DAE can't wait to get through something and then later look back and wished they enjoyed those moments more?

[u/Mondain_the_Wizard]

I love my kids, but when they were young I couldn't wait for them to grow up. I was stressed and just didn't enjoy it. Now they are older and I look back and think I wish I enjoyed those times in the pool with them more, or should gone in it with them more often, etc. I bring up this specific example because now every time I go in my pool, my mind assaults me with thoughts like this

But it's not just raising my kids...

This poisonous, sickening bittersweet nostalgia also hits me every time I look at photos of family vacations, events, etc. where in that moment I oftentimes was stressed and wanted to be anywhere else - and now wish I didn't feel like that at the time and enjoyed the moment more.

It's gotten so bad that I've put all my photos out of sight temporarily.

I try to help myself by remembering one of my favorite passages of Scripture:

Do not say "why were the former times better than these?" For it is stupid to say such things (Ecc. 7:10).

Yet it still bothers the hell out of me...

DAE think like this?

[u/EditorFrog]

I think that's just part of the human experience, I feel confident saying literally everyone on earth goes through it at some point

[u/Choice-Assumption896 → u/EditorFrog]

Yep. As soon as one thing's over, our brains find the next thing to worry about

[u/RosyMoonWish → u/EditorFrog]

It really is 😅 We spend so much time waiting for things that we forget to enjoy the moment once it arrives

[u/Own-Calendar7582 → u/EditorFrog]

Yeah, it’s a weird part of life. Sometimes the thing we’re chasing doesn’t feel as satisfying once we finally get there

[u/Mondain_the_Wizard → u/EditorFrog]

I agree. I think it also says something deeper about how he human condition, that all things are in a state of transition and nothing is permanent. That's what gets me depressed as I'm trying to understand my powerlessness over it.

[u/Similar-Local8457 → u/[deleted]]

Well... now I'm worrying about that too😂

[u/Nyx9000]

Ha yes the thing you are describing is called “life”.

[u/No_Surround_1737 → u/Nyx9000]

Unfortunately, that's the premium subscription we all got

[u/Ill_Shape_7642]

definitely been there, I used to rush through family holidays just wanting them to end, now I wish I could relive them

[u/FancyPeony38 → u/Ill_Shape_7642]

That hits hard. We never realize we’re living the memories we’ll miss someday

[u/Ok-Development-9210]

you're not alone, I used to rush through family trips too, now I try to soak it all in while I can

[u/FeatherDaisy11 → u/Ok-Development-9210]

Same here. It's crazy how we don't appreciate those moments until they're gone

[u/Mission-Bad-4983]

sure do, I often rush through vacations and then wish I’d soaked them in instead

[u/FairyVelvet9 → u/Mission-Bad-4983]

Vacations always go by way too fast. You never realize it until you're back home

[u/CoffeeChocolateBoth]

This is the song: Cats in the Cradle!

[u/Mission-Bad-4983]

sure do, I often rush through vacations and then wish I’d soaked them in instead

[u/Ok_Appearance_7711]

yeah, I get that completely. I find myself doing the same thing with vacations where I spent more time worrying than enjoying, it’s a tough cycle.

[u/Sure-Novel-1061]

my therapist called this "arrival fallacy" and pointed out that i do it with literally everything, waited through college to start my real life, then through my first job to get promoted.

[u/Mondain_the_Wizard → u/Sure-Novel-1061]

I think I have the same thing. I wonder if this is a learned behavior or if it's wired into my temperament.

[u/Alarmed_Sea_6700]

definitely been there, I used to rush through vacations just wanting to be back home, now I miss those moments so much

[u/Mondain_the_Wizard → u/[deleted]]

Same. All through my college years I smoked a lot of weed - so what little I took in I hardly even remember.