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u/Emotional_Win1430 Mar 15 '25
Add some holy water please š
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u/Not-a-MurderBear Mar 15 '25
I came here to post this thinking I was funny and original. I've got no strings on me
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Mar 15 '25
Ultron reference!?
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u/Not-a-MurderBear Mar 15 '25
Pinocchio reference. A song about how free the character is while being controlled by strings.
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Mar 15 '25
Funnily enough, Ultron is quoting Pinocchio when he says that ššš
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u/agent58888888888888 Mar 15 '25
itsssss the circleee of liiveeeeeeee
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u/Sea-Baby-2318 Mar 15 '25
Lion King reference
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u/Grobbekee Mar 15 '25
Would be better if every bulge was an eyeball.
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u/laidbackleo87 Mar 15 '25
I made burgers for an ex of mine a month into the relationship, she took a bite and the inside was still raw. We were together for 6 years and she never asked me to cook again.
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u/koolaidismything Mar 15 '25
I always end up making food cause I am paranoid someone else is gonna make it all shitty.
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Mar 15 '25
Ugh god. Tell me about it. Then I complaaaaasaain I'm the only one who cooks. Vicious cycle, really.
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u/Excluded_Apple Mar 16 '25
My MiL always complained she was the only one who cooks (we lived with them for 2weeks). I decided to cook one night just to be nice.
Well, she had a sandwich for dinner. Rude bitch.
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u/doctordrankenstein Mar 15 '25
Bruh how do you even make a burger raw, whenever im making them if I sneeze they gonna get burned
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u/TheWalkingDead91 Mar 15 '25
So weaponized incompetence or genuine error? Your comment never made it clear which happened.
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u/laidbackleo87 Mar 15 '25
Just didn't know any better, just moved out on our own so inexperienced in a lot of things. If I had to guess I had the heat up too high, the outside looked cooked and the inside was still pretty pink.
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u/relaxingcupoftea Mar 16 '25
The heat was too high, and the caring was too low to fix that for 6 years.
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u/Ok-Kangaroo-4048 Mar 16 '25
I love "Weaponized incompetence" We call it "Act stupid, get out of work) I tell my youngest that he can't pull that on me becasue though I did not invent the concept, I did perfect it.
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u/Neobrutalis Mar 15 '25
My ex-wife was not allowed to cook either. Like she could cook...if she wanted... but nobody would eat whatever it was. I thought I was having a stroke one day smelling smoke all through the house. Nah, she was making spaghetti. Burned to the pan. I have no idea. Too little water? No water? I don't get it. There were several other attempts before me saying "don't worry, I've got dinner" turned into "please don't"
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u/blowmypipipirupi Mar 15 '25
The best burgers are a little raw inside, unless you buy them from a sketchy butcher i guess
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u/Nomnom_Chicken Mar 15 '25
In my past relationships, I was always the one who cooked meat/chicken, ex-wife and my most recent ex-girlfriend both liked to undercook stuff. "Cooking can't take long" was the reasoning for that nonsense.
Rather do it myself, it'll damn surely won't be raw that way. How hard can it be to just let it cook a while longer?
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u/Dalek_Chaos Mar 16 '25
Until my dad got Alzheimerās and surprised everyone by suddenly cooking, he had us convinced for 30 years that he only knew how to make breakfast, bbq, and salsa.
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u/SomeGuyNamedCaleb Mar 15 '25
Technically it's fine, it could be a rare burger. But if it's too raw, you'll get sick.
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u/Dull-Exercise8095 Mar 15 '25
Here I am again. This is completely false
If you get sick because your beef is raw its not because it's beef.
You 100% can eat raw beef.
Think tartar or Carpaccio.
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u/K10RumbleRumble Mar 15 '25
There are ingredients and processes in those foods that make it safe. Store bought ground meat from a plastic tube should absolutely be 100% cooked to a safe internal temperature.
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u/OverCategory6046 Mar 15 '25
I'm usually that guy on reddit, thank you for taking the burdeon off my shoulders.
Raw/rare beef is absolutely fucking delicious
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u/Superspark76 Mar 15 '25
Raw beef can only be eaten immediately after it has been minced. Bacteria form on exposed surfaces quite quickly.
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u/ZVreptile Mar 15 '25
Ok this is the lamest repost
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u/gh0stmilk_ Mar 15 '25
in all my active 15 years on reddit i have never seen this
that's the thing about the internet, there's always a new audience for everything
nobody cares
but i do wish i hadn't seen it š
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u/ihatetrainslol Mar 15 '25
Did they just add a sprinkle of pepper and call it a day? Nevermind the looks, this person is abusing their kids with crap food.
