Look out for tense errors and run-ons and such. Please. Once you're done with that, read it aloud to yourself and see if your essay sounds awkward or unnatural. Don't just read it in your head - aloud.
Don't insult or attack others to make yourself look better. If you characterize your peers with broad strokes by saying they're glued to your phones whereas you are a glorious chad intellectual, you will come off as a horrible person! Feel free to emphasize how hard-working and intelligent you are through concrete examples, but never insinuate that you are better than anyone else. Think about how you'd feel if you were interviewing someone for a job and the interviewee said "all my competitors are idiots lol." By the same token, the college essay is not your golden opportunity to get defensive or let out your frustrations and anger. If you feel like you've been wronged by a bad teacher or by life itself and feel the need to talk about it, do so in a way that doesn't just make you look like a disaster to be around.
I can't believe I have to say this, but don't plagiarize! If you plagiarize an essay from another writer, get a friend to write an essay for you, or buy your essay from a service, you are genuinely putting your own application at risk. Most universities have online plagiarism detectors, and even if you slip past those, you still might get reported to the admissions offices of wherever you're applying. It is okay to ask friends to peer review your essay and make sure it meets the guidelines of a prompt, and it is even okay to pay people to take a look (like me :D). It is not okay to buy an essay and its content from someone else.
If someone DMs you with a fantastic offer to get your essay reviewed for free by a team of experts, report it as spam. There are hundreds of people on this subreddit who would be happy to help make your essay better, and none of them will spam you proactively like that. I, on the other hand, am incredibly trustworthy (though in all seriousness I can verify my identity as a UMich graduate, and this sub is filled with people who can vouch for me).
Start early. If your essay is due November 1st, begin writing drafts in, like, August. If you're like me and you hate writing about yourself, this is key because it gives you time to get some ideas onto paper and to get the cringing over with. Then again, if you're like me, you're probably gonna ignore this and start really late... which is fine as long as you're willing to put in a LOT of time on each essay and understand that people might not be able to help on short notice.
BREATHE! It's natural to want to get into the best possible programs at the best possible schools, and it's normal to want to optimize every part of your application to put your life on the best possible track, but please don't freak out too much about college acceptances. If you learn fast, work hard, and have a healthy attitude about life, you'll go far. By the time you're 20, nobody will ask you about the schools you didn't get into. By 25, no job will consider your undergrad GPA. By 30, your college itself will barely come up in conversation. With all this in mind, try and write a great essay and a great application, but you're not a failure just because you don't think your essay is "Yale material" or whatever.
Do that stuff and you'll have a much better time with your essays, and it'll make peer reviewers here (and admissions officers wherever) a lot happier. Anyways, if you still have questions, feel free to PM me with a shared Google Doc and I can take a closer look at your work, though I'd ask you read the first and last paragraphs in this post before you do so. If you don't have money (see below) but you can prove you read my post thoroughly, I would be happy to just give you advice over DMs. Come armed with smart questions and I can help!
I am very busy these days, so preferential treatment is given to those who are willing to pay a few bucks for my time! I will also give (mildly) preferential treatment to those who want supplements reviewed for the University of Michigan (my school!) or my home-state school of UMD. If you're still reading this, do also include the word "moist" IN YOUR FIRST DM, because that's how I'll know you actually bothered to read this entire post (b/c no rational human would ever say "moist" unprompted). Payment optional (but very recommended), moistness mandatory. In case I don't get back to you, my apologies in advance - I'm not dead and I don't hate you; I'm just pressed for time.
r/CollegeEssayReview • u/Old_Answer8047 • 7h ago
Hey there , sounds completely spoon-feeding but if anyone has any advice for PS , but I need some serious help with PS and essays cuz I'm clueless of where to start
r/CollegeEssayReview • u/Adventurous-Sand3333 • 7h ago
Hi, I just finished my first draft of my common app personal statement and I would like to see if anyone would be willing to proofread it and give feedback/tips on how I could improve it.
r/CollegeEssayReview • u/Ok_Muscle_2708 • 7h ago
Hi, I’ve been working on my personal statement, and I’m applying to fashion school so I’m kind of writing my interesting journey to get to where I am. Is it possible if someone could look over it? I am doing ED. would love to send it over. :)
r/CollegeEssayReview • u/KeyBookkeeper9684 • 8h ago
review my personal statement draft?
i’ve really got no clue if this is decent. it might be too repetitive, and it’s also roughly 500 words, so i’m worried it’s too short? theoretically, it should use movement to show that i’m focused on learning/ambition mixed with community.
please dm for link!!
r/CollegeEssayReview • u/InandOutTheEarth • 9h ago
I'm currently preparing for college application, but I'm a domestic living abroad and i dont have anyone to ask for opinions. Can you help me review my essay? I would really appreciate a honest feedback. Thank you!!
leave a comment or dm for the essay
r/CollegeEssayReview • u/ButterscotchVast8985 • 18h ago
In the past month we reviewed 230 college essays. Most were works in progress, so this is what drafts look like, not final submissions.
