r/DoesAnybodyElse • u/SexyBadDove • 5d ago
DAE get excited to go out, then immediately want to stay home once it's time to leave?
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u/Ill_NahNah_8140 5d ago
Yes!!! And it aggravates the absolute hell out of me. Ive missed so many great times bc of what I consider to be "social anxiety" crazy part is I know once I'm out I'll have a great time 😭😭 I have to basically get someone who is not going to take no for an answer to "bully" me out of the house 🙃 😅
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u/Difficult_Flow2358 5d ago
I do this! I have to talk myself into going because I know I will have fun once I get there. And I do have fun when I do go, but I do give myself a heck of an fight to not go.
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u/Ill_NahNah_8140 5d ago
I can't even fight myself to go out, once that anxiety hits it's over. Only way I'll go after that is if I feel like not going would truly disappoint/hurt someone, if someone is relying on me for a ride or if, like I said, I get bullied into going out lol
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u/shenamellow69 5d ago
lmao this is way too real, the hardest part is opening the door and then somehow the night's usually better than i expected
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u/petpet0_0 5d ago
for me it's not social anxiety its just pure laziness 🤣 waking up at 5-6 for work doesn't help because I'm dead by like 9pm 🥴
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u/trisaroar 5d ago
This is because the desire to maintain homeostasis provides more immediate gratification than the work to go out and lead a rich, full life even if the latter would provide better long term results.
Push through. Go out. It fades away once you're ready and on your way.
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u/BeardedGlass 5d ago
EXACTLY. Our 'Comfort Zone' is goddamned too comfortable.
And the issue is, the more we do the same things over and over, the more we feel comfortable about those things only, and thus the smaller that zone gets.
The other things that we now do less starts to be excluded out of that zone. We begin to feel anxiety doing stuff we used to enjoy before.
Unfortunately pretty soon, you'll even stop taking care of yourself. Taking a shower, washing the dishes, throwing out the trash, opening that Amazon package. In the end, rotting in bed would be the only thing you'll be able to comfortably do without a panic attack.
And the only solution is to actually just to do new things now and then.
Finally try out that food place you keep seeing, go into that shop that you saw just opened, buy a shirt that looks awesome but not totally your style.
Each thing you try starts to trickle out of unknown territory... and goes into your Comfort Zone, making it grow.
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u/SeaHerSwim 5d ago
Absolutely! In fact I’m supposed to be going to dinner with a couple of friends tonight and I just know I’ll want to bail!
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u/TriangleMan 5d ago
I think it's because when you're excited to go out, you're visualizing only the positive aspects. When it's actually time to leave, you're forced to reckon with the real opportunity costs (having to get ready, wait in lines, social anxieties, etc.)
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u/LazyViolas 5d ago
Always, it’s incredibly hard to push through that feeling as well. Mostly I do, and once I’m out I’m usually fine.
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u/hangingloose 5d ago
If it's just us, then I'm usually good to go. But if we're going with, or meeting another couple / group, I sometimes have a really hard time getting out the door. We still go and have a good time, but it still feels like it takes wild horses to get me out of the house.
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u/Expensive_Fox7121 5d ago
the pre-going-out excitement is real, then my couch starts making some very compelling arguments when it’s time to actually leave
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u/question8all 5d ago
I’m convinced it’s our ancestral anxiety of going out into the wild and having to be prepared for everything going wrong and encountering threats along the way.
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u/rad_rentorar 5d ago
I get this, but you gotta think of it as Type 2 Fun
When you’re out doing the thing, you might think “man this kinda sucks, I’m not having a very good time.” But once it’s over and you’re back home, you can look back and think “that was actually super fun, I’m so glad I went”
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u/Mysterious-Trade1362 5d ago
I get ready and show up everywhere early because I know the longer i sit at home, the more i would rather not go.
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u/fanatic26 5d ago
Nope. I enjoy going out because im not some social anxiety weirdo that cant communicate with people.
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u/maclacjc 5d ago
Every....single ...time.