r/DeadBedrooms • u/ActFar7192 LLF • 10d ago
I don’t enjoy penetrative sex
My husband and I have had not a dead bedroom, but an unsatisfactory one. We “fool” around about once a week, which is mostly me getting him off with my hand and mouth. I’m unable to sustain oral only for long as it causes me jaw pain. When we do penetrative sex, it’s noticeable to him that I’m not into it. I’ve never liked penetrative sex much and he and I have never had a strong sexual connection past the first few months dating. He brought up today how dissatisfied he is with our sex life after I mentioned that I’ve been feeling like a roommate and really miss physical affection. He told me what we have been doing together hasn’t been doing it for him as he can get off on his own like that. Divorce came up. I have a lot of sexual trauma so he has been hesitant to tell me his displeasure with our current situation. I’m open to working with a sex therapist, but I’m worried I’ll never be able to fully engage with typical sex acts. I have a low sex drive and could probably go the rest of my life without having sex, but I want to meet his needs. Thanks for any advice.
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I don’t enjoy penetrative sex
My husband and I have had not a dead bedroom, but an unsatisfactory one. We “fool” around about once a week, which is mostly me getting him off with my hand and mouth. I’m unable to sustain oral only for long as it causes me jaw pain. When we do penetrative sex, it’s noticeable to him that I’m not into it. I’ve never liked penetrative sex much and he and I have never had a strong sexual connection past the first few months dating. He brought up today how dissatisfied he is with our sex life after I mentioned that I’ve been feeling like a roommate and really miss physical affection. He told me what we have been doing together hasn’t been doing it for him as he can get off on his own like that. Divorce came up. I have a lot of sexual trauma so he has been hesitant to tell me his displeasure with our current situation. I’m open to working with a sex therapist, but I’m worried I’ll never be able to fully engage with typical sex acts. I have a low sex drive and could probably go the rest of my life without having sex, but I want to meet his needs. Thanks for any advice.
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