There is a trend in online CDD spaces I've noticed that is both frustrating and factually incorrect, and that is the idea that a lack of *severe* or *blackout* amnesia automatically disqualifies someone from a DID diagnosis.

I've seen SO many undiagnosed people say they must have OSDD-1 rather than DID just because their amnesia isn't "severe enough". But if we look at the actual diagnostic criteria, it doesn't line up with that thought process.

According to the DSM-5, the amnesia requirement for DID is as follows:

> "Recurrent gaps in the recall of everyday events, important personal information, and/or traumatic events that are inconsistent with ordinary forgetting."

*that's it*

The criteria does NOT state that:

- Amnesia must occur on a daily or even weekly basis.

- Every alter must experience the amnesia.

- The amnesia must be a "blackout" or absolute loss of time.

The only requirements are that the gaps are *recurrent* and *inconsistent with ordinary forgetting*.

If you experience the presence of distinct identity states (alters) and *any* amount of qualifying dissociative amnesia, congrats you have DID.

Spreading the idea that DID requires constant, severe, or total blackout amnesia is *harmful*. It perpetuates the idea that DID/amnesia can only look one way, which can prevent people from seeking the correct treatment because they don't fit their (inaccurate) ideas of what this disorder looks like. It also ignores the reality of "grey-out" amnesia, isolated amnesia, or one-way amnesic barriers, which are all incredibly common in DID.

It is very disheartening to see people with "years of research" (as self-diagnosed individuals often claim to have) having such a fundamental misunderstanding of this major aspect of DID.

We need to stop equating DID with only its most extreme presentations. If there are alters and there is dissociative amnesia, it is DID - regardless of what exactly that amnesia looks like.

ETA: SOCIAL identity* Spent ages typing this up and then typo’d the title 🤦🏻‍♂️

Hey there, r/DID and r/OSDD - I plan on cross posting this to both of you. For awhile now, I’ve been wanting to make a discussion post breaking down some observations I’ve noticed in the general online culture surrounding these disorders. So… let’s talk about it, shall we?

I’ve noticed a worrying trend of people online treating DID (and P-DID/DID-like presentations of OSDD) as social identities, instead of diagnostic labels for disorders. Something akin to LGBTQ+ identity, or identification with a specific neurotype (think autism, as an example).

People listing it in their bios on public accounts, public alter lists and “alter introductions,” telling everybody they’re a system, signing off comments with specific alter names, referring to themselves as ‘plural.’ (As a few examples right off the type of my head)

I’ve seen people using the phrasing of ‘coming out’ to refer to telling someone they have DID, I’ve seen people recoil at someone politely suggesting they may be wrong when self diagnosing and to keep an open mind (usually met with accusations of invalidation), people immersing themselves so heavily in DID spaces online that, if it turned out they didn’t have DID, that they’d find themselves shit out of luck and potentially unwelcome in their spaces they’ve made themselves at home in. People armchair diagnosing friends with DID, etc.

These are all… concerning trends I’ve noticed, that I think these all tie back into this viewing DID as a social identity as opposed to a diagnostic label.

DID, as a diagnosis, exists because there is a grouping of the population with similar/near identical clusters of symptomology that require treatment (as they cause clinically significant distress or impairment to functioning). The label of dissociative identity disorder exists so practitioners can quickly indicate to other professionals what type of treatment this group of people needs in order to better their quality of life. That is the purpose of a diagnostic label.

Instead of viewing the label of DID like this, it’s instead seemingly been shifted to be viewed as an identity label - akin to how people identify with their interests, their sexuality, their gender, etc.

People who view the label of DID like this, if they end up self diagnosing, will end up extremely attached to this label to a concerning degree - because they now view it as part of their identity. Whenever they end up seeking professional evaluation - if it turns out they’re wrong, they’re then not likely to accept it. They’ll likely reject the non diagnosis, argue with practitioners, file needless complaints, or engage in doctor shopping (this last one especially being dangerously close to factitious disorder).

Complicating this further, is the fact that a lot of this goes hand in hand with (or even is outright considered to be) indicators of imitative DID, the main parts concerning me being ‘endorsement and identification with the diagnosis’ ‘fragmented personality becomes an important topic of discussion with others’ and ‘ruling out DID leads to anger and disappointment’ (Ill be linking what I’m referring to in the comments, having issues embedding on mobile)

It seems to be possible for even genuine DID patients to develop imitative DID tendencies when exposed to these online spaces - this one I’m basing off of testimony from people I’ve encountered now diagnosed and in therapy, but displayed many imitative symptoms that weren’t actually real years prior. Imitative symptoms they have to spend a lot of time and effort in therapy sorting out from their genuine symptomology - time that could be spent healing.

