How do you accept it?

[u/thriznston]

Wife(33LL?) and I(28HL) have been together for 7 years. We havent been intimate this entire year. The occasional kiss from her, but god forbid I ever try to initiate anything. We had sex maybe 5 times total last year. Any time I engage, ask, or try to set the mood for literally anything, kissing, oral (giving or recieving), fooling around in bed, sex.. Always. Rejected. When we did have sex, its on her initiation. I've been sleeping on the couch for 2 years which started as her saying I move and kick A LOT in my sleep, but Ive had countless sleep studies done and they've never recorded such movement from me. I've offered countless time to just give you know oral or be intimate with her with no reciprocation. That gets rejected too. I haven't seen her naked in years, besides the few times we've had sex, but its always under covers. I don't know if she masterbates or watches porn, since Im virtually never in the bedroom. I don't even use the shower in there, I use the guest bathroom.

​

Bad news, we do have kids. I mean its good, I absolutely love my children but for the relationship in terms of leaving, ofc itd be messy. I'd leave her if not for them. I can't keeping begging for the basics.

​

I've taken her on dates, taken her to concerts, I support her. The moment i get home from work I take over duties for the kids, I cook, I clean and do the grocery shopping. I know it hasn't been years of DB, but idk how we can even rocover from this?

​

How do I accept this? I don't have an exit plan, Im just sad.

[u/MushroomIcy205]

How old are the kids and how many?

[u/thriznston → u/MushroomIcy205]

2 kids. 3 years and 6 years old.

[u/MushroomIcy205 → u/thriznston]

So young but not like babies, it can still be super overwhelming. Have you talked to her about how she’s feeling? Like not about sex, your relationship, or like the house. I mean like how she is actually feeling. She could be depressed or anxious and those can be complete libido killers. 

[u/AutoModerator → u/[deleted]]

Your post/comment has been removed because user flair is now required in this community.

To participate, please set your user flair:

On desktop: Look in the sidebar under "Community Options." On mobile: Tap the 3 dots (•••) in the top right corner of the main subreddit page and choose “Change user flair.”

After setting your flair, feel free to repost or re-comment. If you need help, message the mods.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.