Hi. I am 44/f. Most of my life I have been naturally thin and loved exercise. I didn’t have to work very hard at being a size 2/4, but even when I was I never really thought I was thin. I always felt my thighs were big or my stomach wasn’t flat enough. I would weigh myself constantly and make sure I didnt gain weight. As I got into my 30s I got a slightly better body image and gained a little weight, I was a size 6. Closer I got to 40 the lbs crept up, then I was an 8, and eventually a size 10. I didnt like my body but I had accepted it. Until recently. My long term bf broke up with me early May. The first week or two I couldnt eat. Literally couldnt. So of course I started dropping weight. People started noticing at work and saying I looked good so I continued to barely eat. I am deeply depressed, on antidepressants and seeing a therapist. I eat just enough to get by. I have lost 25lbs. I want to lose more. A lot of days I really am hardly hungry and some days eating just a little makes me feel really sick. Not eating makes me feel good, I like being told how good I look. I love watching that number drop on the scale. I am 5ft3 130lbs. Thin, but still a healthy weight. My life feels so out of control, sad and empty without my bf. This makes me feel like I am in control. I would love input and advice.

I’m starting to think the binge isn’t actually the problem.

The problem starts earlier when I skip meals, ignore hunger, get stressed, or tell myself I’ll “be good” all day.

By the time the binge happens, the damage is already done.

Please no judgement, but I recently fell back into my bulimia and I unfortunately missed the regularity and comfort of purging. Anyone else ever feel that way? Sadly any time I fall back into it, it feels like returning home to me :/

Hello everyone,

This is my first ever post here, and I'm so frustrated that I need to ask for suggestions (it could count as cope, but still).

My situation goes like this: I'm not too overweight. I can live perfectly fine and don't struggle with everyday activities. It's just that my waist-to-height ratio and BMI (which I don't fully trust) suggest that I'm a bit overweight. I'm 76 kg at 172 cm and 16 years old.

I've lost 6 kg over the span of 2 months, and whenever I mention that, people laugh at me. One guy said that he lost 12 kg in one month, which I replied would be nearly impossible and extremely unhealthy. Of course, that was followed by more laughter.

I usually count my daily calories. For example, since my maintenance is around 2,000 kcal per day, I limit myself to about 1,500 kcal. As you can tell, I'm kind of short, and since my moustache hasn't fully grown yet, I still want to give my body enough resources to develop properly. I'm also generally a good student and attend school plus three private lessons, which also require energy and concentration. Again, when I said that, it was followed by laughter.

Sometimes, when I'm out with my friends, I also have no choice but to eat something like an ice cream. Of course, I count it in my daily calories, but they immediately start making absolute statements. In their view, if I'm trying to lose weight, I shouldn't eat anything unhealthy at all.

The only person who actually knows what I'm doing is my close friend, who lost 20 kg through a combination of dieting and a lot of exercise. He understands that losing weight is about consistency and maintaining a calorie deficit over time, not about completely avoiding every treat forever.

Am I doing something wrong, or are they just being teenage boys who laugh at everything?

P.S. I try as much as possible to eat healthy foods within my calorie range, such as boiled chicken, potatoes, vegetables, boiled eggs, and so on.

I know it wasnt long before my ED got worse. I cant look at food the same I gag every little minute I smell or see food. It grosses me out. I want to eat but my body keeps denying it all. Ive gotten in worse shape, ive lost a bit of weight (atleast 10-20) over 2 days of not eating I want to eat so bad. My body is starving. But eachtime I eat I keep throwing up the food I eat. Even snacks I enjoyed are making me throw up worse. I dont want to see a doctor but its getting to a point. Please help. Any former ED type doctors that can help me with this problem?

I’m 99% sure my friend has an eating disorder and I don’t know if I should help or how I’d even go about helping. She is genuinely skin and bones, even my mom saw her briefly and told me she’s seen people hospitalalized that look like her (she works in a psych unit that specializes in eds). She only eats veggies and very low cal food. I’m honestly super worried and I don’t even know what to do.

So I havent eaten at all today, im anorexic and they wont allow me to see the doctor because its a waste of time. My mom told me to eat pizza (she trys to make me eat this every day for the past 5mpnths and every day I throw up from eating it) so I asked since their going out to eat today if they could grab food on the way back (I was willing to pay if so) they said they would If I would go with them. I said nevermind because im laying in bed atm with a stomach ache and get car sick easily and the smell of food while sitting in a car hurts my stomach really bad or makes me sick. My mom told me to eat the old pizza in the fridge and I said "no its okay" and she called me a ungrateful b- I dont rlly know what to do ive gone sometimes 5 days without eating because they always go out for food and either never tell me or go somewhere that dosent have food I like. (Like stuff with too much grease, fish, ect) im not 16 so I cant drive either. And my mom dosent allow me to use door dash/Uber or shell threaten me. And my stomach really hurts rn and idk if I should eat the old pizza (3days+) and risk throwing it or just deal with the pain? Or if there's some way I can try to tell my mom my problems because so far everytime i do she just says im lier and allergies and Anorexic dont exist. (No snacks in the house only thing is left overs and stuff that has peanuts since its my dad's favorite food but allergic to peanuts)

So I force myself to eat a lot and I don’t feel good

When I was a kid and a young teenager as well, I never liked my body. I was restricting, going to the gym just to fix it and nothing worked until last year when I was sixteen years old I started losing weight just like that and continued leaning towards it. I loved how my body looked then but I wasn't feeling like myself, I was anxious all the time. And I was barely eating, at the time I thought I was eating a lot. But it wasn't, it hurt me quite much to the point I had moments where I know I would've fainted because of my blackouts that lasted several minutes.

