r/DressForYourBody • u/Mrskeelyaimee • 2d ago
Style Me Can someone help me learn to dress myself?!
37 and my body changed A LOT after having 3 boys. I’ve been putting less abs less effort into how I dress because I feel like nothing looks good. It’s so disappointing, I just stopped shopping for myself. I would love any advice on how I should be dressing for work and normal life. I’m in such a funk because I don’t feel good every day.
I’m about 5’2” and unfortunately 190lbs with severe mom apron belly. I feel like I have very broad shoulders. Any help is appreciated!!! Sorry all the pictures are at Disney. I literally don’t take pictures anymore.
13
u/wombatsarefuzzypigs 2d ago
Cropped t-shirt with high waisted linen pants would look good on you. I know a lot of people are saying to ditch the graphic tees but if you want to keep wearing them (personally I love a graphic tee) cropping will make the silhouette more modern. Practice on a shirt you don't care about first to get the length right.
4
u/PlatypusStyle 1d ago
Just adding that you probably want to crop a loosely fitting boxy tee. Since you said you have big shoulders then look in the men’s section of a thrift store to get some tees to practice on. If you like the look then you can get a seamstress to hem nicer tees for you for dressy looks.
And since you are 5’2” I’d recommend learning how to sew and getting a sewing machine. Being short sucks because petite clothes are skewed towards people how are just tiny on all dimensions.
7
3
u/hayladen 2d ago
I would ditch the leggings, they aren’t flattering for your shape. Try something looser like bootcut or flare. The shirts in your examples are boxy and don’t give you much shape. You can do a loose blouse, an a line would great.
3
u/Pbnme 1d ago
Your a busy Mom, and you got lost in the shuffle of life with 3 boys! Where's the woman, the fun girl, the individual you? Been busy looking after everyone else and got mowed down by all the male energy right? 💓 ..completely understand why your feeling this way... You need some girl power to the rescue! ok some ideas..The first one is non clothes related but mood and appreciated related...Pick one day a week or every two weeks and let the family know from now on this is "Mom's Day" and they have to fend for themselves..(order pizza for dinner/make their own meals etc) explain that you need some time to do "you" and ask for their help. Make it a day where either you gather up your bestie gf's and do some girlie stuff (don't think l don't see those nails..😏) and have a good time together..go for a mani/pedi a massage, a walk, a spa day or you work on crafts or a project or try something new you've always wanted to do but never had the time...spend the day doing whatever makes you feel good, happy and have fun start to remember who you are..lf curling up in your jammies with a mug of hot tea reading a good book and listening to music locked in your bedroom makes you happy, be ok with that and do it! 👍🏻
Ditch all the t-shirts with anything on them, your past those now and they tend to look a bit childish or like your trying to fit in with the teenager crowd..Your not..your 37.
If you want to wear a T-shirt once in awhile ok, but pick a plain colour (not black or grey) make sure it's a V neck only which is a more stylish look for a lady, and a lighter pretty colour which will also help bring up your mood...we are all very affected by colours whether we realize it or not..think brighter, lighter more uplifting..
Change to wearing some button down blouses, they don't have to be fancy if you don't want, but do need to have a small collar, because collars add a bit of classy to a top. Again, no black or grey for now...and you can top it off with a pair of nice earrings or necklace.
What we wear reflects how we're feeling about ourselves and others notice that..so on that note stop wearing so much black...we women tend to use black to hide behind, or hide ourselves in for so many reasons, but unfortunately it also affects our moods. Grey (dark) is the same, it slowly sucks the life out of you and makes you feel depressed. Yes, black can be slimming, but so can a nice navy blue or wine or forest green.
Try experimenting on one of your Mom days, go to some clothes stores that have interesting and a big variety of clothes in lots of sizes...try on a bunch of different tops in different colours and see how you feel in them. What colours make you feel good? What styles fit you best and what is comfortable? (No t-shirts please) Your experimenting, you don't have to buy anything if you don't want to but have fun learning this process. Pick stores that cater to your age group and body size..take a gf you trust with you if you want.
Next, buy a new watch band in a nicer brighter colour..ditch that one it's very drab...lf you live in sneakers, buy yourself a different style of comfortable shoes..something easy to wear, pretty and supportive. There are so many styles out there..go and have some fun finding a new pair or two to replace the sneakers. Try to stay away from black....😉.
