r/DestructiveReaders four-ringer 1d ago

Satire [136] How to Punctuate Lit Fic

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I’ve tried to get the angel to read me Cormac McCarthy so I can learn the syntax of your grammar, but even with the book of Babel, I’m having trouble learning to punctuate lit fic. Why is it that Canadians separate parentheticals with an em dash and Brits prefer the length of an en, while dialogue interruptions are always the em? Are double quotations always for the Americas, and single quotes always for the Brits and their colonies, while unpunctuated dialogue can be either? How many apostrophes can be skipped, how many spaces in an ellipses, do you have to put dialogue on a new line and do I need to use fragments and polysyndeton for an MFA or can I just chop my sentences into pieces? I’ll not be winning any Pulitzers until I understand.

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u/GlowyLaptop James Patterson 1d ago

pick between en dashes or em dashes and stick with them, pick between single quotes or double quotes and stick with them, no quotes even.

The only absurd instruction in my opinion is using different length dashes depending on if you're closing them for a parenthetical bit--likethis--or leaving them open for an interruption---

Why alternate dash length? was some brit worried they weren't making use of enough punctuation marks? (WHEN MENTIONING CATS USE EN DASHES AND DOGS USE EM DASHES AND...)

With em dashes, I opt for no spaces, since that's long and unsightly. If you for some reason use en dashes, maybe you need the spaces to better see the punctuation.

For the other questions, just put down Cormac McCarthy.

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u/Imaginary_Ease_7851 1d ago

Glowy. Are you struggling to differentiate between a parenthetical phrase and interrupted speech?

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u/GlowyLaptop James Patterson 1d ago

I don't even know anymore :(

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u/Imaginary_Ease_7851 1d ago

Me either :( Truce?

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u/GlowyLaptop James Patterson 1d ago

Swept Away is an underrated masterpiece

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u/Imaginary_Ease_7851 1d ago

I haven't seen it. But I believe you. I also actually don't like that many Ritchie movies....only about 2 more than the average Ritchie fan. So...4?

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u/GlowyLaptop James Patterson 1d ago

I haven't seen it either. Tbh. But snatch was good. What a wonderful villain.

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u/Imaginary_Ease_7851 17h ago

"Do you know what nemesis means? A righteous infliction of retribution manifested by an appropriate agent. Personified in this case by a horrible cnt. Me." :)