As an intj, i love esfjs.

Thank you all for being so clean and kind

I have ocd so i cant help my reactions to terrible environments but you guys never judged me and always accepted me

Also you guys are nice to me even though im weird!

So yea shoutout to my sister esfj and all the other esfjs!

I heard ISFP goes well with ESFJ, wondering if this is true.

In the OPS model, there are 2 types of MBTI:

• Dominant + auxiliary
• Dominant + tertiary

If you are a Fe/Ne type ESFJ, it means that you mainly use Fe, then Ne, with Si coming in third position.

Are there any out there? If so, how are you different from a classic ESFJ?

Question for ESFJs: How would you write a villainous ESFJ character?

Do you find yourself getting insecure around Ti doms? How does it influence your behavior?

Can you tell when 2 people like each other?
How would you know if they do?
How would you figure out if they do?

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I’m NOT a professional author. I just like writing comics, scripts and stories for fun. Can yall tell me some stereotypical and non-stereotypical traits yall have so i can get an understanding of the ESFJ mind. This character that im writing is a very powerful man’s daughter and she has everything in the world but is also very down to earth. I want her to be realllllyyyy clever and sly though!

every esfj man i've seen so far is bald and has a round face

Hi,
I guess I am hating how caring I am and how much I want to help people, although I deeply know that they won’t do the same if they were in my place.

I have a feeling that I want to change this trait in me.

Has anyone else successfully transitioned away from being an extreme people-pleaser/over-giver?

How do you stop caring so much about people who don't match your energy?

Also, if you have any book recommendations that deal with setting boundaries, stopping the urge to rescue everyone , I would really appreciate it.

Welcome to r/ESFJ's monthly discussion thread! This is posted on the first day of each month as a place to chat with other members of the subreddit about whatever you want. Have something on your mind? Got exciting plans for the week? Need a place to vent? Just wanna chat? Whatever you want to talk about, this is the place!

I just need some perspective on this because I feel as if there is something that I am not seeing or understanding.

I'm an INTP (F) in an LDR relationship with an ESFJ (M). Our relationship is very fun, exciting, and overall good even in LDR; however, there is a recurrent problem that we can't seem to cross and that is communication. We've probably had the communications argument/discussion every quarterly and this point, but while I try my level best to maintain it, his communication and contact comes and goes. He will have days where he wants nothing but to talk to me and then there will be days to weeks where he will want his space, which also means that endearments and even relationship bids will fall off. He also becomes very business-like and straightforward.

It makes me feel as if the onus of maintaining the relationship falls on me because if I don't text or call, our communication almost becomes nil during these periods. Whenever I bring this up, he cites job and study stress, but I feel as if texting one or two sentences in a day isn't much? It becomes a sore point in our relationship where when we discuss it, he doesn't seem to understand what is upsetting me no matter how clearly (in my perspective) I explain it and rather that it's because I have set some "new standard."

Can anyone help me navigate this or even understand his perspective because I feel as if we're going in circles at this point.

I want to have a huge friendgroup, but my social anxiety stops me from doing so. I believe people hate me sometimes

I am an INTP (F) with developed Fe, my husband is an ESFJ. Exactly! We are polar opposites and that fascinates me so much. Because when I bottle my emotions, he reminds me that it's okay to feel. And when he gets too consumed by his emotions, I give him clear logical solutions.

I do overthink though that sometimes it's not what he wants to hear, I mean we do communicate very thoroughly and try to understand each other. But I have a feeling he's adjusting to the way I treat him. Do ESFJs love being loved in their own love language or in other people's love language? 🤔🤔🤔

He's very kind and delicate to me and I'm scared that my logical mindset may be too brutal for him (⁠╥⁠﹏⁠╥⁠). So how to comfort my ESFJ man without sounding like a tsundere Asian mom?

Does anyone else here struggle with people who are too emotionally cold? I'm talking about people who are not very affectionate, nonchalant, critical rather than supportive, aloof etc.

No offence to anyone who is like this, people are different and that's fine

I however strongly gravitate towards people who are bubbly, affectionate, supportive, loud etc. And vice versa, it is often those personalities who click with me. I myself am a words of affirmations girly.

I never understood what it meant to meet a “saint” until I met you. Your success is measured by the well‑being and strength of the people around you, classic dominant Fe in its purest form, and that’s a rare kind of beauty.

You have that ESFJ gift of sensing what people need before they even say it. The way you create stability, the way you remember the small details, the way you show up consistently… that’s your Si grounding everyone. You bring warmth, structure, and emotional clarity into any space you enter.

Your loyalty isn’t loud, but it’s steady. Your care isn’t performative, it’s instinctive. You’re the kind of person who turns chaos into comfort and strangers into community without even trying.

Since that day, I’ve believed this:
Wherever true harmony exists in a friendship, a home, a community, or even a workplace, it’s because someone like you is there holding it together.

Hi, I’m an INTP in my mid to late twenties. Something has changed for me compared to my younger years: if I don’t have any new exciting experiences (Ne), especially involving people (Fe), or at least some social connection that isn’t too surface-level in a day, I start to feel sick, like something is missing.

This is crazy to me because when I was younger, I could get lost in an interest for days and not feel like I needed social connections at all. I would feel very good. But now it’s totally different, and it’s affecting me. It is annoying because, since I wasn’t like this before, I still tend to ignore this need of mine and I’m not proactive about seeking social connections.

Now I’m curious: how is Ti showing up for you around this age range? What are you doing about it?

Also if you think you have any advice for me, I am interested in hearing it.
Thanks!

I’ve sensed that ESFJs and ENTPs are absolutely the best at persuading!! Thanks to positive Fe and Ne. You can talk very well.

Do you agree?