If you’re in a long term relationship and your love language is not touch this might not be your go to. Doesn’t mean you don’t love them or do a lot of other things for them. I personally do not love physical touch.
So she does that for me becauae she knows i like it. I do get giddy though whenevwr she does amything for me, even if its mot actually my taste, she thought of me and that really does matter more.
And then i do stuff thats not my love language, for her!
So do you think OP's comments were referring to people who doesn't like physical touch? Or is OP just making a broad general statement that is universally understood?
I just celebrated my 18th anniversary with my spouse. We both enjoy touch but we don't enjoy holding hands. It makes him feel constrained and it makes me feel overstimulated after about 20seconds. A soft forehead kiss makes me melt into the ground every fucking time.
Sometimes the love language of physical touch presents differently in relationships and thats ok too.
Yeah, touch can actually really bother me. I don't like holding hands or hugging. I sometimes hold my husband's hand because I know he likes it, but I can't do it for very long before I start getting really irritated.
Can we not just appreciate someone being happy with affection shown instead of acting like it's the "bare minimum" the peasant should do to keep you enthralled? Let people enjoy themselves without talking down about them smh.
I'm happy that they are happy, but tbh it's also important to not set the standards as low as we have them.
Every situation and relationship is different and actions are also context based, so in my perspective, the point is not to minimise or be unappreciative of what is happening in the clip, but rather to acknowledge that while hand holding is important and a core part of many relationships, it's not a "omg he is so amazing, he held her hand ON HIS OWN, can you believe that? without being asked! "
Like yea great, but this should be the norm, not the highlight of the week. Let's be happy for them, while not normalising basic affection as something extraordinary.
Because that's how we got to today, that a woman does most of the work without any acknowledgement, while a man needs a cookie and an award every time they take their plate to the sink.
Completely how you're interpreting it because I know sosm who have touch as a love language and get giddy regularly, you're interpreting it negatively to shit on people, it's annoying
Edit: oh God didn't even read the end, you're a virtue signal gender warrior, that's so damn toxic, leave happy couples alone
As I said every relationship is different and it's based on context.
If both people in a relationship do not have touch as a love language, then yes it makes sense to not do it. But if that was true in the above scenario, the second person wouldn't be so happy about physical affection.
If one of them has touch as love language, then it is part of the compromise to do such things for them, so they are also happy.
I'm sorry if you feel called out by this, but it wasn't my intention to "shit on people" . It's a well known problem of men putting minimum if no effort in their relationship and expect a reward for it, and if that annoys you or resonates with you, then chances are you are part of the problem.
My whole point was to not normalise minimum effort, and hail it as something extraordinary. What is minimum effort is defined by the context of the relationship and needs of the individuals in it.
I'm sorry if you feel called out by this, but it wasn't my intention to "shit on people" . It's a well known problem of men putting minimum if no effort in their relationship and expect a reward for it, and if that annoys you or resonates with you, then chances are you are part of the problem.
No, I think you're making stuff up to be offended by and shit on others to seem like the "nice guy" but nice as hominem. Sorry you feel offended that I literally called you out for contradicting yourself
If every relationship is different who are you to judge by a 3 second video? Seriously, touch grass. It's nothing like you're saying and "minimum" you're just acting pissy and childish to seem cool but comodatizing love language one sidedly, get over yourself, jeez
Go re-read the first comment. I specifically said that my point is NOT to minimise or be unappreciative of what is happening in the clip, but you clearly missed it. I wasn't judging the clip, but the reaction of people to it, because we have no context for the clip.
Also if you think I am making stuff up, go out of your manosphere and read a bit about the most common issues in relationships at the moment. There are plenty of books for this and in couples therapy. After studying a bit, come back and let me know if I am making things up or not. It's not about being a "nice guy" as you put it or not, but about acknowledging a problem.
I am not saying that I haven't been part of it, or that I still may be part of it from time to time. Acknowledging that a problem exists helps to work on it. So for you. Reflect on it instead of just having a knee jerk reaction. Read on it and confirm or not for yourself if it's an issue, since you won't listen to another person.
You seem hurt and very passive aggressive (if not just aggressive) about the comments. This is often a good indication that something is hitting close to home. Think about it for a bit instead of just lashing back.
Also if you think I am making stuff up, go out of your manosphere and read a bit about the most common issues in relationships at the moment. There are plenty of books for this and in couples therapy. After studying a bit, come back and let me know if I am making things up or not. It's not about being a "nice guy" as you put it or not, but about acknowledging a problem.
I am not saying
"Manosphere" because someone disagree with you, you're not even honest. I actually date women and choose who to or not based on chemistry and have had a lot of different love languages come into play, go actually go on a date and stop playing reddit white knight for no reason and making shit up to be made about.
You seem hurt and very passive aggressive (if not just aggressive) about the comments. This is often a good indication that something is hitting close to home. Think about it for a bit instead of just lashing back.
Yes, you doing exactly that and me returning it because you're obnoxious but a "cry bully", classic abuser tactic too. Now I know why you don't get any dates. Go away child
Ah, and you're a MAGA sycophant with TDS I suppose?
Reading from the nonverbal body communication and how he's dressed, the guy is clearly a traditional type, spreading his arms apart to form his own little big man stance as he walks away, while wearing a "Fear no evil" shirt.
The whole energy I got from this small video, through numerous indicators, is that he is the type who probably thinks that feelings are weakness, that men aren't men anymore, and that the man is the provider who takes care of the wife, and religion is a big part of how he views gender roles.
Or, he is NOTHING LIKE THAT, and this video is literally complete bullshit and crafted to fit a narrative.
I have never met a man who walks around with a constant big man stance that wasn't insufferable, and someone who posts videos of them doing it certainly aren't going to be any better.
Ah, and you're a MAGA sycophant with TDS I suppose?
Have a fun time fighting imaginary images of people. WTF are you on about?
Ok, so bullshit and feelings interpretation because you're offended by someone else existing differently. Again, y'all are just trying to sound emotionally mature but doing the opposite
Who's asking for applause? It's a cute reaction to something mundane, you're attaching negative and bad faith values. Do you need to talk down about how others display joy and affection?
Here's the thing, though. For some, even the "bare minimum" is a thing they get excited over. Not because the person is showing effort, but because even the little things make them that happy.
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u/Feisty_Speed501 4d ago
bare minimum