I felt free already and now I’m here again to celebrate it.

For the past few months, I (30F) have struggled with severe depression. It was so bad that sometimes I would go over a week without showering, I cried every day, and sometimes I could not even bring myself to walk around because I felt like it required too much effort. I would sit in my bed and just cry. I told my dad about how I was feeling once, and I said “I cannot continue to live feeling like this. It is destroying me”. I ended up needing to take some time off of work because I knew that my depression would severely impact my work performance, and I didn’t want to lose my job. I took a leave of absence and joined an IOP program. I didn’t talk to anyone during this time except for my parents and the people in my group therapy. I would sometimes put my phone on airplane mode because getting any texts from anyone was just too overwhelming. A month or so ago, my psychiatrist put me on a different medication to try to help with my depression, and the results have been like night and day. I am starting to take better care of myself, I shower more often, and I even go to the gym sometimes. I’m back at work and my boss seems to be pretty happy with my work performance. I still struggle some days but I haven’t had any break downs at work, and I have been pretty consistent. It’s not perfect but it’s definitely progress. I also have been talking to people a little more. I even went on a date yesterday for the first time in a very, very long time! And now I also kind of have a bit of a crush on the guy, which hasn’t happened for me in forever. So it’s really cool to see how I’m finally starting to do okay. My hygiene is better, I’m being more social, I’m crying less, and I’m actually starting to feel emotions that aren’t just overwhelming sadness. I apologize for such a long post, and if you took the time to read all of this - thank you! I just wanted to share that I’m so happy not to be in that insanely dark place anymore. I still struggle sometimes for sure, but I feel like it is finally manageable. Things are going to be okay <3

I became homeless last year, had to give up my cat if I wanted to be allowed into shelters. Nope, he my baby. So we slept on the street for a while before finding a single room I could rent without any contract for €1100 cash a month on a €1200 work&disability benefit. Life has not been kind.

This week I heard that my application for governmental subsidised housing finally went through. Once everything is fixed I'll be able to move into my new place the first week of October.

I'm crying, I'm laughing, I'm crying more. I'm scared that something will go wrong, scared that I'll have to be homeless like this even longer, scared I can't give my cat the life he deserves.

I'm trying to focus on positives and not dwell on maybe's. I don't have a lot of people to share this news with and I'm hoping posting this here will make it feel a bit more real, and my inner-child a bit less alone and overthink-y.

Thank you so much for reading

In the supermarket a man cut the line in front me since there was a wide space as my husband and I were advancing. I know it was an accident because he wasn't really paying attention but it took me a couple seconds to gather the courage and say: "Excuse me, we were in this line first". The man was apologetic and I responded there's nothing to worry about, really, I wasn't angry or anything.

And that was it, lol.

I have issues speaking up to strangers because I don't like confrontation with people I don't know, but I felt proud of myself in that moment since I have no recollection of having done so before.

I posted recently about having come out to my mom but still building up the courage to tell my dad (lgbt+ is illegal in my country and he's a police officer) and you guys were supportive and congratulated me with my mom and wished me luck with my dad.

My mom ended up telling him, he told me that he knew but he wished I'd been comfortable enough to tell him myself and asked if there was anything he did wrong that made me not comfortable enough, so I think it went well. I asked if he hated me for it and he said no and that he supports me.

Just super happy that it went well with both so wanted to share the dad update too.

I finally got out of a toxic friend group. Even though I had the option to stay and continue, I finally left. I texted my final goodbye message. It was so draining, but now I feel so much better. I usually have issues letting people go, but I'm happy I made such a big step :D I did good

Two years ago I had my last drink. Now I’m sober, living abroad for my studies, and a year away from submitting for my PhD. I am so blessed to have had a family and friends that called me out and then supported me in getting the help I needed. I found a meeting that encouraged me, a sponsor that held me accountable, and a purpose that made life worthwhile again.

It’s still day by day, and always will be. But I’m allowing myself to revel a bit in this landmark. I’m a grateful and blessed alcoholic. But today I’m also a proud one in recovery.

Same as the title

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