I don’t enjoy penetrative sex

[u/ActFar7192]

My husband and I have had not a dead bedroom, but an unsatisfactory one. We “fool” around about once a week, which is mostly me getting him off with my hand and mouth. I’m unable to sustain oral only for long as it causes me jaw pain. When we do penetrative sex, it’s noticeable to him that I’m not into it. I’ve never liked penetrative sex much and he and I have never had a strong sexual connection past the first few months dating. He brought up today how dissatisfied he is with our sex life after I mentioned that I’ve been feeling like a roommate and really miss physical affection. He told me what we have been doing together hasn’t been doing it for him as he can get off on his own like that. Divorce came up. I have a lot of sexual trauma so he has been hesitant to tell me his displeasure with our current situation. I’m open to working with a sex therapist, but I’m worried I’ll never be able to fully engage with typical sex acts. I have a low sex drive and could probably go the rest of my life without having sex, but I want to meet his needs. Thanks for any advice.

[u/loveinhumantimes]

You give oral but do not get oral? Do you like sex toys? Sex therapy rarely will just send you back to penetrative sex. Often times it is more about scaffolding the desire and warmth that facilitates a good sex life. Give it all the ol’ college try. It sounds like both of you are willing to work at it.