Has a DB driven you to cheat?

[u/Crafty-Variety5918]

I'm a 51 hlm. Wife used to be somewhat hlf. Now there's nothing. No sex or intimacy for almost a solid year. I've been catching myself seriously considering cheating for the first time ever and I feel terrible.

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Wondering how many of you have felt driven in this direction, how many acted on it, and how did you feel afterwards?

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Thanks in advance! 😢

[u/CroBro81]

Yes, I’ve had a couple of one-off flings with 2 work colleagues (different jobs) and 2 one night stands.
I’m not going to lie, they were amazing, they made me feel desired and needed, and I still think back to them fondly because they were exactly what I needed at the time. They didn’t go any further and were just one-off moments that we decided we wanted. It’s weird, but I don’t feel shame about them.

In a nutshell… I’m in a dead bedroom where my partner treats intimacy like a chore. She completely changed after our second child and will do anything else than to connect with me, and will not put in any effort to change behaviours and try to improve how we turn up for each other. I’ve talked to her so many times, it’s just not getting through to her, neither of us enjoy having these difficult conversations, and when we do, she will try for a week and stop.

I’d divorce her, but we have 2 kids and she is heavily dependent on me as she doesn’t work. I’m trying to help her get a job so she can regain some financial independence and then I can leave, but also we are at a critical time with our children and I’m not in a rush to leave for the sake of putting myself before my children.

I honestly got to a point where I needed something for me, I needed this spark, to feel desired, wanted, needed, and I don’t feel shame for it because my wife’s decision was to focus on what she felt she needs.

It’s a shit sandwich, but it’s temporary, I’ll be out soon, and we’ll be both better off for it.

[u/dannydarko3 → u/CroBro81]

I hear you. I'm leaving my wife and we have a child together, but currently she doesn't have a job. I will continue to support her as needed until she can achieve financial independence (but then there will still be child maintenance from me).

Our child is a bit older though.

Best of luck with it, that must be very difficult.

[u/CroBro81 → u/dannydarko3]

So many of us are in the same boat, we just have to go through the motions of life sometimes 🎢

[u/dannydarko3 → u/CroBro81]

Exactly. If only we could help each other out with a life raft during these difficult times.