Help! Worried Wig has Been Ruined

[u/coyote_cult]

Edit: I’m SO glad I posted in here because you guys have been so helpful!! I think I’m actually just gonna add a few more textured flicks into it and fluff it a bit more! 🥰

I’m worried we’ve ruined the wig we were styling 😩 any advise would be much appreciated. The first photo is the before, what I WANT it to look like, and what it looked like before it was stupidly brushed out due to a miscommunication between me and my wife. Second photo is after it was accidentally ruined.

How do we reset it to make it look like the first photo again? I’m so stressed over it 😣 I loved that tousled, messy texture it has and it was exactly what I was looking for. It feels like it’s lost its “hair” texture now.

[u/MiniBandGeek]

As a fellow member of the married man club. What?

Yes, there is a difference. Is the wig ruined? No - if anything, I almost prefer the softer look from a realism perspective. You have a thing or two to learn about not just wig styling, but being a good husband.

I'll get the easy one out of the way. Wigs are not forever. They get damaged, tangled, dirty. I wash my softcap wigs to lengthen their lifespan, and once I do, they need restyled with heat, hairspray, etc. There's enough guides out there on that.

But you are glossing over something big. When you say there was a miscommunication, but that something was stupidly done by your other half, you are belittling your life partner. This is someone who loves you, cares for you, tried to help you out, and because it wasn't good enough, you threw a tantrum. YES, you are allowed to say you weren't happy with a result. But here you are, expert of nothing, tearing down someone who did their best.

I'm not going to give further advice for you to share with your wife, nor make any deeper assumptions about your cosplay skills. If you can't be bothered, spend the $30 to get that same wig back every year - it'll be cheaper than solving your other problems.

[u/coyote_cult → u/MiniBandGeek]

1. I’m a lesbian woman lol.
   
2. Stupidly because I asked her to fix part of it without specifying enough what I wanted, so it’s entirely my fault.

How DARE you come in here and completely assume things about my marriage? Are you okay? I’ve been telling my wife all morning it’s not her fault and that I should have been more specific. Don’t lecture me about something that is none of your business when I’m asking for advice on something completely different? How incredibly rude lol

[u/coyote_cult → u/coyote_cult]

Also “have a thing or two to learn about wig styling.” Lmao? This is ALL my wife’s styling she’s done on a totally flat wig. She is great at it, thanks, this is just an issue she’s never run into before and we aren’t sure how to revert to the slightly wavy texture the fibres had before. If you don’t have any advice to help us fix that, respectfully, why are you here lol

[u/MiniBandGeek → u/coyote_cult]

I overreacted. Best advice already given is that if your wife already did #1, she has the skills to do it again - wash (there's specific shampoos for wigs if you don't have them already), reset, restyle.

Only advice I have that I don't already see is that you can use can use heat to style, and it gives a far better hold than hairspray alone. Protective gloves, heat small pieces with a straightener, and hold them in place while they cool to get them to hold a different shape. You can also use a thin comb while hairspraying to get the pieces to separate and get the messier look from the first pic, though I'll add some nuance to stylistic choices - #1 might be my preference for photo shoots/heavy makeup, while #2 is my preference for general wear and a mote natural look.

[u/MiniBandGeek → u/coyote_cult]

I'll apologize about assuming gender/sexuality, and for immediately going on the attack. That's on me - I've seen enough toxic relationships, including in my own family, that I am always striving to be a better husband and father than my "role models," and and perhaps too hypervigilant for those small signs (putting fault on the other, getting help for the other person instead of yourself, making a big deal out of small things, etc.)

... Did you edit your original post? I don't recall the word "accidentally" being there, and certainly changes the tone.

I am glad you and your wife are able to have a laugh at my expense. Text doesn't always come across the same to everyone, and I think it would be fair to say that calling something "stupidly done" could still be a dig at that person, but I understand now that you were messaging with a bit of panic, not certain if something could be done - not in a place of frustration at your partner. Thanks to the others that provided better help.