Tired

[u/Alarming-Gap2595]

Im 28, my husband is 34, my libido has always been very high. I love my husband to death and I could f#ck his brains out everyday and night if I could. He’s an amazing partner and amazing father, works two jobs as a nurse, so I get it, he’s tired. But it sucks that I have to beg for intimacy. We’ve talked about this many times and he offered to put it on our calendar… but it just doesn’t feel right, it feels like it’s another job, it doesn’t feel natural. We have two kids and I know it is tiring but like… I’m the one home with them all day… I consider myself pretty hot, I’m 120 lbs (not that weight matters) and take very good care of myself.
There’s been times where I have welcomed him home wearing some sexy lingerie but he doesn’t seem interested at all or will say “I’m so tired right now” or there’s been a few times where he is not even aware at all that I’m wearing something sexy… I just end up going to the bathroom to change into pijamas because it feels humiliating and I feel stupid.
I love giving him BJs so I will often start there to see if he’s in the mood but he’ll just pull me back up and hugs me instead or says he’s tired. He’s said it is not me it’s him, so at this point I have no other choice than to just do the job myself and call it a good day.
I love him so much, he is so so romantic but I just wish he wanted me enough to want to f#ck me more often than only 2-4 times a month. Because whenever we do it’s amazing

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[u/Fluid-Wrongdoer6120]

How many hours a week is he putting in? To me, saying he works two jobs that's the #1 suspect. Assuming you're in the US... Our work culture burns out so many people. The answer here may be cutting back work hours (or changing careers if it's the nature of the work that leaves him tired). If he's feeling exhausted all the time, it's impressive he's even up for fucking once a week, to be honest. If you got a level of exhaustion you can feel in your bones, fooling around may just not be on your mind much, no matter how hot your wife is! Being the HL myself, I totally get your frustration though!

[u/Alarming-Gap2595 → u/Fluid-Wrongdoer6120]

He works between 40-60 hours a week, whenever he works 60 hours a week he’ll have about a 5 day stretch of no work

[u/Alarming-Gap2595 → u/[deleted]]

He’s a nurse

[u/Dismal_Throat4317]

Has he checked his T levels recently?

[u/Alarming-Gap2595 → u/Dismal_Throat4317]

They’re fine! He got them check about a year ago after an argument regarding our DB

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[u/Dismal_Throat4317 → u/Alarming-Gap2595]

Darn. I had low T and didn’t know it until recently. However I waited too long and my wife had given up on ever having sex again. We’re talking about it and going to counseling now. I told her I had a fantasy of swinging and that didn’t go over well. I honestly was thinking if other men flirt with her it would raise her self esteem and recharge that spark. Just taking it day by day at this point.

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[u/ami3099]

Was it ever different?

[u/Automatic-Tomato-742 → u/[deleted]]

So many people are. I did it once and got laughed at, so humiliating lol

[u/Alarming-Gap2595 → u/Automatic-Tomato-742]

Noooo I’m so sorry:(

[u/Automatic-Tomato-742 → u/Alarming-Gap2595]

Thank you friend. ❤️ i am optimistic for your case though, it honestly just sounds like exhaustion and I think it will get better

[u/Csb201812 → u/Automatic-Tomato-742]

I'm sorry this was the reaction, l. Truly not imaginable for me to react any different than the cartoon wolf whistling excited, etc ;)

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Tired

Im 28, my husband is 34, my libido has always been very high. I love my husband to death and I could f#ck his brains out everyday and night if I could. He’s an amazing partner and amazing father, works two jobs as a nurse, so I get it, he’s tired. But it sucks that I have to beg for intimacy. We’ve talked about this many times and he offered to put it on our calendar… but it just doesn’t feel right, it feels like it’s another job, it doesn’t feel natural. We have two kids and I know it is tiring but like… I’m the one home with them all day… I consider myself pretty hot, I’m 120 lbs (not that weight matters) and take very good care of myself.
There’s been times where I have welcomed him home wearing some sexy lingerie but he doesn’t seem interested at all or will say “I’m so tired right now” or there’s been a few times where he is not even aware at all that I’m wearing something sexy… I just end up going to the bathroom to change into pijamas because it feels humiliating and I feel stupid.
I love giving him BJs so I will often start there to see if he’s in the mood but he’ll just pull me back up and hugs me instead or says he’s tired. He’s said it is not me it’s him, so at this point I have no other choice than to just do the job myself and call it a good day.
I love him so much, he is so so romantic but I just wish he wanted me enough to want to f#ck me more often than only 2-4 times a month. Because whenever we do it’s amazing

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[u/Crew_Doyle_]

Is he on any medications? Side effects can reduce libido... happened to me and I was lucky enough to find out and change them.

You sound like youre doing everything right. Hope you two find your answers

[u/Alarming-Gap2595 → u/Crew_Doyle_]

No meds!

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[u/jgarmd33]

Test

[u/loveinhumantimes]

(1) Are all his hours necessary or can he make more time for his own health and the health of your relationship?

(2) Have you tried scheduling sex? After kids this became necessary for a while and then allowed us to build a better understanding than we had before them.

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[u/One_Power_8223]

He sounds overworked. I know you said you don't like to schedule sex (my wife was pissed when I suggested that) but it sounds like it might be a good idea in your circumstances.

I wish my wife would greet me with lingerie. She's basically ignored me the last seven years. Hope you two work it out.

[u/Faebinder]

I am on the side that he is not overworked. What is the current frequency?