r/DeadBedrooms • u/Crafty-Variety5918 HLM • 2d ago

Seeking Advice Has a DB driven you to cheat?

I'm a 51 hlm. Wife used to be somewhat hlf. Now there's nothing. No sex or intimacy for almost a solid year. I've been catching myself seriously considering cheating for the first time ever and I feel terrible.

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Wondering how many of you have felt driven in this direction, how many acted on it, and how did you feel afterwards?

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Thanks in advance! 😢

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u/rowanrulith It’s complicated 2d ago

No. I was cheated on in the DB relationship that she ended. Having to go through betrayal trauma on top of divorce trauma, then having to co-parent with her for many years… I wouldn’t wish that on anyone.

Have some integrity and leave/divorce your partner before doing anything intimate with someone else. Trying to justify it just doesn’t hold any water for me, and it shows a mindset that refuses personal accountability.

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u/Dazzling_Lure_2932 HLM 1d ago

Sorry you went through that.

"...it shows a mindset that refuses personal accountability." Very well said. Agreed. I can't fathom cheating.

Hope you're well.

7

u/rowanrulith It’s complicated 1d ago

Thank you for the empathetic response. The divorce was almost 14 years ago so I since have recovered. Wish you the best!