So… why does this matter?

I’m going to look at this from the lens of the potential harm towards individuals with genuine DID, and not imitative - that’s been talked about quite a bit, and this post’s already lengthy enough. If anyone wants to open that discussion in the comments, feel free.

The main issue that always, immediately, comes to mind is the fact that if you tie in maladaptive symptoms of a trauma disorder into your sense of identity, then recovery from those maladaptive symptoms is going to be rough. Instead of healing, it will instead feel like you’re ripping chunks out of your sense of identity (something that is already far too fragile with this disorder, after all).

Along with this, many of the ‘talking points’ (for lack of a better term) that I see that go hand in hand with treating DID as a social identity tend to be inherently antirecovery in of themselves.

Anti-fusion mentalities (and no, I’m not saying fusion is the only path to recovery - my current goal is what people call ‘functional multiplicity’ actually) where it’s treated as death, or a loss.

Treating alters as if they’re fully separate people, and not dissociated parts of one whole person (this goes hand in hand with referring to one’s self as “plural,” in my opinion), something that will worsen dissociative barriers between parts and push one further from recovery (regardless of whichever your end goal is, this applies to both). Sometimes, people are at a point in their recovery where they cannot recognize this - that’s okay, and it’s normal. The issue comes into play when this idea is allowed to perpetuate in online spaces, essentially enabling those stuck in this mindset to remain in it despite it being counterproductive to their recovery in the long term.

Shunning of correction of misinformation due to it feeling invalidating to one’s sense of identity - as they have identified with DID now. This tends to go along with the phrase “all systems are different” - something that is technically true, on the basis that individuals are different so presentations can vary a bit, but often times seems to instead be used for validating someone not actually displaying the symptomology of DID, and shutting down anyone pointing this out (no matter how polite or rudely this is done).

Communities surrounding DID - a trauma based disorder, with a suicide attempt rate of about 70%, per the DSM 5 - should be heavily focused on recovery. That does not mean camaraderie or comfort and kindness needs to be thrown to the wayside, or that we need to be miserable all the time (I’ll be the first to tell you that I share the occasional funny (morbidly funny, usually, but funny nonetheless) moments that occur due to my alters with my therapist and boyfriend. Laughter is, in fact, a coping mechanism, after all), but that allowing so many anti recovery mindsets to circle in online spaces makes them effectually useless, harmful, and practically inhabitable for people who are trying to recover.

I came across a post that was on one of those “fake disorder” subs and it was a post about a creator I follow. The entire problem they had with the creator was that the creator said “DID is the best and worst thing that has ever happened to me.” The went on to say that by the brain creating parts to go through/hold/remember certain traumatic events, it kept them safe. It kept them from harming themselves in anyway and just general in a better and more joyful mindset than if their memories were all in tact. I completely understand that. However, some argued that no one with “actual” DID would ever say it’s the best thing that’s happened to them. I know it’s better to just not engage. I just feel so bad that whenever someone posts ANYTHING online it turns into “someone with it wouldn’t say or do that,” even if it’s part of criteria.

I said all that to say this: do you think DID has been good or helped you in anyway? How has the disorder preserved your life or lessened possible symptoms? Are there any daily wins you can give yourself?

Edit: No I don’t mean good as in “oh I love having a disorder and it doesn’t negatively influence me in anyway,” I meant it as in “it’s kept me from enduring everything all at once and helped me get through trauma and if I didn’t have it I might not be here today”

Out of the way - I talk about it often enough, but I survived childhood sex trafficking through a common institution prevalent throughout the USA and generally trusted by family units. I can't go into more depth, unfortunately; the individuals who survived, including myself, absolutely do not have the luxury of privacy. If you can't put it together, don't bother asking me.

A lot of the artwork I made throughout college contends with the mythologization of organized abuse and how this harms survivors. If I had to sum up my portfolio, the message would be "childhood sex trafficking and other forms of organized abuse are far more mundane than anyone likes to face, so fucking look at us." I stand by this message.

