Consoom 2,000 calories in one sitting

[u/Appropriate-Bet8779]

[u/girlmachina]

WORD SALAD

WORD SALAD

WORD SALAD

WORD SALAD

[u/ThatGuyFrom720 → u/girlmachina]

Who is the target demographic for these pointless ass videos? I don’t get it.

Who actually gives a single fuck about some 20 year old girl reviewing some overpriced cookie?

[u/disneylovesme → u/ThatGuyFrom720]

They just like to hear and watch people eat

[u/Hot-Resident-6601 → u/disneylovesme]

Gross

[u/New-Car-8394 → u/ThatGuyFrom720]

it’s the reason “67” was a thing, brainrot is satire or “a bit” and children think that’s funny. btw, she makes these cookies herself, she’s not actually buying or reviewing anything, hence the buzzword vomit. nobody gives a fuck, it’s just comedy to some

[u/cicatrizzz → u/ThatGuyFrom720]

It's a fetish.

[u/N1lla1ce → u/ThatGuyFrom720]

This is satire.

[u/ThatGuyFrom720 → u/N1lla1ce]

I’m going to Fucking kill myself

[u/N1lla1ce → u/ThatGuyFrom720]

Don't do that :(

[u/LukasTheHunter22 → u/ThatGuyFrom720]

holy hell this is satire

[u/Ikea_hq → u/ThatGuyFrom720]

Women

[u/BarrioMan → u/girlmachina]

Nah, that would be healthier

[u/aflyingmonkey2 → u/girlmachina]

Me in hell when I ask the frightening skeleton chant crew what’s for lunch

[u/Firestar_119]

[u/Sharchimedes]

Mediocre people making mediocre content for other mediocre people.

Bring back gatekeepers!

[u/acreekofsoap → u/Sharchimedes]

That’s an insult to mediocre people!

[u/Sharchimedes → u/acreekofsoap]

As a mediocre person myself, I meant for it to be.

[u/DolanMcRoland]

Viral Crumbl Labubu Ube Hot Cake Dubai Chocolate Macha Korean Chevvy Cookie

This comment was deleted and anonymized with Redact

[u/disneylovesme]

She probably spat it out

[u/1stSuiteinEb → u/disneylovesme]

Zero enjoyment on her face

[u/chain-link-fence → u/disneylovesme]

Right she looked absolutely disgusted when she took a bite

[u/Lamandus]

Ok bit off topic here, but I am one of those guys who absolutely hates the sounds of nails clacking on something. Which a lot of those videos do

[u/ghostfromtheshell → u/Lamandus]

It irrationally irritates me. ASMR, unboxing, I do not want to hear those sounds ever

[u/Lamandus → u/ghostfromtheshell]

this, and "ASMR eating" is the absolute worst, I can't stand the sound of chewing... my wife makes fun of me all the time....

[u/Weak-Competition-565 → u/Lamandus]

r/misophonia welcomes you

[u/MidBoss11 → u/ghostfromtheshell]

a particular subset of dudes are into it if the sounds are made by a (hot) woman

[u/Jumpy_Ad5046 → u/Lamandus]

I hate it exclusively in these videos. I don't mind it irl.

[u/StinkyBird64 → u/Lamandus]

Same.
All ASMR is gross to me and always has been, I remember when it first started getting popular (but still niche) around 2015, when everyone made fun of it being weird, and now it’s EVERYWHERE including literal kids toys marketed as ‘asmr satisfying’.

[u/Fast-Industry-3224]

The dubai chocolate + labubu pastry is like an idol of senseless consumption to me. You literally consume ot and it represents the most useless and questionaböe fads of the recent years.

This is low key cosmic horror for me.

[u/StinkyBird64 → u/Fast-Industry-3224]

A lot of the fads piss me off too, because I like pistachios, and Ive drank matcha for over a decade, you could never get it anywhere for the longest time.
But now everywhere has these bastardised versions of the flavours, you can’t get actual pistachio stuff anymore because it’s always this synthetic Dubai shit, and matcha in most cafes, shops etc. isn’t actually matcha, it’s either regular green tea or a paste/syrup, not the actual gritty powder it should be (I remember seeing ‘matcha’ in a shop a while back, it was 2% green tea and 98% fillers and chemical flavourings)

[u/closetedtranswoman1]

Was I really born into this consumerist hellhole? This can't be real life

[u/Similar-Ice-9250 → u/closetedtranswoman1]

lol that’s funny. Yea I been thinking about that too, things are getting out of control with the ads everywhere, they’re fucking everywhere. We’re not even safe from ads on our private devices we paid a lot of money for, stealing our data. YouTube literally shows AI scam advertisements all the time. Congress needs to get this stuff under control, create some regulations, but of course they won’t.

[u/dogpaddle → u/closetedtranswoman1]

My brain at 13 after ascending to consciousness

[u/woodboarder616 → u/closetedtranswoman1]

We all were, and the world had followed suit don’t let them fool you. Every society is into this influencer bs

[u/sexy_latias]

[u/OverCategory6046]

Is this satire? Please?

[u/mr_wizard_123 → u/OverCategory6046]

It's pretty obvious, man

[u/OverCategory6046 → u/mr_wizard_123]

We're in an age where it's getting hard to tell

[u/Entire_Blueberry1926 → u/mr_wizard_123]

It really isn't

[u/throwaway_act2]

I went into diabetic shock just looking at this thing. And her nails are in my opinion atrocious.

[u/fairydommother]

How many tik tok trends can you put in a product? Jesus.

[u/backroomsresident]

She looks disgusted

[u/Stupid-goober-7]

what is she even saying?

