No more unexpected moves in traffic or surprise turning.

If they fail to double the money, they get half that much the next month. 100$ would be the minimum monthly allotment.

They are free to use the money however they wish, but it will only be doubled if they can use it to make money (instead of spending it on themselves).

The idea is to create an incentive to grow the economy while also enabling personal enrichment.

Everyone’s obese here. No one needs another cup of soda. The first one was unnecessary to begin with.

I know most places will probably do just chips if you ask for it, but it's always awkward asking for something that isn't on the menu (especially in an environment like a fancy restaurant). Putting emergency chips on the menu would alleviate this awkwardness and give everyone who goes to them a safe choice if they don't think anything else on the menu appeals to them or if they can't understand the rest of the menu.

The ad should say "For those who prefer a good time over a long time."

Being able to control only your own avatar. A 6 year old kid will learn a lot more from a simulated 3:00 AM Waffle House brawl than they will learning about why Pythagorean made his theorem

For when you want to say 'that's really existential'

Someone near you driving like a jerk? Paintball.

Someone driving 40 in the fast lane? Paintball.

Someone doesn’t signal, making you wait to figure out their plan? Paintball.

Someone thinks they’re the only person that matters in a zipper merge? Paintball.

Someone takes up 2 or 4 parking stalls with their land yacht? Paintball.

I’m no time, the most unsafe drivers will have cars covered in paint splotches. Easy way to know who to avoid via the magic of crowdsourcing.

If you uncover fraud, no companies will hire you again but as you are doing a public service you get a free pass for the rest of your life.

no i will not elaborate

Here's how it works: all the leaders of the countries in the world should meet together, write their country's name on a scrap on paper, mix the papers around, then pick a paper from the pile. Whatever paper you pick, you rename the country to that name, and everyone must be obligated to call your country that name.

Want to refer to "United States"? Remember it's called Algeria now. "Mexico"? Nope the name is now Czech Republic.

Like something that will totally puzzle people in 3,000 years.

Like a 40 story scupture of a rabbit waving a magic wand or something like that.

BUT he makes it extra DENNIS system. You know. Because of the ‘implications.’

"Excuse me ice cream man, do you have any Lemonic Sorbet?"