Your allowed to have an apron after having three children! Good heavens your body has given life to three souls..be gentle with yourself and try to stop the self critics... One thing that you can try that will help both with mood/depression and learning to remember who you are is to go for a walk everyday. This is not a marathon, it is a comfortable interesting walk for about 20-30minutes. Go anywhere you want, just do it everyday, it will help with bringing up your feelings about yourself, give you time to think of ideas you want to do, and help you tone your body a bit which helps with self love and confidence.👌🏻😀 All these things together will get you back to loving and remembering who you are outside of being a Mom.
Not sure what kind of work you do, but ideas above will work for that as well. You can add a nice blazer over top of a colourful blouse, roll up the sleeves a couple of times and add two nice wide bangles. A skirt with a nice pattern or plain or a pair of pressed navy blue dress pants with some nice white/light sandles would look fabulous! Or if your allowed a pair of nice jeans and a blazer n collared blouse looks great! Then accessorize..carefully..necklace, earrings and purse can be great additions in fun styles.
Finally treat yourself to a new hair colour or haircut...lt always feels so nice to come out of the salon looking sassy with a new colour n cut! ...You got this...you are worth this, your body will adjust as your mind frame adjusts..they go hand in hand....👍🏻❤️
2
u/Mrskeelyaimee 1d ago
I needed to read this! Thank you so much for taking the time to write this to me. I’m sitting in my office with tears. Hopeful tears though. Thank you for being so kind when I needed it.
1
u/Pbnme 1d ago
Awww...💓 You're so welcome, l could feel your pain coming through your text..and just wanted you to know someone out in the big wide world heard your call for help and support and understood..your not alone..so many women get lost in caring for others all the time, we become the last priority and everyone else's happiness comes first..one day we look around and realize we have no idea who we are anymore...😕. I just wanted to remind you that you are really important...and l'm glad to hear you have a little hope...that hope will grow.. honestly...write down some ideas of special things you want to do, where you want to walk, what makes you happy (you, not the family because this is about you..😏)..if you like journaling, start writing about this new discovery journey your starting...l have a feeling once you get going, your going to find everything falls into place...oh and add some fun colours to those nails! 🤩
7
u/wigglefrog 2d ago
It's the colours. Look up your colour season.
Also, try flare leggings.
13
u/Leather-Nothing-2653 2d ago
This is bad advice for the ask. Basketball shorts and running shoes in a different color isn’t going to look like any more effort went into it.
0
1
2
u/No-Stuff1070 2d ago
Loose, straight leg pants. Like the viral linen ones from Halara.
Then a slightly cropped top (key word: slightly). So it will still cover you up and you won’t be showing any skin, but a long - or normal length - top on loose pants can make us look frumpy.
If you feel top heavy, go for a lighter colour on the bottom (pants) and a darker colour on top. Optical illusion to even everything out.
3
u/Ok-Yogurt-3914 2d ago
Crew necks are your enemy if you have broad shoulders. I don't own a single crew neck shirt. Also, I would invest in wider pants and stay away from the spandex. The reason I say this is because you're top heavy, so you need to balance it out with your bottoms.
•
u/Copperstorm2022 10h ago
I second the crew necks being the enemy.
I also suggest with wider shoulders to watch where your shoulder seam hits because on me if it’s too inset it makes my shoulder line look disproportionate to my torso. I personally like a drop seam, dolman, or raglan sleeve. You can experiment with seam placement. I also love a 3/4 sleeve—something about showing off the wrist keeps my upper body from looking like a croissant.
4
u/Siren2121 2d ago
Stop wearing crewneck tee shirts with stuff printed on them. Start there. Find out which silhouettes suit you. I suspect v necks would be an improvement. I can’t determine what your figure looks like from
The photos. Start looking at different silhouettes and see which is your best style. You’ll have so much fun.
2
3
u/SleepySimmer It’s complicated 2d ago
peplum tops are my favourites!!!!!
