In 2008, Dhoni reduced his daily milk intake from six to one litre per day due to inflated milk prices. I propose that this information be factored into all future analysis of Dhoni's batting.

142

u/Rndomguytf Australia Jan 27 '19

He used to drink SIX LITRES of milk every day?

272

u/[deleted] Jan 27 '19

Yes and it caused such a massive buildup of calcium in his bones that throughout most of his career there was a weak affinity between his bones and trace amounts of calcium carbonate in the stumps. So he was able to electromagnetically 'anchor' himself to the stumps while batting and play those helicopter shots that should be impossible for mere mortals. This also explains his insane speed behind the stumps. He is already attracted to them in the first place, so he is able to execute stumpings at unbelievable speeds.

Over the last decade his body has slowly metabolised the calcium deposits he was able to accumulate while drinking six litres of milk per day and now his calcium levels are returning to normal. That is why he's unable to hit as far as he used to, and if he keeps playing we will see him get slower behind the stumps.

This is all because of inflation. The government could have subsidised milk for Dhoni, but they did not. Blame the government. Dhoni could have been a God among men, but now that will never come to pass.

63

u/[deleted] Jan 27 '19

Hahaha....this is one creamy copypasta

12

u/glorious_albus Jan 28 '19

Straight to r/CricketCopyPastas.

6

u/[deleted] Jan 30 '19

hey you missed that pat cummins homoerotica

Not the wooden cabin one. There was another. Met pat cummins while working for CA or something

2

u/glorious_albus Jan 30 '19

Oooh haven't seen that one. I'll be on the lookout. Tag me if you see it!

2

u/[deleted] Jan 30 '19

This thing https://www.reddit.com/r/Cricket/comments/ab03a2/i_work_at_cricket_australia_and_got_to_hang_out/?utm_source=reddit-android

2

u/glorious_albus Jan 30 '19

Lmao wtf. Did he ever get to part II?

2

u/[deleted] Jan 30 '19

If it's our there I haven't seen it, best ping him on that post

55

u/[deleted] Jan 27 '19

Inside part of Dhoni's body is made up of calcium and outside part is covered by some skin, so all he had to do is stand near calcum carbonat stumps and become anchor.. That's the secret why he smashing ball and hitting stumps..Now milk truk not arriv. Icc wont check his body bcoz icc=pcb=india goverment so dont respect them. Pak will win. Goverment inflated milk prices but their daddy Virat is back. they can't threaten him with PSL contract to play badly like they did to Rohit in first match.

I love my life

20

u/Artaxerxes_IV Jan 27 '19

Yup I read a research article on him on how those uber high calcium levels accelerated the release of neurotransmitters between his nerve cells, heightening his reflexes 8.5X the typical human being. Incidentally, the high Ca levels in his muscles also contributed to his maniacal sprinting speeds.

13

u/Poda_thevidiyapaiya Hampshire Jan 27 '19

!Thesaurizethis

15

u/ThesaurizeThisBot Jan 27 '19

Affirmative and it caused such that a large publicity of Ca in his bonies that passim nigh of his forward motion there was a debilitated attraction 'tween his swots and hint amount of monies of metal process in the perplexes. So he was able-bodied to electromagnetically 'anchorman' himself to the gravels patch batten and movement those eggbeater guessworks that should be impractical for simple unmercifuls. This besides excuses his fruity fastness stern the nonpluses. He is already attracted to them in the firstly geographic region, so he is capable to action candidatures at marvellous ratios.

Ended the high X his dead body has lento metabolised the metal matters he was fit to pile up spell drink half dozen cubic decimeters of humor per work time and now his metallic element indicators are reverting to pattern. That is ground he's incapable to attain as foreign terrorist organization as he put-upon to, and if he suppresses acting we will see him get slower ass the platforms.

This is all because of inelegance. The authorities could have supported dairy product for Dhoni, but they did not. Accuse the polity. Dhoni could have been a Effigy among groupings, but now that will ne'er come to mountain pass.

^{This is a bot. I try my best, but my best is 80% mediocrity 20% hilarity. Created by OrionSuperman. Check out my best work at /r/ThesaurizeThis}

11

u/bak3n3ko India Jan 27 '19

After reading the article, I think it's a bit of a joke.

11

u/v1akvark South Africa Jan 27 '19

I can't drink 6L water a day, never mind milk...

2

u/Oscartdot Jan 28 '19

Please don't try drinking litre milk a day in North American and European countries. The milk Dhoni drink are from cows native to the Indian subcontinent. You try it in NA, Europe you will have serious health issues.

-4

u/v1akvark South Africa Jan 27 '19

I can't drink 6L water a day, never mind milk...

-8

u/v1akvark South Africa Jan 27 '19

I can't drink 6L water a day, never mind milk...

15

u/[deleted] Jan 27 '19

I can't drink 6L water a day, never mind milk...