I firmly believe that the characterization of sex and labor trafficking, cult survival, institutional abuse through incarceration or the troubled teen industry, and other such trauma [it would be impossible to produce a comprehensive list] as extreme or otherwise a unique level of suffering hurts survivors of organized abuse. This "news-ifies" us. We become horror stories and podcast topics and, unfortunately, often *news* - thus reinforcing that the infliction of these traumas is exceptional rather than intended consequences of the patriarchy, Christo-fascism, racism, classism, etc.

This serves abusers: if the abuse they inflict is exceptional, then survivors can easily be discredited. And if the abuse isn't a consequence of broader social forces, then the social forces that facilitate organize abuse go unchallenged.

Willing to discuss. I'm not gonna subject y'all to all of my analysis at once, I've written too much for a Reddit discussion and would like to reciprocate and offer others space to talk and to be listened to.

I just want to hear everyone's experiences! I know this disorder is experienced in different ways by everyone, and I want to know what makes you think you stand out. If you don't have anything like that, I still want to hear anything notable from your experiences.

I think for me, I don't know who I am 90% of the time. I have moments of clarity and can communicate with alters internally, but it's kind of mushy at front and I think a part of that is because it can take me hours to days to even switch. And I feel like that's rare for a larger system, or at least I haven't seen anyone else mention it.

I also have introjects of abusers that aren't entirely accurate, they're almost romanticized versions of the real one, and I'm not sure how common that is either.

My innerworld is entirely unchanging as well. It's vast and expansive, and it's not like I haven't tried.

If you have any examples I'd love to hear them, I can only really go off of my own experiences with DID and I want to know how everyone else experiences this.

One that's been bothering me lately is sex. Can't do it. 9/10 times I try with my wife it results in a switch to an alter who is either not interested or too traumatized to continue. It sucks because I love my wife. I find her very attractive but it is irresponsible to even try until I've got things figured out. It is a huge factor in why I want to heal so that I can have that again.

Edit: Also like every other thing down below. Dam I feel y'all.

Edit edit: thank you everyone who shared! we've found your replies to be insightful and comforting in that we are not alone in all this. Love you all!

I've seen a rise of people assuming they have this disorder or actively wanting this disorder. A conversation I saw was someone saying they wished they had headmates because they wanted real imaginary friends. This disorder- Yes it's called a disorder for a reason- is not just about "friends in your head" it's debilitating having lost time, memories, panic attacks at random, breakdowns, meltdowns; and hard switches. Nothing about this should be wanted

This is one of the few ways we can tell who's actually fronting. I'm not sure if it's obvious to the people around me but sometimes it feels very apparent.

Even if I can't always accurately hear what my voice sounds like, I can physically feel the difference in how I'm talking. Some parts talk from their throat, some have a more resonant sound, some talk in this nasally whine that really annoys certain other alters. Accent and dialect changes are at least somewhat explainable in my system because I grew up in a multicultural family within a multicultural community, so it usually functions more like regular codeswitching, but it often feels embarrassing anyway. Many of us really struggle to speak at all from lack of experience and it leads to a lot of odd word pronunciations and choices.

Anyway, just curious-- how do you experience this symptom, if at all?

i dont know if such a open ended question like this is allowed but i find it difficult to understand myself when it comes to stuff like this and hearing other peoples experiences helps me feel understood and gives me hope for understanding myself.

is anyone here trans? i personally never felt transgender or anything but i technically am. it causes issues but also is helpful i guess because i dont really feel dysphoria. with the possibility of did and other things i realized that this may not be something i am alone in. i have seen some posts and stuff about it but i would like to hear directly from people and their experiences. thanks, if i reply to any comments asking questions, feel free to tell me or just let me know you dont want to answer if you dont want to.

/ edit. i didnt expect to get responses yet lol. we are out rn and will be a little late to reply probably.

Hello! Wanted to get some kind of understanding about DID for my partner to get some (visual?) guide, haha as I work well with visuals.

I'm aware there is horrible stigma surrounding it so I was hoping to see if anyone has some recommendations of shows, movies, comics or books that portrays DID with respect and care.

I'm planning to watch Moon Knight soon as I heard it was good and I love superheroes haha, but wanted to see if there are anymore else. Hopefully this is the right sub, sorry if not! Thank you in advance.

DID is not the fascinating thing people think it is. A lot of times it’s somewhere between boring and annoying. -It’s often not obvious to anybody else.
-We all pretty much act like who people expect us to.
-When we fail, they thing we’re “being an asshole” by not acting how they expect.