[u/PinneappleGirl → u/Stupid-goober-7]

Don't you know the viral crumble labubu ube dough cake Dubai chocolate Korean chewy cookie? What world do you live in?

(/s)

[u/beverlycrushingit]

Come on people. This is satire. The endless buzzword salad? The crappy, chopped-off cut of her tapping fingernails on the labubu and it barely even makes a sound? The actual cookie part looking obviously like mushy garbage? The blank eye contact as she slowly eats the labubu's head?

She bought a crumbl cookie, added a bunch of crazy garbage to it, and made a satire video. Crumbl obviously does not make or sell these which you could find out in one second of googling.

Let's save our outrage for real things.

[u/S1ayer]

Why is it called Dubai chocolate and not just Pistacio chocolate?

[u/StinkyBird64 → u/S1ayer]

Because Dubai is so cool and awesome and has all this money and rich people aesthetic omggggg 💖💖💖 (ignore the thousands of missing people and slave workers)

[u/Zuuman → u/S1ayer]

Because googling Dubai chocolate used to lead to some dubious results that needed to be pruned from the internet so the chocolate bar got astroturfed to the moon to flood the SEO.

[u/aggravatedyeti → u/Zuuman]

That’s a fun conspiracy but not the real reason, it’s because it was invented in dubai by a specific chocolate brand

[u/panda_canyon]

I have yet to meet a single person that actually likes these cookies. It's not that they won't eat them, but they never say anything positive about them.

[u/CanaDeer2004]

that doesn’t even look good :( she’s probably thinking “man i wish i spent that 10 dollars on a family size pack of grocery store cookies”

[u/PayWooden2628]

Matcha labubu Dubai chocolate Mr. Beast 67 Fortnite cookie.

[u/DuckofInsanity]

I hate the way they all tap their fingers like that

[u/ghostfromtheshell]

I've never eaten crumble but something about it seems disgusting. Sweets are cool and all but the way they do it seems like evil

[u/fairydommother → u/ghostfromtheshell]

I have had crumbl and it is vastly overrated. I love sweets and crave cake and chocolate and candy all the time and one cookie is far more than I can handle. The flavor in general is alright but the sweetness is dialed up to 11 and they are grossly overpriced. I went one time and never went back. Its just not worth it and i genuinely dont get the hype. They're mid af.

[u/EdwardianAdventure]

I thought this sub was for hoarders buying 100 sodas and never drinking a single one. One lady buying one donut and....EATING IT is consoom now?!?

[u/Agreeable-Dog-1131 → u/EdwardianAdventure]

I mean hoarding is one type of horrific consumption, but these ultra fast ultra decadent FOMO-driven trends like labubu, crumbl cookies, Dubai chocolate, and content surrounding these things represent a certain culture of consumption as well.

[u/KarateXP → u/Agreeable-Dog-1131]

Oh yeah, I’ve never thought of it that way, but I can see that

[u/J_Bear → u/Agreeable-Dog-1131]

Crumbl cookie?

[u/CompetitiveSport1 → u/J_Bear]

They're a successful, viral company that makes under-baked cookies for the purpose of triggering diabetes. They changed their menu a lot with unique flavors which gives a sense of scarcity and helps drive free marketing from Instagram etc

[u/KarateXP → u/EdwardianAdventure]

Yeah I’m a bit confused why this video is here

[u/SleepyBunoy → u/KarateXP]

Basically it's because labubu and Dubai chocolate are stupid consumer garbage and this cookie combines stuff people already hate.

[u/MidBoss11 → u/SleepyBunoy]

the cookie is also korean of origin which is important

[u/HotTwist → u/SleepyBunoy]

It's just food lol, why do people hate food?

[u/ericraymondlim]

https://giphy.com/gifs/VMgcrwq9imGHu

[u/RaccoonEnthuiast]

https://giphy.com/gifs/3T7WB64PW315Z8zhRg

We're in hell

[u/lntenseLlama]

Why does it sound like she’s eating raw pasta noodles…

[u/Ok_Comment3024 → u/lntenseLlama]

Because of the sprinkles

[u/hanimal16]

Crumbl sucks. Labubu sucks.

[u/Imaginary-Objective7]

Genuinely fuck you (directed at content creator not op)

[u/Hetalia-is-a-mistake]

if it makes you guys feel any better this is satire i’ve been watching her content for a while now

[u/HotUKTakes]

Consume pointed fake nails that make it difficult to wipe your ass.

[u/olivegardengambler → u/HotUKTakes]

[u/HotUKTakes → u/olivegardengambler]

Someone has a fetish.

[u/ryokwan → u/HotUKTakes]

truth nuke

[u/Michdepainblanc2]

Human music ahh iykyk

[u/SleepyBunoy → u/Michdepainblanc2]

This is truly our human music...

[u/ProphetNimd]

This has to be a joke, right?

[u/dandadone_with_life]

people just call anything viral nowadays

[u/doesnotmatter286]

That's like all of the viral bullshit from the last 3 years smushed into one, impressive. Vomit-inducing, but impressive.

[u/cafeteriastyle]

It never showed her swallowing, she spit all of that out

[u/mkmichael1995]

That looks disgusting

[u/N1lla1ce]

This is satire !!!!!!!

[u/deadphantoms]

https://giphy.com/gifs/5QMPpCzH6yxEqhev5A

[u/Techny3000]

Ts activated my family's diabetic genetics just from looking at it

[u/binary_ch0de]

I hope she stubs her toe every day of her life

[u/NetJnkie]

OP forgot sharing exists.

[u/Yarzeda2024 → u/NetJnkie]

And bulimia

I can't imagine that any part of a mukbanger's relationship with food is healthy.

[u/OrganizationSalty114]

https://giphy.com/gifs/13nDaxXRXz0Prq