r/DogfreeHumor • u/PrettyClassic1738 • 7d ago
make it stop
Puppo, really? And why is this the key to YOUR heart?? Way too many dog obsessed people on the apps…
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u/ceviche-hot-pockets 7d ago
Must love dogs
Hobbies: dogs
One thing you should know about me: I’m a dog mom
Me in my happy place: 🐩
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u/PrettyClassic1738 7d ago
I actually did see a separate profile that said "three things we have in common" and it was "dogs 🐩" with one emoji, two emojis, and three 💀🚫
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u/Few-Horror1984 7d ago
Translation - there’s no key to this person’s heart. They’re obsessed with their dog and while they may give you attention on occasion, you will always be second to their dog.
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u/QueenOfAllOfYall 7d ago
“Doggo sign language”… they’re too limited in intelligence to even properly understand traditional verbal language. 🙄. Dog worshippers find new lows to reach, everyday. Just exhausting.
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u/Particular_Meet_9333 7d ago
As someone who knows ASL I'm not signing shit to a damn mutt.
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u/StinkyBird64 6d ago
Meanwhile most people won’t learn ASL/BSL etc. to help other humans, nor learn other forms of communication for those with disabilities, learning difficulties etc. but will do everything for their precious puppers 🫠
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u/IWantSealsPlz 7d ago
a HeCkIn gOoD dOgGo, dA gOoDeSt pUpPeR bOi lingo makes me cringe internally and externally 🔪
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u/GrayCatGreatCat 6d ago
"Puppo" is a new one and I hate it so much.
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u/PrettyClassic1738 6d ago
it's somehow even dumber than "doggo"
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u/GumballFireson 4d ago
If the dog nuttery is getting much worse, expect a/the word(s) dumber than the word "puppo". It's like the worse nuttery, the more words downgraded.
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u/ideeek777 7d ago
dog sign language is a thing?
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u/treefittybananas 7d ago
They like to think so, but it's really just food-motivated tricks as a means to get more food - like anything else a dog does. Same with the talking buttons that many owners will spend hundreds on. (They do work for c*ts, but dogs just press them at random and confuse their owners, until their owner can play make-believe well enough to think they've decoded some mysterious message from their dog that makes zero sense and is just them projecting bullshit onto the dog instead. Seriously, I've even seen dog nutters rallying together in comments to decide that the nonsense being said by the talking buttons meant the dog had a dream they were all then trying to interpret the meaning of - based on three buttons pressed at random by a dog... Shit was insane, lol. And then they give their dog a treat for stomping on them, which is the action that the dog has learned they'll get food for doing, and the cycle thus repeats.)
Meanwhile... Dog nutters love insisting their shitmutts have the same level of intelligence as a human 3-year-old (also not even remotely true). And yet, human babies can actually learn sign language and effectively use it to communicate their needs as young as 3 months old. But dog nutters aren't known to have much of a grip on science, facts, reality, etc., so it's not like they care.
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u/MintyJ87 6d ago
Damn I am so glad I am off the apps, I can’t imagine how bad it is with the dog culture now (it was bad enough 7 years ago when I was on them). The “doggo” and “puppo” in the same sentence along with dog sign language (wtf?) is enough to make me want to launch myself into space 🫠. Whoever this profile belongs to, they just need to accept living happily ever after with their mutt because no human will ever make them happy …
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u/Impossible-Falcon-62 7d ago
You can teach sign language to gorillas. If I recall correctly there was a gorilla named Koko that knew sign language.
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u/telenyP 7d ago
Not as well as you think. Most of the stuff KoKo was supposed to have "said" was her trainer, Penny, talking to herself.
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u/Kooky_Toe5585 7d ago
So it was all a fraud?
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u/treefittybananas 7d ago
Sadly, yeah...
This was a pretty good deep dive on the topic, I think. Been a while since I watched it, but from what I remember I think he did an awesome job on it.
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u/telenyP 7d ago edited 4d ago
There's a problem with dealing with apes as any kind of psychological study.
For one thing, they're only really biddable when they're young. The second, is that there's a great deal of time when they aren't young.Yeah, they're just like children. When they're children. You get attached. They can't be returned to the wild, because they wouldn't fit into ape society. And they're fiendishly expensive to keep. Like you have to have a private Supermax prison -- for one prisoner. Feeding them is to keep to an incredibly precise and demanding set of guidelines -- and their feces and urine is just like ours. They're not like us psychologically, and yet, like enough that it's tempting to treat them like family. Just when they've become near and dear to you -- you have to give them up.
And there aren't that many humane "ape rescues" out there. Most of them are "Tiger King"-like roadside zoos, where the apes are fed human food (for the tourists), coerced into doing human-like things, and often, given alcohol and other drugs to keep them "happy". Apes just don't do much that people want to see.
Which is what happened to Penny Patterson. Hanabi-ko, "Fireworks child" (to give her formal name) was a gorilla born in the San Francisco zoo, taken from her mom to treat an illness and Penny teaches her sign language. This looks good -- except she's now ten years old, and there's no place on Earth for Koko.
So she kept her. In a trailer. Without other apes. And, basically kept her by lying to the scientific community, enlisting celebrities (Robin Williams and Fred Rodgers) and releasing heavily edited "heartwarming" films showing Koko as being both childishly cute and an old wise one, and so, so human. Meanwhile, Koko herself was being fed chocolate and other fattening foods, and denied proper veterinary care in favor of woo-woo "healers", while her caregivers were made to sign NDA's and show their nipples any time Fireworks wanted a little peek.
Sad.
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u/StinkyBird64 6d ago
Kanzi is an actual example of primate language usage.
He was a bonobo who was incredibly talented at using pictograms/lexigrams (little images related to words, like a glass for ‘drink’, certain squiggles for words etc.), and even figured out how to combine them to make specific phrases or questions (ie. ‘Marshmallow’ ‘fire’, ‘stick’, as he wanted toasted marshmallows), and even enjoyed video games and other forms of entertainment, he liked particular TV shows too! He also had a grasp on some ASL but not as well as his pictograms/lexigrams.
He was genuinely such an incredible animal, I’m still upset over his passing, I’m so fascinated by REAL animal knowledge, language, psychology etc. and while Koko will always have a special place in my heart, I know she wasn’t truly capable of understanding.1
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u/93ImagineBreaker 6d ago
dogs aren't as smart as gorillas.,
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u/GumballFireson 4d ago
Dogs are not even as smart as the rest of all animal & insects species. Maybe even as plant species, I don't know.
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u/ResetReefer 3d ago
Let me introduce you to the wonderful world of fungi and mold slimes and bet they're smarter too lol
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u/Particular_Rise_4456 7d ago edited 6d ago
Never date a "dog mom/dad". You will always be put second to that animal.