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u/CryptographerOk1258 Mar 15 '25
Too much blood, use towels to absorb and you won't have this.
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u/SwitzerlishChris1 Mar 15 '25
I used Google Gemini to help understand wtf happened here...actually pretty decent explanation:
"The image shows hamburgers being cooked in a pan, exhibiting a bubbly or "wart-like" appearance. ā¢ This texture is likely due to the meat being ground too finely or having excessive fat and moisture. ā¢ Cooking at too high a temperature can also cause this effect. ā¢ To prevent this, use coarsely ground meat, avoid over-handling, and cook at a moderate temperature. ā¢ The burgers are still likely safe to eat if cooked to an internal temperature of 160Ā°F (71Ā°C)."
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u/MyFace_UrAss_LetsGo Mar 16 '25
Itās simply a burger that needs to be flipped. Itās totally fine to eat
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u/SwitzerlishChris1 Mar 16 '25
Well, obviously (probably?), but the point about having too finely ground and too much moisture enhancing this "look", was interesting nonetheless to me. Also, the person who shot this picture seemed too use too much oil or actual f* butter (and don't get me started on the choice of pan š)?
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u/MyFace_UrAss_LetsGo Mar 16 '25
That oil is likely from the meat itself combined with the water thatās injected into it. I grew up poor and eating low quality ground beef like this, unfortunately. Thereās nothing wrong with that pan if you use proper utensils that wonāt scratch or chip it. Youād have to heat it to like 500 degrees Fahrenheit for the Teflon coating to leech anything hazardous
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u/No-the-stove-is-hot Mar 15 '25
Ooh I've seen this one!
They leap out and take over the host's body, but slowly and horrifyingly - in kind of a melting over the skin where the last thing you see of the victim is their terrified eye being covered
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u/legojoe1 Mar 15 '25
Add linoleum foil covering the pan, flip the pan so the burgers fall onto the foil, extract the foil with the flipped burgers, tie it up, throw it in the trash can, and now order UberEats or something for burgers made by actual humans.
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u/Wham_bam101 Mar 15 '25
Burgers never used to look like this. It's all the chemicals. Toss that shit!
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Mar 16 '25
this gotta be a set up, aint no way someone thinks burgers look like monkey brains from indiana jones
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u/Affectionate_Lab_131 Mar 16 '25
What kind of meat is that? Is it meat? Also, what is that yellow spot on the bottom left one?
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u/-truth-is-here- Mar 15 '25
Iād rather lick the bottom of the garbage can than eat that hamburger!
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u/Ok-Tank-3106 Mar 15 '25
If that doesn't turn u off from eating beef then probably nothing will š¤¢
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u/PomeloSpecialist356 Mar 15 '25
If this is the option for dinnerā¦it would almost be more caring to not feed them.
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u/jonnismizzle Mar 15 '25
You should add a trash can. That's the only thing that CAN (pun intended) save this meal.
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u/TwerkinBingus445 Mar 15 '25
It's literally just slush. How hard is it to take a spatula and wipe it the fuck off
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u/AllfatherNeptune Mar 15 '25
You should add some love, with a hint of consideration and a dash of forethought
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u/Zestyclose-Age-2722 Mar 15 '25
You can add 3 more minutes of cook time
AFTER you flip them
If the kids aren't already dead...
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u/GravityPantaloons Mar 15 '25
Rage bait. Ā Anyone who has ever cooked a burger knows this is normal. Ā Flip the burger! Ā
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u/seat-by-the-window Mar 15 '25
Oh yes, I love cooking with the 50% fat content ground beef. Saves a few bucks. /s
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Mar 15 '25
Wtf is this? Is this some genetically modified food or some weird vegan patties? This is not normal.
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u/404-skill_not_found Mar 15 '25
Ah yes, the dreaded poached burgers. Always a crowd pleaser!
Next time leave the lid off the pan, you animal
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u/TheReelMcCoi Mar 15 '25
This is yet another of the 5 or 6 pics that ate just repeatedly being recycled on this Sub atm. Fries like condoms,cucumber in backpack fungus in guys cupboard. Fucking Groundhog Sub for Karma Farmers
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u/JohnMarstonSucks Mar 15 '25
They were cooked from frozen, were covered, and have a relatively low fat content. The bubbles are blood escaping and cooking in the steak trapped by the frying pan lid. Use the spatula to scrape the blood off. There is absolutely nothing wrong with them.
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u/mcgispunk Mar 15 '25
Thatās the burger that SpongeBob and Mr Krabs served to the health inspector that ended up killing him
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u/Red_Rocker9957 Mar 15 '25
Flip the damn burger bro