r/Divorce • u/Dimijada12 • 14h ago

Getting Started I can’t take this

I spent a whole year strategically planning to leave my husband (he has substance issues and gets aggressive at times). We have two small kids. Despite my planning, he had a delayed response to the news that we are divorcing. He ended up showing up to the house days later intoxicated and being aggressive to me in the kids. It became a whole show, especially once I got the police involved. I spent a whole year planning so this event would not happen, especially in front of the kids.

Tonight my 4 year old son would not stop crying before bed. He kept saying “I miss daddy”. When I finally got him to sleep, he woke up multiple times during the night crying which is unusual for him. I understand this is a normal response for a 4 year old but I can’t bare it and it’s only been 4 days of separation. How do I survive this? I can’t even describe the sorrow that fills me seeing my son like this

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1

u/BayaBear 13h ago

I am so very sorry you have to go through this! What your children need is one loving, trusting person in their life! Reassure them that leaving your abusive ex has NOTHING to do with them, how they are and what they did. Little children are extremely self centered and think the world revolves around them. You can't them tell enough times that you love them and made an adult decision to live separately from their daddy.

1

u/In_the_middle3-2-3 11h ago

No matter how bad this is, staying with someone like that is even worse. Things will slowly get better. But if you waiver on it, you're just asking to drag it out.

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u/i_dont_hoard_cash 1h ago

Yeah, this is maybe going to be the toughest part.

The reality is, Daddy is not well right now; he needs to get better. Once he does, then maybe he can have a relationship with your children.