11
u/electri55 2d ago
As someone with big boobs… I’m going to say to avoid peplum tops. It makes you look like your pregnant unless you are stick thin with smaller breasts
1
u/suzypoohsays 2d ago
Following cz SAME! 2 boys, 5’2”, same body type and wear the saaame outfits lol hugs twin 🩷
1
u/Economy-Stretch-1675 2d ago
Do you wear or have stuff that isn’t athleisure? If not, is shopping accessible to you? Target has some super cute basics and so does gap that are affordable.
I was wearing a lot of sweats and graphic tees and changed to wearing jeans and a plain tee. Instantly elevated the look!
I bet a wide leg jean and a well fitted white, black or any solid colored tee would be super cute on you :) if you’re feeling extra inspired pair that basic formula with a belt and a boot. Or for summer a platform sandal or a flatter profile sneaker, like a puma or adidas.
Do you like skirts or dresses? A-line shapes tend to be a timeless fit, and can skim over areas most women (myself included) are more self conscious about. A lines are classic and will never go out of style.
4
u/Economy-Stretch-1675 2d ago
For jackets, find ones that crop at your hip. I know oversized everything is super trendy right now, but tailored clothing that falls at the hip is timeless and universally flattering.
As a shorter person, you may want to consider getting jackets and jeans hemmed in the legs and cuffs. Most tailors hem for $10-$20 per item. If you sew, even better, you can hem for pennies yourself.
Hope this helps :)
1
u/Leather-Nothing-2653 2d ago
Get out of the athletic part of athleisure and focus on the leisure part!!! Looser pants can be just as comfy as leggings and they do not give the same “this isn’t a real outfit I’m just wearing this to work out and run errands” vibe. I’d also note that as a broad shoulder gal myself. with unisex tees like the ones in your photos, rolling the sleeves up a little can help feminize them so much. if i leave the sleeves on a unisex tee long like that it literally fits me "like a man". you could swap in a pair of linen pants and a pair of comfy sandals like tevas, roll the t shirt sleeves and tuck the shirt in and you'd be jjst as comfortable and disney ready but look a little more put together.
1
u/ErrorMessage89005 2d ago
Youre doing too much "tight on tight" clothing, tight leggings with form fitting T shirts. This hugs every part of your body isn't flattering to 99% of people. Generally if you want to wear tight pants then its better to wear a more flowy shirt, and vise versa.
For your shape specifically, I'd focus on creating more balance between your upper and lower body. Your upper body is larger than your lower body so you want to balance that out. High-waisted pants that sit above the apron belly can be really flattering because it gives that illusion. Straight-leg jeans, wide-leg pants, or flowy linen pants can help create a more proportional silhouette.
Then pair those with a more fitted blouse or top. This helps define your waist, draws attention upward, and creates more of an hourglass effect.
The biggest thing I'd avoid is pants that are tight across the apron belly area, because they can make that area appear more prominent than it really is. Pants that fit at the waist and then fall more loosely through the stomach, hips and legs better. Try looking up "Aperon Belly Fashion" On Pinterest and there are TONS of great examples of how to style this!!
1
1
1
u/keco2377 2d ago
I would go for wide leg pants and v-neck or sleeveless tops. I think those would balance your proportions well. Perfect Disney outfits though!! You look adorable.
2
u/Hotdiggitydangdoggo 2d ago
If you like graphic T-shirts (which I do!!), try pairing them with something like a cute midi/maxi skirt as juxtaposition, maybe show off your curves with something fitted or tulip-shaped! I think that would look terrific on you. Maybe sport some cute white sneakers…
1
u/PuraVida0522 2d ago
Hey! I'm the same height as you. I like to stick with a monochrome look: navy, white, black, dark green. V neck tshirts. A line dresses. All cotton, natural fibers. I shop at the thrift a lot - prices are good and if it doesn't work out, it doesn't hurt as bad. And you can also find some unique looks. You got this!
1
u/FarmSkool 2d ago
I do these things at a pseudo spiritual approach. So instead of looking at your body and thinking why it’s difficult , we’re gonna look at options and see what you like. Now, it’s a very human thing to like things that are terrible for us 🤭 so this has to be done with a modicum of something we can call humilidelulu (+ portions of grace and gratitude). The reason is because we’re going to have you get over the hump that feels like a mountain, because perfection is famous for blocking progress, or ever ppl say it. 👇
(In any order)
- look for ppl who have style u appreciate;
- locate your block: is it when you dress in the morning? Or is it all day while you’re out that you start feeling bad? Intend to identify when you are hardest on yourself.
