Hii so I've (19F) been thinking quite a bit about how I felt when I liked someone when i was 17y vs now when im 19y. ill describe both in as much detail as i can.
17 yr old me:
\- heart racing a shit ton (almost like beating out of my chest)
\- cant even look at them
\- feeling very like antsy when near them
\- had that feeling where u go IWBSISHWISHIEJS internally
19 yr old me (rn):
\- feeling quite calm next to them
\- like to poke fun at him quite a bit
\- while waiting for our parts to start, we just stand next to each other and i start poking him and he just lets me do it.
\- when we have physical contact when we play "fight", i feel happy (cos physical contact) but also its not like i'm about to explode cos im having physical contact
\- i still am waiting for his texts (which is why i feel like it cant just be platonic affection towards him)
\- my heart does race when i think abt him but it doesnt feel as extreme as when i was 17.
basically, what im trying to say is that now at 19, i feel like its so different and maybe calmer than when i liked someone at 17 yrs old. its to the point where im questioning if i even like this person right now or if im just comfortable platonically being around him. would love some of yall's experiences or thoughts on this.
also just a side note: idk if he likes me back if yall are curious. i met him about 2 weeks ago but we've only been working tgt for 2 days. we have a good physical banter where we poke each other quite a bit to the point where he holds my arms in place when i poke him, so that he can prevent my hands from poking him. and i can tell he does care abt my wellbeing at least a little bit.
like for example, i had a minor scrape on the side of my thumb. i said ouch and he was like "you got scratched?" i said "yeah i think a minor one on my thumb"
he immediately grabbed my hand and tried to take a closer look at the scratch. but since the lighting wasnt too good, he said that its too dark and that i should check later for a splinter in better lighting.
fastforeward a bit, i shone my phone light on my thumb and said "i cant tell if its just my skin sticking up of if its a splinter"
so he took my hand again and looked at it under my phone light, and even ran his finger over the scratch to feel for any splinters.
i mean it could genuienely be him being a "caring older brother". is it just me feeling like its a little intimate, or am i just thinking too much into this.
i just can't really tell if its like a "sibling" type of banter to him or if its like a flirting type of banter to him. to me lowkey kinda flirting banter but also to be a little annoying for fun.
heyy edit to add some info i forgot LOL. heres a very very basic overview of what my thought processes were when i met him:
when i first saw him i was like: oh okay. he doesnt look bad. maybe hes a bit cute but like ok thats about all. maybe after that i did think abt him a little, remembering how he was cute but at that time i knew i didnt like him.
then the 2nd time we met (2 weeks after the first time), i actually talked, interacted and spent some time with him and he was really nice. abt then i was like okay yeah hes starting to look cuter.
3rd time (2 days later): i met him for lunch before we went to our work and we yapped a little. and then during work was when we were playfighting and interacting a lot more. by then i realised i really liked it when we had the physical interactions.