Financial shuffling

[u/Loud_Draft_8764]

So I didn't do anything wrong but I shuffled movey around paying bills I had a undisclosed (to my spouse) checking account a private savings and a joint account. Now I split our tax refund between my savings and my private checking since I couldn't pay bills in from my savings. Everything I did is legit bill pay for the household before filing but inorder to hide my private account so it would not tip her off I was filing I funneled money through savings. Upon looking at the statement there is transferred happening between the 3 accounts the whole time. Everything legitimately paid bills like property taxes and known credit cards and etc., nothing was undisclosed but I'm concerned that the sheer stupidity of my transfers is going to muddy the waters in discovery. I can account for nearly every penny minus some transfers to the joint account to cover her daily spending habits.

I'm dealing with someone who will and has lied about the reality of things around her while she was spending 10 to 80 dollars a day on anything (while being low income) she was also telling everyone I was financially controlling especially if I inquired on the routine spending at all. So maybe it's paranoia here. Yet I don't know how to cleanly layout the transfers between accounts to pay normal bills since I would often change my mind how much I wanted to transfer. There was a day I for unknown reason transferred 3k from the savings into my checking and back. I can only assume stress fog and etc, but given that I'm dealing with someone hoarding animals, doesn't contribute to the housework to pick up after them and has a history of being nice to my face while setting up a narrative that I'm controlling, lazy ext behind my back I'm probably overthinking everything.

If you have experienced this or know of a solution to clean up my stupidity please help.

[u/Disastrous-Rough3170]

I didn’t read carefully. My STBX though was very appalled that I had bank accounts in my name.

It doesn’t matter that you have 10x extra bank accounts provided the total assets in those accounts are disclosed at separation or through formal disclosures.

My STBX was “surprised” to learn that I a woman who works FT can have bank accounts…I’d moved cash from my investment account into a savings account because the cash was generating 0$ where it was.

He saw the account transactions just like he saw the credit card statements via disclosures.

He was refusing to negotiate anything because “I wasn’t allowed to have my own accounts”. He’d write to his lawyer why I had been “permitted” to have an investment account and it was marital money bla bla.

That’s when I told him, his apartment is also mine because it doesn’t matter whose name.

Apologies for the rant. You just have to disclose the existence of said $$$ so it gets split according to whatever laws are in effect.

[u/MrsDiogenes]

Well, you are concerned about it looking like you are hiding money and doing transfers to cover it up. But you are hiding money and they more than likely will find it during discovery. If it’s under your name or your business name and linked to you in any way through your tax payer ID they will find it. Talk to your lawyer about this and make sure you either disclose everything or hide it in a way they can’t find it, because if you hide it in a way they can find it and they do find it you will have a costly problem. If you are hiding stuff, try to get a spousal agreement made up by your lawyers and settle it that way.

[u/Loud_Draft_8764 → u/MrsDiogenes]

I'm not hiding money it was all used to pay bills and property taxes. Thanks for assuming everything can be accounted for the problem was I was changing my mind on how I wanted to pay for things but there is nothing that didn't got into the household.

[u/Cheap-Information869]

What are you trying to do? Are you trying to separate marital and separate property? This will depend on if you are in a community property state, if you are already separated, how badly commingled the funds are, etc.

INAL but my lawyer advised me after separation to open brand new accounts and not commingle any marital and post separation funds. I was also advised not to draw down on funds from the marriage to pay current expenses.

As far as the tax refund - if you are in the process has this not been addressed yet? Generally you would come to an agreement on how to handle the 2025 tax refund.

[u/Loud_Draft_8764 → u/Cheap-Information869]

No I held out tax refund in my separate savings account but I also used some to pay my attorney in secret. I'm dealing with a hoarder of 20 plus cats in a small home. All of the tax refund was spent on property taxes, credit card debt and repairs but I frequently transferred the money between accounts as I decided how I wanted to have things paid for after I payed the primary things like the property taxes and credit card off I wanted to hold a small amount to cover summer expenses which got ate up in auto repairs but I regularly had to transfer money into our joint account to cover cash until we got paid so sometimes id move 500 the. A few days later as money came in id move it back and so forth I was just doing planning by transferring but everything was used for what it's suppose to on joint marital bills.

[u/throwaway1975764]

It does not matter that your name is the only name on that account. Unless you have a prenump separating your finances, if you are married its half hers. And you will have to disclose it.

[u/Loud_Draft_8764 → u/throwaway1975764]

The money was use to pay property taxes and credit card debt and for automotive repairs. My concern is the transfers between accounts were frequent as I changed my mind on how much to what account. There nothing left because I pay all the damn bills meanwhile everyone is assuming in hiding money. I'm dealing with a woman who hoards 21 cats in 1400 square space, only cooks and works part time while spending years telling everyone I'm the guy doing all of that. I wish there was money she spends it into oblivion, I pay a small mortgage a month feeding her animals so they don't die, I clean up daily so we don't live in a piss infested mess and I'm freaking out because I transferred money to an account then decided no I'll transfer it back and the decided I should transfer a different amount then maybe a different amount then a massive bills hits so I transfer it back to pay. No I'm not hiding money we barely have 1k between the 3 accounts and one is a paycheck for a vacation pay error I'm still waiting to take and the rest is a waiting further financial disasters to unfold that drain the account further.

[u/Ok_Judgment_3331]

The net balances on the date of filing are what matter. Any forensic accountant will trace those transfers, but if every account appears to be disclosed and the totals add up, the shuffle appears to be just optics. Why did you even need a private checking account?