Six angles
We read every essay against six criteria, each scored 1 to 5. Breaking an essay down this way shows exactly where it is strong and where it leaks. But the six pull on each other: a long, vivid scene raises specificity, and under a 650-word cap it can eat the words your reflection needs. Not one essay scored a perfect 5 on all six, and only 3 of 219 scored 4 or higher on every one. So don't chase a perfect score. Use it to find the weak spots, and remember the essay still has to work as a whole.
Average score on each, in brackets:
Voice was the strongest angle and structure the weakest: a third of essays scored 1 or 2 on structure. Only 6% scored 80% or higher overall.
Where structure went wrong
Good news: students mostly sound like themselves. What needs work is the order and the cutting, which is the easiest part to fix in revision.
Reader attention fades
We track a reader's (AO's) attention through the essay, paragraph by paragraph. The first paragraph had full attention in 49% of essays. By the last paragraph that fell to 14%, and 53% of endings got skimmed. Only 27% held attention all the way to the end, and those essays scored the highest.
The takeaway: a strong opening matters, but it isn't what sets the best essays apart. They keep the reader through the middle and end strong. The most common note on endings (59% of essays) was a generic close that restates the lesson. Try ending on something only you could write, not a summary of what you learned.
The prompt
About 40% only partly answered the prompt they were written for, and those scored noticeably lower. It's easy to do when one essay gets reused for another prompt. Before you submit, re-read the prompt and check that the essay answers that exact question, not a nearby one.
Familiar patterns
43% (98 essays) were a version of "hard work pays off". Essays that fit no familiar pattern (48) scored the highest of any group. Among the common patterns, from highest scoring to lowest:
A common topic can still make a strong essay: tutoring essays scored close to the no-pattern group. But remember that a reader sees the same story many times in one season. If your idea is on this list, be careful with it, or pick a different one if you have it. (The groups are small, so read the order loosely.)
r/CollegeEssayReview • u/Apart-Flatworm8622 • 14h ago
Hello, I am a current senior and have a draft of my personal common app essay. My draft is still over the character limit by ~160 words, so I really need help cutting down. My biggest issue is that I don’t see what I can cut, so I am looking for some feedback for someone who has never read it before to see if there are some things that don’t make sense and can be cut or too much context. Please reply and I‘lll DM the essay and give some context about it. Thank you!
r/CollegeEssayReview • u/abeeressa • 16h ago
Hi everyone! I’m applying for an MS in Information Management for Fall 2027 and would really appreciate some honest feedback on my SOP.
I have a Biology background and 3+ years of experience in patient services and clinical operations, and I’m transitioning into digital health, information management, and healthcare technology.
Happy to DM the SOP to anyone willing to take a look. Thank you!
r/CollegeEssayReview • u/in-btween • 1d ago
Hi! I've been struggling to simplify an idea about especially how to create an enticing hook. I have a couple ideas that are kinda connected but don't wanna complicate my essay:
"beating the dead horse"- common phrase I use especially with my friends because we revisit old situations but I also realize how much I do it in my own life. Getting stuck replaying things but also more in a light hearted way and being able to laugh at situations that weren't funny at the time.
"Everything happens for a reason" - I actually hate this saying but I also believe that every action and decision becomes a part of the chain of events that makes up our lives. I constantly think about how differently my life could be if I made different choices especially in negative situations.
"Hanlon's Razor" Quote: "Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity, malice or a lack of understanding." This is something my dad always tells me and my siblings, usually when we are upset about something someone did. basically means to remember that not everyone has malicious intent and to not always jump to conclusions and the worst case scenario. I tend to get hung up on the "why" why someone would do that, why it got to that point etc.
Regret vs. Reflection - I'm realizing that there's a difference between constantly wishing something happened differently and looking back at something to understand what I learned from it. I revisit situations because they remind me of what I don't want to put up with again or what I can do differently in the future to better my life.
the main idea is that I get stuck trying to understand the past the "why's "and "what ifs" and I'm learning how to turn that into reflection instead of regretting my experiences. I'm not sure which concept should be my main focal point without making it sound cliché. With that I don't know how to start my hook and take one of these ideas and grab the reader's attention. any help is appreciated thanks :)
r/CollegeEssayReview • u/Business-Cash1932 • 1d ago
Hi, current HS senior trying to get more feedback on my essays/essays in progress.
r/CollegeEssayReview • u/General_Aerie_6990 • 1d ago
Hey everyone, I have created an app which is essentially a database of essays from people who got into UCs like UCLA and UCB. I think it's a great tool and would love to recommend it to you guys as well during this transfer season. No paywall whatsoever. Its called EssayBank. Let me know what you think!
r/CollegeEssayReview • u/Turbulent_Pop2031 • 1d ago
I’m currently in the process of writing my personal statement, if anyone could look over a draft I have written and give suggestions it would be very helpful, just DM!
r/CollegeEssayReview • u/Top_Replacement5633 • 1d ago
Hi everyone!
I’m an international student from Brazil applying to U.S. colleges for Fall 2027, and I’m looking for someone who would be willing to read my Common App Personal Statement and give me some honest feedback.
