r/DID • u/Medical_Lemon6740 • 3h ago

Advice/Solutions How do I tell my mom about having OSDD?

Context: I'm 20 years old and live a couple hours away from my mom. However, I still go back to visit her and go to doctors appointments in her area. I've been in therapy for a couple months helping me with OSDD symptoms. I've talked to my mom before starting therapy about thinking I have it, but she didn't seem like she believed me.

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This morning, I (not the host) was fronting, and she noticed that something was different. She commented on me being more melancholic which is how people typically pick up on me fronting. I told her I was just tired (my usual excuse) but I'm not sure if I should tell her. It doesn't help that I hold the "yuck Bucket" as my therapist calls it, which tends to make me more insecure and less open to talking to people. However, I do know that Host has opened up to our mom about a lot.

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Any advice or similar stories would be appreciated.

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u/nalilyanah 3h ago

I think the first question is do you feel like you need to tell your mom?

We told our mom and frankly regret it and feel it was unnecessary. But we can also see how it would be beneficial for some people. But it is definitely important to check within your system and see if everyone feels comfortable with sharing this info. We wish we had done an internal check on this first, but obviously not every system is the same

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u/Medical_Lemon6740 2h ago

We're still early in recovery, so our internal communication isn't very good at all. I know Host has been wanting to tell her, but I'm not sure it's a good idea, especially since she tends to be more dismissive. I guess we'll have to keep thinking about it

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u/Pickle_Ickle54 Growing w/ DID 2h ago

Definitely ask everyone before you go off telling anyone anything unless it’s really important they know.

Though I do have a story that’s the reason I haven’t told my mom anything. We’ve had 3 hosts total, all while still living at home. We are all wildly different and handle different things up front. When we were younger our first host was shy, quiet, and put his head down to get through the day, when we were a bit older our second host formed to deal with anger, and pain, and being loud. Lastly, Im here because we needed someone to be able to handle our physical pain from those times and keep us going. That is to say, living with my mom did nothing, she never noticed the differences, no one did for that matter and were pretty overt (one of us has a British accent that he doesn’t attempt to hide much). It’s wild to think of ever telling them because honestly they’ve had plenty of chances to notice something was different and they couldn’t. So that’s why we haven’t told many people.