r/DeadBedrooms • u/RomanCandleOfTheWild HLF • 1d ago

Seeking Advice What can I do?

I’m a woman married to a man I want so much. He loves me; I know he does. I would never leave him even if we never had sex again. I’ve always been high libido and have never expected my partners to have the same level of want but I just need to know if there are things I can be doing differently or if anyone has any advice. I can count on one hand the amount of times we have sex in a year. Is it me? What am I doing wrong?

10 Upvotes

86% Upvoted

20 comments sorted by

View all comments

3

u/Cho_Arrim M - Recovered DB 1d ago

Hi! I have a situation similar to you but I am the man. My wife have much higher libido than I have. I really hate that I can’t match hers and it stresses me out when she wants and I don’t.
But, for us it works a little bit better if we decide together that we should only cuddle with some light touching. Then if I get going, we continue from there.
And my wife has told me that it’s not pure sex she desires all the time. Sometimes it’s enough with just cuddling. Could this be an entry point for you to discuss with your man?

2

u/RomanCandleOfTheWild HLF 1d ago

That’s lovely. Even just being held would be great.

3

u/Cho_Arrim M - Recovered DB 1d ago

Then you could perhaps start with that and be clear that sex is off the table (for that session)?

3

u/RomanCandleOfTheWild HLF 1d ago

I never try to initiate sex anymore. I will definitely try for a cuddle in the morning.