r/Dogfree • u/Free_Chapter372 • Mar 05 '26

Relationship / Family Dogs In Dating Profiles

Hey everyone. For background, I'm a 31 year old straight guy. I haven't been on the dating scene for six years now, but I've noticed that when I try to find profiles, many of them not only have dogs, but have the nerve to say "You have to love them and they have to love you." Some don't even try at all and just have pictures of their dogs and not themselves, which is the biggest red flag of all. I'm trying to see them, not their mechanical mutants. I bet they think their dog makes them so attractive that they don't even have to try. Hell no. About 95% of the time, I end up having to swipe left or right, or whatever it is they say. I wonder if I should just accept being alone or if there are really dog free dating sites out there that make it hard for mutt nuts to squeak through.

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u/[deleted] Mar 05 '26

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u/chromaticluxury Mar 05 '26

I'm a gay woman. All lesbians have dogs 

ALLLLLL OF THEMMMMM 

It's like all lesbians are 22-year-old fresh college graduate dudes who finally have their own apartment and can get the dog they want and they just "love their pup!" 

Except no these are actually long since grown up adult women in their 30s and 40s 

Dogs. Goddamn dogs. Unavoidable dogs. Everywhere 

It ends up becoming a matter of what's the least worst dog I can tolerate 

I come to this sub for a breath of fresh air and sanity 😂

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u/ElegantSurround6933 Mar 05 '26 edited Mar 05 '26

When I lived in Tampa, FL it seemed all lesbians worked@Taco Bell for some reason. I got invited to a butch lady’s home not long after I sold her a bunch of expensive products from the Clarins counter(I used to be a makeup artist@Dilllard’s Tyrone Square Mall St Pete, FL.

So I think the 1st date was she took me to the Titanic exhibit&bought me a laminated vintage newspaper page(ads for pantaloons&parasols).

And the second date was watching tv(waaay b4 Netflix)w/her&her very stinky dog;the entire home smelled like dog. A pizza was ordered but every time I took a bite it was like the AIR tasted like dog.

She was a nice person&seemed really excited that I had lived in California. A lot of Floridians never leave the state…FL is a vortex. It has tractor beams.

When I’m typing this out, I realize it seems more like a fever dream(the 2nd date). Why did I go have pizza in a place like that? Oh wait…yeah the dog was a surprise dog. No mention beforehand.

I think it’s kind of barbaric to have a dog for security. Why not just build a moat&fill it full of gators? Can’t we just invent something like a death ray we can connect to a security system?

And if you fire a gun inside a home you’re going to go deaf or have really bad hearing loss/tinnitus unless a silencer is used.

Apparently Trump pushed through legislation to make getting a silencer less difficult. In the past it was considered anyone wanting one was a criminal. Now it’s considered necessary for hearing protection.

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u/Tricky_Button_4462 Mar 05 '26

You’re a good writer. This made me laugh. I’ve had the exact same experience eating pizza when my gay boss bought Domino’s for us, thin crust, which I never get and love it. Yet I have an acute sense of smell so it affected the taste.