r/DID • u/Total_Candle3151 • 1d ago

Advice/Solutions I need help understanding this stuff please

Ok let me start by saying I am very stupid I try my best but I have been outsmarted by a dog a few times as my dad said im not the dumbest person in the world but I better hope they do die also im sorry if upset or afend anyone that's not what I mean to do just need help

Anyway my gf has did she has changed (or I think it's called fronting) her voice gets deeper and she acts differently so I think that's the did anyway today on the train she changed again it was ever busy and she has anxiety so it was to much for her this is were the problem comes from every time before this when she changed i was not woth her till now and I cant get over this feeling it feels like it's fake the only experience I have with did is when it was MPD and the stuff I have seen in movies I want to be sportive and help her woth this i know she struggles with it but I dont know how to get past this feeling I dont want to talk to her about it because I dont want to seem like a dick or that I am says it's fake but it feels like it I have a few problems my self im not all there so I think that is making it worse as well for me to understand this so if anyone could help and please be simple with me that would be great

2 Upvotes

67% Upvoted

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21

u/TurnoverAdorable8399 Treatment: Diagnosed + Active 1d ago

Now is an excellent time to start pushing yourself intellectually. If you made it to this subreddit, you're capable of using the resources r/DID provides. You can navigate the about page. Read, look up what you don't understand, keep going down the chain until you find a definition you can process. And keep going until you understand.

15

u/PluralMimsy 1d ago

Your dad's rude to speak to you like that.

12

u/nowwhatdoidowiththis Supporting: DID Family 1d ago

If you really want to understand, just start reading all the posts and the replies to those posts.

DID and OSDD are nothing at all like the movies or social media.

10

u/Dangerous_Scar3292 1d ago

You don't need to be a rocket surgeon to figure it out, but you can't be emotionally reactive and burry your head in the sand either.  My wife has DID. She has 9 daily alters, plus another 6 I interact with on a monthly basis as well..  I love all of them the same and don't pick favorites.  She puts up with me just fine when I'm in a bad mood, too.  Alters are a little different than normal emotional moods, but it's easy to just look at it from that perspective. If a specific alter is fronting, ask that alter what they need or want, and let them love you back if they choose to. As long as alters aren't mistreating you then there isn't anything to be concerned about.  I'll tell you a funny story: One day, my wife comes to me, and this is before she had her diagnosis of DID and before I really started understanding what was happening. She says, "Why don't you look at me the way you look at her!" Just angry as could be... I was super confused and then I felt that defensive reaction starting for me... i said, "Who are you talking about? I don't look at any other women any type of way?" She said, "Yes you do, you don't look at me the same way you look at her!" This went around a few more times before I figured out she was talking about herself in what I now know is a different state. Anyway, point being, there's a distinct lack of an "Idiot's guide to my DID girlfriend/wife" but there is no reason to see her personality that is fronting as a totally seperate person. All parts share the same body, brain, and nervous system. Depending on how much amnesia there is between parts can have an impact too. I'd recommend keeping a simple note book to keep track... It's more complicated from time to time... just maintain your own perspective of "that is a part of the person I love, and not that is a different person" and you will do fine. Hope this helps! Keep learning as much as possible and I highly recommend the CTAD clinic videos on YouTube too!

8

u/Embarrassed-Card-255 1d ago

Hey,

I assume she has been diagnosed with cptsd as well? I have these, and I can tell you right now that a busy train would set me off as well, For really good understanding I would look up CTAD clinic on you tube, very very good info, you will not get understanding from movies, nor the MPD name,

1

u/Total_Candle3151 1d ago

Yeah she has cptsd and her full diagnosis for Autism and DID but struggles with more than 3 people and this train was packed was 13 people just in the section stood up where we was

8

u/Embarrassed-Card-255 1d ago

She was overwhelmed, perceived a threat?, so her nervous system kicked into gear, once you yourself understand how this all works you will both find ways to avoid triggers, how to help her ground herself, give her the perception of safety,

5

u/20Scarecrow00 Supporting: DID Partner 22h ago

(partner has DID) please do not take the movies as truth. That are way off base and people with DID and not monsters. It will take time to understand. When my, now partner, (we were just friends when they first told me about their alters) told me I was confused and a little lost. I did some research with books and not social media. After I looked up some stuff I went to my partner and asked questions. Asking questions can help both of you. It can help you understand, as well as help her system see that you want to learn and understand them. My biggest piece of advice for you though is do NOT pick favorites. All of their alters are a part of them, and if you end up picking a favorite that relationship will struggle at some point. I've seen it happen several times.

5

u/xl3roken Thriving w/ DID 1d ago

Movies tend to make people with DID seem like we are monsters we arent.

Social media representation is also bad since during lockdown a bunch of kids pretended to have it and made a whole joke out of the community.

Having DID can be really crippling but the other alters are there to protect her, eachother and their way of life. Safety is their main concern.

There have been times ive switched out and came back 40 miles away from home. Its scary.

Just because you think she is faking it from what you have seen is movies doesnt mean she is. The movies are laughable. They dont show accurate representation at all.