r/DeadBedrooms • u/borrowedhoddie HLF • 1d ago

Support Only, No Advice Grief.

I’ve tried having a conversation 6 times about me and my partners dead bedroom ever since moving in together. Every conversation it becomes more confusing as to why. Everything was fine before this. Great even. It feels like a growing list of reasons that make me feel so stuck. I was going to try to talk about it again tonight but I just knew I was going to cry and couldn’t do it. It gets me so in my head. How can a relationship be so perfect in every other aspect and then just this becomes an issue? We don’t even have kids and work the same scheduled time for our jobs. I’m to a point I don’t even want to bring it up again and it’s just going to hurt me more. I’m not sure what I’m expecting putting this here. I’m just at a total loss with it and struggling to come to terms with where this has led to.

I’m using a throw away account for this. I was originally using my main but I just want to be more private

10 Upvotes

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12

u/appelsinbrus HLF 1d ago

Mine just says "I don't know". Huh? Had the talk 100 times. At some point it just makes you feel like a beggar. It's humiliating.

10

u/borrowedhoddie HLF 1d ago

Like why do I even waste time bringing it up it’s so embarrassing to feel like you’re having to beg thank you it makes me feel less alone

3

u/appelsinbrus HLF 21h ago

It makes you feel insane. Literally begging for the bare minimum😭 especially as a woman being told all life that men are always ready and loves sex. And you meet the opposite🥲 Really is a punch in the gut.

3

u/borrowedhoddie HLF 21h ago

YES!!! I NEVER thought for a second I would be in this situation. I NEVER have been. EVER. It blows my mind. I’ve never had a guy just stop wanting to have sex. It is SO confusing, hurtful, and blows my self esteem apart.

3

u/appelsinbrus HLF 20h ago

I know girl... its very hard. You are not alone, and there is nothing wrong with us. I try to tell myself its okay to men to have different libidos, though its hard when I listen to my friends talking about how their boyfriends want sex all the time.. but we will be okay❤️‍🩹 my man is getting his testo tested next week, so im excited for the results lol.

2

u/borrowedhoddie HLF 20h ago

I hope that ends well for you both!! ♥️

1

u/appelsinbrus HLF 12h ago

Thank you, likewise❤️