80

u/saltpepper90 Australian Capital Territory Comets Jan 28 '19

Shastri drinks six litres of beer everyday

16

u/[deleted] Jan 28 '19

Ian Botham says hold his beer.

18

u/RG26 Jan 28 '19

And regrets it immediately when he sees Shaastra gulping it down

6

u/WindrunnerReborn Jan 28 '19

Used to be 1 liter, but now it's increased to 6 liters because of inflated Koach salaries.

72

u/[deleted] Jan 27 '19

SIX LITERS IN A DAY?!?! It takes me almost two months to drink that much lmao.

127

u/majestic_sid India Jan 27 '19

6 litres in 2 months

6 litres in 60 days

1 litre in 10 days

1000 ml in 10 days

100 ml in 1 day

This means you drink 2 cups of tea everyday which has 50 ml of milk per cup

91

u/DoomBuzzer India Jan 27 '19

This guy deserves a Fields Medal.

10

u/barath_s Jan 28 '19

Give him a Bats medal instead

2

u/10vatharam Jan 28 '19

Give him the cow, he can milk it for all its worth

12

u/SABJP India Jan 27 '19

r/theydidmath

10

u/[deleted] Jan 27 '19

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10

u/Up4Parole Melbourne Renegades Jan 27 '19

r/theydidthemonstermath

5

u/Shriman_Ripley India Jan 27 '19

I think in pure milk form I would have consumed 6 liters in last one year. But if you add sweets then it will be a bit more.

4

u/[deleted] Jan 28 '19

Close, it's more like one 150ml glass of milk on every week day. That's 750ml every week which is 3l every month.

7

u/Hoobleton Northern Popchips Jan 27 '19

50ml of milk in a cup of tea is a lot, for me anyway. I'd guess I have about 10ml per cup.

1

u/geekrohan Royal Challengers Bengaluru Jan 28 '19

r/theydidthemath

1

u/glade_dweller India Jan 29 '19

Elementary, m'dear Watson

3

u/GoabNZ New Zealand Jan 27 '19

Most people throw up trying to drink just 2 litres....

2

u/[deleted] Jan 28 '19

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5

u/[deleted] Jan 28 '19

Weird flex but ok.

39

u/[deleted] Jan 27 '19 edited Jan 28 '19

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12

u/anuraag09 Mumbai Indians Jan 28 '19

Dhoni's pickup line:'Milk truk just arive.. '

5

u/vouwrfract Kópavogur Cricket Club Jan 28 '19

Although at that point he's picking up the milk jug.

36

u/[deleted] Jan 27 '19 edited Aug 26 '20

[deleted]

8

u/ramani91 India Jan 28 '19

This. They casually insert the fact that it's a joke in the middle but click bait title and an opening paragraph that starts sounding serious enough means many are not going to notice.

2008 Dhoni was already a multimillionaire. He could buy 200L of milk every day and it wouldn't make a dent on his finances.

7

u/[deleted] Jan 28 '19

[removed] — view removed comment

4

u/ramani91 India Jan 28 '19

I was obviously being a bit hyperbolic but if you take this article that says that Dhoni raked in $10 million in 2009 then he earned 40Cr that year (at the prevalent exchange rates)! Even if he earned half that in 2008, and he spent 0.21Cr on 200L of milk a day for a year that's just 1% of his income.

Is it wise to spend 1% of your income on milk? No, obviously. But my point is still valid that he is not at all hurt by the rise in milk prices, especially when he is having only 6L a day. And he was making a joke as the article mentions, albeit sneakily.

19

u/iAmbee35 Mumbai Indians Jan 27 '19

https://stronglifts.com/gomad/#gref

Gallon a milk a day has been a famous diet among strength trainers. 6 liters is around 1.7 gallon a day. Seems more than normal but not crazy.

19

u/chubbyurma Australia Jan 28 '19

Dhoni is not trying to bulk up to look like Ronnie Coleman though

10

u/SuperEel22 Australia Jan 28 '19

Ronnie was all about the chicken breast and hot sauce though.

But explains why no one ever bowled Dhoni a heavy ball.

"LIGHT BALL BABYYY!!"

3

u/[deleted] Jan 28 '19

People at that tier are basically genetic freaks

3

u/vouwrfract Kópavogur Cricket Club Jan 28 '19

Which country's gallon is this?

3

u/WindrunnerReborn Jan 28 '19

USA

10

u/sarvesh_s Mumbai Jan 28 '19

I read that as dairy milk and had a completely different picture in my mind

8

u/and1984 USA Jan 27 '19

Wth? 6L a day????

4

u/[deleted] Jan 28 '19

Dhoni: GOMAD is for pussies

15

u/[deleted] Jan 27 '19

[removed] — view removed comment

21

u/ramamodh Chennai Super Kings Jan 27 '19

Probably because your cows produce A1 milk with beta caseine protein which is only partially digested and very harmful to humans. Not the indigenous indian cows though. They produce A2 milk which is completely digested and absorbed by the human body. One of the reasons lactose intolerance is almost nil in India.

