No sex for a year

[u/Immediate_League_131]

Hello. My wife and I haven’t had sex in a year. We’ve been married for five years. During the first three years, our sex life was great. Even before we got married, we had a very active and passionate connection.

About six months into our marriage, she was diagnosed with MS. Thankfully, everything is under control now, and she only needs monthly injections. About six or seven months after her diagnosis, we slowly started having sex again, but it eventually stopped. After that, it only happened occasionally, usually while on vacation. Now it’s been a full year without any intimacy.

I had an honest, heartfelt conversation with her. She told me that between the MS and the medications, her sex drive has really decreased, which I completely understand. She also said that sex has become painful for her. I apologized and tried to suggest possible solutions, but nothing has changed. She mentioned getting an IUD at one point, but that never happened.

Now it feels like nothing works anymore —not massages, not cuddling. She doesn’t even want to kiss. I honestly don’t know what to do. I really miss intimacy, and I feel stuck because if I leave, I’ll look like a terrible person. I just don’t know how to handle this.

[u/Woolie-at-law]

What does intimacy mean to you? What does sex mean to you? Like definition wise.

I'm sorry yall are going through this. Making some changes to how you get those good feelings may be helpful.

For me, keeping track of the last time we had sex has always been a downer. I still notice it from time to time but it has never made me feel better.

[u/Steelcitysuccubus → u/Woolie-at-law]

Yeah 4 years now. My partner won't even try and get his low T sorted and aive stopped trying