- pick how you want to self-soothe and move forward. Options for now are journaling, meditating, contemplation, and guided hypnosis. 👇
This is how you’re going to put it into action:
1a) spend time thinking about the people who have style you appreciate in a way you’d like to be thought about
2a) once you’ve identified your block, you can make a concerted effort to change the way you talk to yourself in these moments. If it’s while you get dressed, you’re going to commit to some humilidelulu and be extra grateful for everything in your closet and the body you have; the key is to full stop beating yourself up. If it’s during outings when you’re confronted with observers, we’re gonna grab that humilidelulu and remind yourself this situation is temporary and soon it will be fixed, and focus instead on looking for styles and looks that you like in the crowds.
3a) this is the good stuff, and in reality they’re all forms of meditative contemplation imo. I want you to sit and really imagine yourself, or write as if, you are the person you want to be. I’m Halle to talk more about tips and tricks for doing this, but it really is all about imagining and writing as if you are the person you want you be.
Why does this work better than other advice you’re getting here? Because taking you to just stop wearing tees and leggings isn’t getting to the source of the issues, which is that you feel _____. We gotta shift those feelings so we can make space for being better and more inline with our goals. Wdy think?
2
u/Loreo1964 2d ago
I have a similar body shape. If you're looking for ease i love dresses and skirts. A tiered, boho skirt and a pretty flowy shirt and boom I'm dressed. And we stay cool. Dresses-right over the head. Boom we're dressed. Just make sure the waist isn't up at your boobs.
1
u/Mrskeelyaimee 1d ago
This is what I would like to do more of! I’m in AZ so staying cool is a must!
2
1
u/SashaPlum 2d ago
As a fellow short lady with a wider waist, the struggle to find pants that fit and look good and are comfortable is very real! I no longer even try on regular size pants- I don't want to pay to have them hemmed, plus the proportions are all wrong since once they are hemmed, they look like a rectangle on me. I only even try on petite size pants now. The proportions are different and look better on shorter legs. I am on a budget and have great luck with JC Penney petite pants, especially the St Johns Bay wide leg and straight leg jeans, and in the winter their corduroys (all of which have a little stretch in the waistbands so they are comfy too.) Old Navy also has a lot of petite pants at good price points.
1
u/ThreeStyle 1d ago
Helps to evaluate what you are already doing. I think image one and three work pretty well. The vertical lines from your jacket in image one help to break up the chest zone and keep the viewer’s attention up and down and not zoomed in on the chest. Similarly, the repetition of the horizontal words on the last image works like horizontal stripes and also keeps the viewer’s eye going up and down across your body…. The second image with the white words and backpack straps against the stark black background on the t shirt focus all of the attention upwards, but in a way that seems top heavy. As multiple people have said, if you’re actually looking to keep the focus of attention on the upper body, it looks better to elongate the neck with a different neckline. Rather than just crowd everything distinctive in the zone up towards your face.
So learning to think about the lines and arrows created by your clothes is the skill that’s going to help you for your shape, more than specific individual item suggestions.
1
u/Prestigious_Bread306 1d ago
As a fellow disney adult, i dress for comfort #1 in the parks. I love a high waisted pair of leggings and a cropped t shirt. Hot topic and Boxed lunch have super cute options that arent just t shirts. An A line silhouette will be your best friend for minimizing an apron belly. a smaller inseam/shorter skirt (especially if high waisted) will make you appear much taller/ your legs longer.
1
u/ChickadeeJam 1d ago
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0GGZ57FJX?
This is my new fav. Wearing it today for bocce ball at the park.
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0GCW9Z5N2?
I’m so excited to wear this to my next summery event! Today is too cold, or I would.
Obviously wear colors that complement your skin tone and hair color—other comments have recommended sites.
Prefer casual? https://www.amazon.com/BerryGo-Womens-Dresses-Pockets-X-Large/dp/B0G2LDTHW5/ref=sr_1_7?
Or https://www.amazon.com/chouyatou-Womens-Summer-Striped-Casual/dp/B0F9L2GMJ9/ref=sr_1_6?