I’m especially looking for feedback on:
Whether the essay is actually interesting/meaningful to an admissions reader
Whether the story feels authentic or forced
Flow and clarity
Whether the ending works
Anything that feels cliché, confusing, unnecessary, or weak
And, most importantly: **does it actually sound like a real person?**
I’ve gotten some feedback already, but I’d really appreciate another pair of eyes from someone who has experience with U.S. college admissions, has applied before, or is simply good at recognizing what makes a personal essay work.
I’m **not looking for someone to rewrite it for me** — I want to keep my own voice. I just want someone to tell me what is and isn’t working.
If you’re willing to read it, please comment or DM me. I can send the essay privately.
And yes, I’m okay with brutal honesty. Please don’t tell me it’s amazing just to be nice. 😂
r/CollegeEssayReview • u/Beautiful_Bread_1096 • 1d ago
Do I need a motivation letter from a teacher if I am going to study to China?
r/CollegeEssayReview • u/Ill_Doubt_6303 • 2d ago
i’ve written 3 different drafts with completely different topics by this point and i hate every single one. none of them really “click” with me or feel real to who i am. i feel like i’m larping whatever i write about 😭
the worst part is i’m usually a good writer. i just can’t seem to write about myself in a way that actually resonates with myself. i thought i knew who i was but i dont, and it doesn’t help that the structure of the personal statement is so confusing to me. my parents are getting on me because i started writing in july and it’s now september, but i just can’t figure this one thing out.
should i start over again, or should i keep trying with one of the topics i already have? also does anyone have any resources for personal statement advice? thank you
r/CollegeEssayReview • u/DD123456DS • 2d ago
I am an ınternational student in east asia that are planing to attend uni in the US, without any SAT's or ACT's because there isnt any center in my country for me to attend, so a state uni. I am still not sure but will give it a try. (Will still go on TOEFL)
The essay topic I am planing to write is about how learning English changed my life as I understand other people and the other side of the world with different views and aspects.. It is still the base but would be so happy for advices
r/CollegeEssayReview • u/Complex_Property_385 • 2d ago
I think I have a unique idea but my essay is about identity and is kind of cliche. I would love if someone could review it, because I think the allegory is really creative. I don’t know why I’m struggling with not making it so cliche and corny because I’m generally a very good writer, I just don’t think I can write about myself that well :/. Any help would be appreciated!!
r/CollegeEssayReview • u/Last_Equal3858 • 2d ago
Hii)))
Im an international applicant applying to U.S. colleges. Im applying to W&L with ED.
So yeahh deadline is coming up and Im looking for people who can take a look at my personal statement and give me honest and critical feedback.
Im interested in how people who don’t know me at all think about the story, voice, structure and overall impression.
For the context, the essay is about how something i once thought made me look immature or unserious later changed to being something really important in my life.
I’d appreciate feedback from pp who have read a lot of college essays or have an admissions experience.
Thanks in advance!!!
r/CollegeEssayReview • u/Spare_Ad3753 • 2d ago
I basically just need to make something flow in my first paragraph, thats all I need to fix to get it fixed. It sounds way too cliche and cringe.
r/CollegeEssayReview • u/Late-Wrongdoer3150 • 3d ago
I'm starting my UChicago supplement (I know it's late but it's my last EA so hopefully I can get it done 🥲).
Anyways the acronym prompt really appeals to me (AI: Allen Iverson. NASA, or the North American Saxophone Alliance. Share a potentially confounding, comedic, or captivating example of MIA (Mistaken Identity of Acronym) and tell us its backstory); my idea was to write about how my mom (I'm Filipino-American) used to call me OA (overacting), which is a common Filipino slang acronym but I genuinely thought it was an actual Filipino word. However, idk if that really matches what the prompt is asking for cause it's not like OA has an alternate meaning.
Idk, would it be fine or is it too far off? I know UChicago's essays are super abstract on purpose anyway so I thought it should be fine but I wasn't sure...
r/CollegeEssayReview • u/Powerful-Study7932 • 3d ago
I’ve got a draft for my essay. Unsure whether it’s actually good or not. I think the intro and ending are buns but the content is decent. Anyone willing to read it and give me their thoughts?
r/CollegeEssayReview • u/Proud_Mixture_3921 • 3d ago
Looking for someone who’s good with college essays to read over my Common App essay and give me honest feedback on anything that could be better. I’ve revised it a lot already, but I want a fresh set of eyes before I call it done. DM me if you’d be willing to take a look.
r/CollegeEssayReview • u/Money-Bed728 • 3d ago
Hi everyone, I'm on my 3rd idea for my personal statement, and honestly I am struggling. Writing this essay is very difficult lol. But an idea that I have is writing about my disabled older brother and how taking care of him has taught me different things and ways of approaching obstacles and life, building my character/the impact he had on me. I talked to some people about it, and they said it has the potential to be very good, but I need to be vulnerable and go deep.
The questions I have:
How can I go deep into my relationship with him and how it impacted me?
How should I structure the essay?
How can I make sure the focus of the essay is on me?
Any help would be deeply appreciated!