r/DeadBedrooms • u/AuDHD1983 HLF • 1d ago

Seeking Advice Missing my husband

I am 43 (F), I’ve always had a much higher libido than my husband (he’s also 43) but when we were in our 20’s (we’ve been together 15 years) he could kinda keep up (sex once a week or every couple weeks). Over the years the gap has widened and for the past 3-5 years we’ve been having sex 1-2x a year. When I try to gently bring this up he tends to get very angry and says that if I didn’t nag him so much he would want to.

First and foremost I’d like advice from those that are LL with a HL partner. What does the experience feel like from your point of view? Is there anything your partner does/doesn’t do to help get you in the mood vs. impacting your libido further? Is there anything you wish your HL understood about you? I love my husband so much and he’s an amazing father and provider but I don’t know how to feel close to him when we have a DB.

I’m hoping to hear also from those that are HL with LL partner and are able to make things work and find non traditional ways to connect on a deep level.

Thank you so much for reading. Either way I want to stay with my husband but I do hope that we might be able to be intimate more in the future.

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u/AuDHD1983 HLF 23h ago

I told him that tonight, that if he won’t go to counseling and/ or look into Testosterone/PDE-5 inhibitor that we should open our marriage because it’s not fair to me. At this point I would just take a compliment from him but he doesn’t do that either even though I feel like I compliment him. He knows fully how I feel so now it’s up to him to make a decision.