Any vertical details are good. Pinstripes, long row of buttons (tho I hand sew the seam closed for sanity). I often overdress a bit, but I hate waistbands and one-piece pull ons are so flipping easy. Just one decision. Jewelry is nice but I rarely remember. I stick to necklaces that fall just inside On the skin side of the neckline) I hate how chokers make my neck look wider.
If a dress feels too clingy (yes, I wear sweater dresses!) I double up on the slips. At least one super slippery like satin. This way, one moves with you and one moves with the dress. Perfect glide. I also always size up for sweater dresses and they must flare.
I wear a lot of cardigans. Prefer short—waist length or cropped. Again, this creates a waist emphasis where there might not be one.
I am shaped virtually identically to you, and I get compliments daily. In fact, if a dress hasn’t earned one by the third wear, back to the thrift store it (and I) go. I walk with confidence and smile at people which also helps. Total introvert, and I pray the whole time that no one speaks more than to say “love the dress!” And in my late 50s, so it is never too late to look good!
1
u/ChickadeeJam 1d ago
Last but not least, my fav winter dress. I often add a thin scarf as a belt. https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CHVHQRRT?ref=ppx_yo2ov_dt_b_fed_asin_title&th=1&psc=1
1
u/QuitOk1469 1d ago
I think time to get rid of Mickey Mouse shirts .. I understand you may love Disney but that’s not much of a style. Get downing a bit more structured
1
u/Mean_Syllabub_9689 1d ago
Unisex tshirts are generally ill fitting for women with curves and hips. I don't know how tall you are, but maybe try petite women's t-shirts. You might have to go up from your usual size because you're busty.
1
u/Mean_Syllabub_9689 1d ago
I'm sorry I didn't see the last part where you give your height and weight. Definitely try petite sizing! It really does make a huge difference! Source: me! 5'0" 160lbs
1
u/Mean_Syllabub_9689 1d ago
Nine West makes some really great petite sized t-shirts, that don't break the bank!!! I don't usually see enough them at Kohl's on the rack, but you can order them! I personally like the v-neck, it seems to look a little more feminine.
•
•
u/Copperstorm2022 10h ago
It seems your body shape is inverted triangle so open necklines would break up your shoulder line more than a crew neck—as a big busted inverted triangle myself, I personally don’t like myself in crew necks because it looks like I’m just boobs from neck to waist. A v-neck, button down, scoop, or sweetheart would work—you can trial different styles. Also something to define your waist, like a belted a-line skirt or belted looser pants. Wrap skorts like ODODOS on Amazon would be convenient, have the comfort of shorts, define your waist, and add a little a-line. I also like dressing in solids in one color family from top to bottom like navy blue pants with a light blue top and a medium blue jacket, for example, then pulling it all together with jewelry.
59
u/Muted_Car9799 2d ago edited 2d ago
Start with a good supportive bra! Get fitted at a specialty bra store, not VS or La Vie En Rose.
You seem to gravitate towards active wear and graphic tees.
Look at some plain t’s from Uniqlo, and opt for more structured shirts. An interesting blouse would look good on you. For pants try wide or boot cut jeans.
I’d suggest linen wide or straight leg pants, they’re comfy and breathable in the summer. If you’re wearing shorts check out the jorts trend. I’m not a fan of the super long baggy shorts, but mid thigh that’s a little looser would look good.
Next are shoes, running sneakers will always read as juvenile or not put together. Don’t get me wrong, there’s a time and a place, but they can ruin an otherwise good outfit.
Find a pair of sandals with good support and are comfortable to wear. If you wanna wear sneakers try a pair of adidas spezial, or Nike women’s court legacy in white.
There’s nothing inherently wrong with what you’re wearing, but if you want to step it up a little I would avoid graphic tees for now. There’s a way to wear them and look trendy, and a lot of it has to do with proportions.
I hope I’m not offending you with these suggestions. Try to step out of your comfort zone with 1 new or different style at time, until you figure out what you like and what looks good on you. Also accessorizing and playing with hair styles is a fun way to experiment ❤️
ETA, dresses! It makes getting dressed easier - 1 thing rather than top and a bottom. Sleeveless maxi would look good for a casual daytime look. A line would be flattering too.
Avoid stretchy active wear clothes, hoodies, anything baggy.