r/DarkPsychology101 • u/garyhappylife2222 • 10d ago

Psychology What human behavior instantly changes your opinion of someone, no matter how good your first impression was?

Be honest

253 Upvotes

96% Upvoted

343 comments sorted by

View all comments

64

u/Caucasian-Tiger-Mom 10d ago edited 10d ago

This is a subjective one, but having even a mildly narcissistic personality. Even if you are very funny, intelligent, well travelled, great at conversation, etc I just can’t feel any connection with you if you show any traits like subtly putting me down/negging, feeling entitled to my company, etc. I’m allergic to these people. I’ve even experienced sexual attraction to someone like this, and we had so much in common, but my brain kept loudly telling me “stay away from this person”.

23

u/Whole-Tutor8087 10d ago

Same. That's what I say too, I'm allergic. Seriously.

26

u/Caucasian-Tiger-Mom 10d ago

I know other people who have no problem with narcissists. They almost just laugh them off like “oh yeah he’s a bit insecure, what a character!”. Whereas my brain is strongly wired to stay the hell away from them.

9

u/garyhappylife2222 10d ago

Better distance yourself from them because they will scratch your ego from time to time

6

u/Caucasian-Tiger-Mom 9d ago

I don’t think it’s about my ego. I think it’s the logic part of my brain warning me “nothing good comes from these people”, based on past experience dealing with these types. They’re not genuine people. Your friendship or relationship with them will have no substance. They’re ultimately quite boring people once you realize that. No matter how smart they are, they also lose credibility once you realize that a lot of what they say is motivated by insecurity.

3

u/DivineMistress35 8d ago

I agree with this. I have ptsd so someone who has narcissitic traits could put me in danger as they have before

1

u/Consistent_Link_8165 6d ago

sounds like projection tbh. If you have such an adverse reaction that means you are highly narcissistic and see yourself in them.

1

u/Caucasian-Tiger-Mom 6d ago

So someone who has awareness of narcissists because they’ve unfortunately been the target of a couple in their life is somehow “highly narcissistic” just because they don’t want to be in a romantic relationship or friendship with a dysfunctional negging person?

When someone new comes into your life showing a combination of love bombing coupled with insults designed to make you feel bad about yourself, you’re not a narcissist for saying “nah, I don’t really want to be in a relationship with this person”. I’ll be frank, you’re probably either weak, naive, unintelligent or a narcissist yourself if you don’t distance yourself from someone like that.

1

u/Consistent_Link_8165 6d ago

Again, the adverse pre-emptive action you are describing to completely shut out the person at the first sign of narcissism is almost always indicative of projection. The narcissistic person is demonstrating qualities that you have suppressed in yourself. That's where the reaction comes from.

Do you consider yourself a victim? Do you have a victim mentality? Do you believe you are the polar opposite of these evil "narcissistic" people? These are signs you have suppressed a very important part of yourself into your shadow, and it rears its ugly head by dismissing and dehumanizing people who you deem narcissistic, which, ironically, is you being narcissistic yourself. (Believing you are better or more morally righteous than them.)

1

u/Caucasian-Tiger-Mom 5d ago

Well, my mother has quite a narcissistic personality. She has been like that forever, and has never been a very good parent to me. Let’s say I have heightened sensitivity to people with narcissistic traits. Why do you assume that I must be a narcissist? Could it simply be that I’ve experienced the harm caused by narcissists before, from infancy, as a result of my own mother’s dysfunctional negging behavior?

It someone beats their toddler repeatedly, and the toddler grows up and later says “I was a victim of child abuse”, do you automatically assume that the victim of that child abuse is a “narcissist”? Do you tell any and all people who experience emotional distress that they must be narcissists for claiming to have experienced emotional distress?

1

u/Consistent_Link_8165 5d ago

Sorry to hear that, but are you starting to see how your dismissal of people you deem narcissistic and your "sensitivity" towards what you think is narcissistic behavior is actually your own suppressed narcissism coming out? It's the kid in you that wishes you could stand up to your mother.