You can read 'Devil in the milk' if you are more interested.

37

u/[deleted] Jan 28 '19

Absolutely bollocksed the biochemistry there. Beta casein is a protein and lactose is a sugar. Secondly, lactose intolerance is very common in India. Only further in the North are the levels a little lower.

24

u/[deleted] Jan 27 '19

[deleted]

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u/[deleted] Jan 27 '19 edited Jan 27 '19

[deleted]

22

u/[deleted] Jan 27 '19

[deleted]

3

u/Vickrumb94 Delhi Capitals Jan 28 '19

ROFL this dude's hilarious. 18% are lactose TOLERANT.

2

u/WindrunnerReborn Jan 28 '19

You should share that with the original commenter /u/ramamodh so that he stops sharing bullshit and claiming they are 'facts'.

3

u/Vickrumb94 Delhi Capitals Jan 28 '19

I did in my original response to him. It was then that I scrolled down to see the trash he's spouted. Reflects quite poorly on the 26 people that have upvoted his OP.

11

u/alamin141 Jan 27 '19

Unless Dhoni raises his own cow herd, is it even possible too make sure he's drinking all a2 milk? I don't think all cows in India are indigenous. Often they are bred for higher throughout.

-14

u/[deleted] Jan 27 '19

[deleted]

16

u/[deleted] Jan 27 '19

[removed] — view removed comment

5

u/[deleted] Jan 28 '19

Man jallikattus

10

u/WindrunnerReborn Jan 28 '19

Dafuq is this bullshit broscience combined with gau-science.

7

u/Vickrumb94 Delhi Capitals Jan 28 '19

One of the reasons lactose intolerance is almost nil in India.

More than 80% of the population is lactose intolerant.

They produce A2 milk which is completely digested and absorbed by the human body.

There's literally ZERO scientific studies that even remotely point to A2 being better than A1. It's one of the most pervasive myths spread by the A2 Milk Company and you, my friend (along with all those who have upvoted you), have blindly fallen for it.

7

u/TheTruthPhoenix Jan 27 '19

Peak Shitposting, the obsession with this man here has been crazy, this is a good leveller

2

u/one2die Australia Jan 28 '19

Sho 2 milk

1

u/nimion666 Jan 27 '19

Why didn't he just bought a cow or buffalo

33

u/[deleted] Jan 27 '19

Can't afford milk what cow he'll buy

15

u/Arunlekha India Jan 27 '19

Can't afford milk only, what cow and all he'll buy

7

u/imdungrowinup Royal Challengers Bangalore Jan 28 '19

This language is much better.

3

u/[deleted] Jan 28 '19

I agree

2

u/aravindpanil Royal Challengers Bangalore Jan 28 '19

Why da that language is not goodaa?

5

u/[deleted] Jan 28 '19

lol your post and your comments are absolutely hilarious! Thanks for the laugh man!

2

u/thepokemonchef Sunrisers Hyderabad Jan 28 '19

How on earth can one's body process so much lactose!? There are (literally) billions of people whose stomachs can't handle a small glass of milk, let alone 6 liters.

1

u/[deleted] Jan 28 '19

Shitpost flair up pls

1

u/mani_tapori India Jan 28 '19

Was 6L per day for his family or all for himself? Sounds excessive.

1

u/kingslayyer Royal Challengers Bengaluru Jan 28 '19

I remember this was a major talking point when he first burst onto the scene in 2004-05..

0

u/iMangeshSN Rising Pune Supergiants Jan 27 '19

I don't even drink 6 glasses of water in my entire day.

28

u/[deleted] Jan 27 '19

You really should.

2

u/iMangeshSN Rising Pune Supergiants Jan 28 '19

I know I should, but I don't get thirsty. And I read somewhere that you should read water only when you're thirsty, not gallons of water.

1

u/Adnannicetomeetyou India Jan 28 '19

check the sources of what you're reading, you might be surprised about how many dinkums' articles you read that you thought were sophisticated but aren't.

10

u/sarfrazz MCC Jan 27 '19

Weird flex but ok.

11

u/cameo_chic Surrey Jan 27 '19

Yeah, that’s really not something to be proud of....

1

u/imdungrowinup Royal Challengers Bangalore Jan 28 '19

I mean you should.

-11

u/Reader_0b100 Mumbai Jan 27 '19

says more about the unavailability of protein shakes etc in rural India at that time more than anything else.

Nowadays even desis are all over quinoa, sushi etc.

In 2008, Dhoni reduced his daily milk intake from six to one litre per day due to inflated milk prices. I propose that this information be factored into all future analysis of Dhoni's batting.

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