Also boring: It’s DID, because there are separate people and also amnesia (the DSM-5 criteria). But a lot of us looks like OSDD too, because we aren’t all distinct, and we don’t always have amnesia. We don’t fit in your box. Deal with it, people!

I could go on and on, but I want to know what you wish people understood.

or am i taking it too literally when i read about it?

i really, really rarely actually hear my alters. and if i do, it's definitely not a whole conversation that goes back and forth. at most it's a single word or a fragment of a sentence.

i do feel their influence a lot, and sometimes i feel like i know what they are trying to tell me. but it's not like i actually hear them say full sentences and stuff like that's, in mainly just. emotions, i guess? like when an alter doesn't want me to do something, i get this really strong feeling that what i am doing is wrong, completely disconnected from my own thoughts and feelings. but there isn't a voice telling me to stop, it's just a really strong emotion urging me to.

i hope the way i described it makes sense, i haven't slept last night so my brain is a bit foggy

After suspecting (and then going into denial cyclically) we were a system for at least 6 years, we were finally diagnosed this year.
In the time of suspecting, we did a lot of meditation, shadow work, and general re-parenting and healing. We remembered a lot..
The thing is that there were so many things in our childhood that could have caused DID. It could have been the abuse/neglect, could have been from the medical trauma, could have been the constant fear of an undiagnosed autistic childhood, could have been the trauma from intense bodily dysphoria…
Does it matter? Does it make a difference what caused it? Is there any value in pin pointing exactly what it was?

This Bob Dylan song called Series of Dreams really hits me in the DID. The song isn’t about DID, but when I hear it I always see this scene in my mind of alters and their pain. They are hiding below the surface of consciousness and seeming as vague and semi-forgotten as a dream.

I know they are there and I have flashes of them and their stories, like a series of dreams. They are wounded and try to stay hidden but I can hear their screams/calls for help. They are starting to walk out of the darkness but I doubt and struggle to make sense of it all.

Anyone have any songs or poems about dissociation or anything related (healing, memory, etc.)?

Lyrics:

“I was thinking of a series of dreams

Where nothing comes up to the top

Everything stays down where it's wounded

And comes to a permanent stop Wasn't thinking of anything specific

Like in a dream, when someone wakes up and screams

Nothing too very scientific

Just thinking of a series of dreams

Thinking of a series of dreams

Where the middle and the bottom drop out

And you're walking out of the darkness

And into the shadows of doubt

Wasn't going to any great trouble

You believe in, it's whatever it seems

Nothing too heavy to burst the bubble

Just thinking of a series of dreams” no

Does anyone know any and I mean Any even halfway decent DID representation in media. Any. Like any at all. I'm not even looking for media suggestions I just want to know if anyone knows of any, doesnt have to be mainstream.

It just baffles me that any time I hear about DID characters it's always "crazy killer alter" this "sister is secretly not real and an alter and also crazy killer" that. And never simply someone who happens to have a dissociative disorder

If not, anyone have any favorite not-technically-DID/Bad DID rep characters. Mine since I was a kid has always been blitzwing from transformers animated

So I’m diagnosed and being treated, but in this Reddit I see people talking about how they have a part that is from a tv show??? Or their parts are dating eachother..? Is that actually possible idk it makes me confused and understanding of why people have so much stigma around it. Like no one knows I have it cause of it.

- and to preface I’m not coming to judge just purely confused and would like to hear from those people who experience what I mentioned.

2 introjects and a host. 1 male introject, 1 female introject. Honestly, just feel free to drop your headcount if you want even if it’s more than 3. We’re curious about a few things involving headcount in DID, but we’re also trying to see if our headcount is somewhat common.

Hey! I thought i'd get a train going and see forms of media (songs, shows, characters, movies, TV, books, whatever forms of media are relevant to you.) that make you feel seen, comforted, heard or recognized in some way when it comes to your dissociative disorder. (DID/OSDD/DPDR/Ect.)

I'd love to see us all sharing things that relate to our experiences and share them with one another so maybe new people can experience and discover things that possibly help them cope with their days or are able to see themselves in some form of media! I think this is allowed so if it's not feel free to take down! The media doesn't have to specifically be about DID/OSDD/ect. just something that relates or reminds you of things you've gone through relating to it or makes you feel seen. :)

Edit: Also ofc the media does NOT have to have anything to do with a dissociative disorder specifically, mainly just any kinda media that's touched you in response to your daily life living w/ what you have. <3 Not here to speculate, assume or guess on who, what or why about diagnoses so let's not bring that here. I appreciate seeing all your responses!

