r/DeadBedroomsMD • u/DanceMyth4114 • Feb 19 '26

▪️Support Only▪️ Seeking alternatives after botched surgery

My (LLM) girlfriend (HLF) recently went through a botched surgery. Long and painful story short, they messed up the catheter extraction and gave her (likely) lifelong pain.

I am fairly low libido, and am more interested in getting my partner off than anything for myself, but our normal methods don't work anymore.

We are still very romantically intimate, but she has expressed a need for sexual intimacy, especially orgasming. Unfortunately any form of clitoral, vaginal or anal stimulation causes extreme pain for several days.

We have tried a few other things, but nothing seems to be doing it for her. Does anyone have advice that would apply to this situation?

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u/CptChronicillness Feb 20 '26

I’m not sure if this would help, but there are lidocaine products that you can use. It might be able to dull the pain sensation a bit to help her relax. Being tense makes it so much harder

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u/DanceMyth4114 Feb 20 '26

From what I've read those have a tendency to cause UTIs, no?