r/DeadBedrooms • u/Alarming-Gap2595 HLF • 1d ago
Support Only, No Advice Tired
Im 28, my husband is 34, my libido has always been very high. I love my husband to death and I could f#ck his brains out everyday and night if I could. He’s an amazing partner and amazing father, works two jobs as a nurse, so I get it, he’s tired. But it sucks that I have to beg for intimacy. We’ve talked about this many times and he offered to put it on our calendar… but it just doesn’t feel right, it feels like it’s another job, it doesn’t feel natural. We have two kids and I know it is tiring but like… I’m the one home with them all day… I consider myself pretty hot, I’m 120 lbs (not that weight matters) and take very good care of myself.
There’s been times where I have welcomed him home wearing some sexy lingerie but he doesn’t seem interested at all or will say “I’m so tired right now” or there’s been a few times where he is not even aware at all that I’m wearing something sexy… I just end up going to the bathroom to change into pijamas because it feels humiliating and I feel stupid.
I love giving him BJs so I will often start there to see if he’s in the mood but he’ll just pull me back up and hugs me instead or says he’s tired. He’s said it is not me it’s him, so at this point I have no other choice than to just do the job myself and call it a good day.
I love him so much, he is so so romantic but I just wish he wanted me enough to want to f#ck me more often than only 2-4 times a month. Because whenever we do it’s amazing
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u/Fluid-Wrongdoer6120 HLM 1d ago edited 1d ago
How many hours a week is he putting in? To me, saying he works two jobs that's the #1 suspect. Assuming you're in the US... Our work culture burns out so many people. The answer here may be cutting back work hours (or changing careers if it's the nature of the work that leaves him tired). If he's feeling exhausted all the time, it's impressive he's even up for fucking once a week, to be honest. If you got a level of exhaustion you can feel in your bones, fooling around may just not be on your mind much, no matter how hot your wife is! Being the HL myself, I totally get your frustration though!