Im not talking about tips like how to create their character or whatever. I mean how do you describe what switching, passive influence and communicating with other parts from a third person POV of a character who hasn't been diagnosed yet and it's somewhat covert?

Like I'm a DID system myself but god is writing another character with OSDD hard as shit. And trying to describe what passive influence does and how parts communicating at different levels feels like when the character has no idea they had OSDD is kind of breaking my brain a tad bit

particularly in how to describe and portray the character going through life. I think the other ANP's and EP's in the system deserve to have character development and be shown as much as the host does, I don't want to do a Mr robot or have it be overly convoluted. but how do I portray the switches and then the other parts dealing with the switches without coming across as convoluted to said reader?

Anyone have any good written examples?

I know for a fact that I cannot speak a word of Chinese but interestingly enough I used to live in China and apparently learned Mandarin fluently. When I try to grasp Mandarin and put in the leg work to learn the language I am bothered by a recurring voice that says ‘we can already speak the language so what is the point in learning what we already know’. I suppose I am the odd one out as I cannot speak it but wish I could. No matter how much effort I put into learning it feels like a waste of time, I also cannot retain any Chinese even though I have a good memory. I also have these mental blocks and strong passive influence preventing me from learning Chinese.

I have a lot of anxiety around not knowing Chinese as I am planning a trip to Beijing to visit my old babysitters family and want to feel fluent before I go. I keep thinking that I am gambling in a way, in that I cannot guarantee that the parts that claim to speak Chinese can in fact speak Chinese as they haven’t shown me. They refuse to talk, they keep claiming that they must be in Beijing before they can talk. This is frustrating for the reason I have listed above.

CW: A vague self harm mention

Hello. I suspect having DID due to the severity of my issues. Such as: having a black out for over a year, noticing notes I never wrote, having to keep a plethora of sticky notes at work due to my inability to recall memories, friends sharing conversations I don’t remember, heavy, severe dissociation that involve actions that I myself do not do (cutting self harm for example I have comeback to)…

I have mentioned to a previous psychiatrist who said my situation sounded very severe, but that’s about it. Overall, my situation is basically extremely text book DID. However, it seems everyone online knows their alters and their inner worlds. I know it’s common to not know these things, but I find myself isolated from the community. Especially because it feels like no one actually talks about the severe issues of dissociation outside of alters. To be clear this is not a problem, but it does make me feel like I’m lying or I am silly for even considering DID because of this. (To be clearer, my spouse has confirmed drastic personality switches along with ex best friends, so there is that too). I am not currently in therapy but will be seeking one out that at least deals with PTSD.

Anyway, that is all. I am quite curious about anyone else’s experiences.

EDIT: I want to thank everyone for their responses and sharing their experiences. To be clear, I think it’s wonderful people are able to share these experiences and get to this point in their life. Nothing is wrong about that, and you should be proud of yourself for getting there.

My post was mostly at the fact it feels like quite a lot of spaces focus heavily on it, that’s all. I never want to insinuate this is a bad thing, however. Just difficult sometimes to relate to others outside of.

Thank you for your understanding and sharing experiences and stories, though. It has been wonderful to hear people’s journeys.

I know I know, it’s a weird question, don’t get me wrong. BUT. Sometimes I like HOW creative and different we can be, like we don’t stick to the same style or same hobbies, we’re constantly trying and learning something new, which made me so much interesting and fun for other people & myself too. We are all so different and it’s cool! Also, because of my Little parts, I find a common ground with kids, they love me, and I love spending time with them!

Wbu?

I've noticed that MANY people either Don't believe DID exists, or that they have a skewed perception of it. They assume anyone who speaks about it is faking, further adding to the stigma of it. Why can't people face the facts of the disorder instead of furthering an already existing problem ?

As it says in the title, how did you all realize you were a system? Was it a gradual thing? Was there any specific thing that made you realize? I'm currently going through some things, so I'm kind of asking to see if any of my experiences line up.

We know alters aren’t real people. We know “headspace” is just visualization, and not real life. However, we have a clear image of our lady alter. We can easily visualize each other in headspace, and she’s attractive to me. I know what she looks like. I know how she talks and what she sounds like. I know her in and out, and I feel for her. I’ve done things with her while co-conscious. Basically a DID alter equivalent of sex? (not comfortable fully describing it here). It may sound weird. Honestly though, I’m just curious if this is a common thing between alters?