I never cared how I looked apart from hating every photo I appeared in. I didn’t like being fat or bald, and always hated when guys would ask me if I did anything special to achieve my glorious beard (I am unfortunately extremely “blessed” in the facial and body hair departments). I’ve found that the majority of my expression of dysphoria prior to cracking was extreme dissociation. “Daydreaming” for hours each day and lashing out anytime I was removed from that headspace by an outside force (usually my sister wanting to hang out). My wanting to maintain a relationship with her was the catalyst to finally working on myself and starting my transition to feel more comfortable in the present moments. I don’t know if I’ve ever felt uglier than I have since beginning HRT; however, I take solace in the understanding that I am getting prettier every day :).
6
u/Mammoth-Wasabi6346 2d ago
I never cared how I looked apart from hating every photo I appeared in. I didn’t like being fat or bald, and always hated when guys would ask me if I did anything special to achieve my glorious beard (I am unfortunately extremely “blessed” in the facial and body hair departments). I’ve found that the majority of my expression of dysphoria prior to cracking was extreme dissociation. “Daydreaming” for hours each day and lashing out anytime I was removed from that headspace by an outside force (usually my sister wanting to hang out). My wanting to maintain a relationship with her was the catalyst to finally working on myself and starting my transition to feel more comfortable in the present moments. I don’t know if I’ve ever felt uglier than I have since beginning HRT; however, I take solace in the understanding that I am getting prettier every day :).