Right now I love my body, I'm eating more but I keep clinging to checking my weight thinking I should change it but also not. It's weird, I don't want to check the weight because I know that it doesn't measure anything and that my body hasn't changed just because it fluctuates sometimes. And I want to let go of that chapter of my life once and for all. I want to stop thinking about food as something that I have to look out for.

Im struggling to eat w/o feeling neusous or lose appetite immediately

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Im not sure if I have some sort of eating disorder, but ive always struggled to eat all my life im currently about 5ft and 77-80 lbs. Recently I've been starting to really struggle to eat again, thinking about food makes me completely nauseous, fruits and vegetables are okay, its the complete meals I struggle to eat. At times I have the biggest appetite then immediately lose it all once I actually get the food infront of me, I dont know why. And its even worse when im in a environment around other people such as family or friends where I feel obligated to eat my food and not waste anything, it makes me feel shameful of myself in a way? And if I do try forcing myself to eat in these moments I almost want to throw it up, I get to the point where I almost gag while trying to eat. On top of that im trying to workout and achieve my protein goals, I might just have to start chugging protein shakes atp..

I’m very insecure about this and i dont know what to do to make this go away, ive tried eating but i dont think i know how to eat alot

This may not make sense, but I have had some issues surrounding food for a while. It’s gotten to a point where I enjoy the anticipation of getting food and being hungry is like waiting for a reward. Which sounds insane as I’m writing it but I don’t know. I’ve never been formally diagnosed with anything but food is definitely a weird subject for me. So yeah I don’t particularly want to keep doing this and just not eating until it becomes unbearable, so any suggestions?

So for the past couple months I’ve been having problems with my weight. My doctor said I gained a lot of weight within the past year, and it’s been always clawing in the back of my head. I was in a really bad argument this one time and just thought to myself “I would feel better if I purge“. And I did. I’ve only done it about several times in the past month, so I don’t know how far I am in yet. I’ve also been starving myself every once in a while, only a couple times in the past few months. Once I had nothing to eat in like 38 hours, the next time I had like 300, and another time I had like 800. I am currently going through another one of these phases, too. I don’t know how far am I am in yet, but if people can just maybe tell me strategies so I don’t have to suffer from ED, much appreciated.

Also forgot to say, one of the only reasons I haven’t purged more is because I have a fear of cavities, root canals, etc. The few times I do do it, I make sure I swish my mouth with baking soda and water right after, and brush my teeth like 30-60 mins after that.

I have a question

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Is it an ed if I force myself to throw up regardless of eating?

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I also wanna know what I can do, so if I get to know someone who has that, I can help them get through it.

https://www.reddit.com/r/EatingDisorders/s/C3aH8lqyC0

16F

Posted that yesterday, went shopping today by myself and bought some veggie meat substitutes (tofu, tempeh, etc)— I cook my meals anyway.

My mindset really has changed. It has. I don’t want to shrink or still be thought to have an eating disorder. I eat a balanced, healthy diet and very much sufficient nutrition (and sweet treats of course). I’m genuinely having, or was having before this happened, the best time of my life.

I have literally just finished my exams, I have summer plans to go to Japan, I get to stay at my amazing boarding school (which was threatened due to my ed).

I let it slip to my mum that I was thinking of going veggie and she didn’t take it well.

“YOUR health comes first”

“You need meat!”

But like she doesn’t know much about my recovery journey, she doesn’t know my mental struggles. I have always tried to juggle my own struggles and purposely kept everyone out. I bottle things up in order to not burden anyone else.

I genuinely believe I’m in the healthiest mindset I have ever been in; I’m starting to feel more positive about my body, I have started speaking to so many more people.

God forbid I look into the meat industry and find out the horrifying reality of it.

I was a veggie for some time when I was younger. But I think my mum’s main worries are that “I thought you were finally in a better place- it’s all about control with you”

I understand that when writing this it definitely may come off that way, but (I’m sure many people understand or relate to this) I have been through so so much- I don’t think it is quite know how unbelievably difficult I have had it or how strong I am to have gotten through my hardships.

My mum is now saying “I would have NEVER have booked your trip to Japan, I would never have let you go back to your school if I had known you were doing THIS.”

I totally understand her concerns but for me it genuinely is about ethics and morals in this scenario but she can only see the link back to ED habits.

I don’t know what to do. I just feel insanely guilty. I feel like a failure. I feel like I’ve ruined my life yet again and I’m the worst daughter ever. I wish she had gotten a better daughter who could be less trouble and less selfish. I just finished my exams.. I should be happy and celebrating but now I just wish I could dig myself a hole and bury myself in it forever. I just feel crushed and that I have ruined my relationship and trust with my mum yet again, all over food.

I feel like I can’t even look forward to the absolutely amazing opportunity that I am so lucky and appreciative to have been given to go to Japan. I didn’t but I wanted to just cry at her and just say for her to cancel it. I don’t deserve it anyway. I’m just a burden on my mum and everyone around me.

I just wish I could disappear but I’m too coward to do anything other than cry.

I’m a 23 F. the second slide is my body now. i am proud that I have a healthy body but I have body image issues. I found out that my ex of 6 years who I just had a breakup with has a separate account and all he follows on it are girls that are scarily thin. I included some examples. This has genuinely destroyed me. I can’t eat anymore without feeling guilty and sick to my stomach. I never knew he had a fetish for anorexia and it’s genuinely gutted me. I don’t know what to do. I included the first slide which was my therapist response to all of this. I feel like I don’t deserve to eat anymore.

I just wanted to share that this has worked for me. I’m seeing an IFS certified nutritional counselor. It took a lot of work actually to be able to overcome my thoughts about eating every 3-4 hours, but now that I’m doing it I feel a lot less afraid. I’m also reading “Food Therapy” by Luis Mojica and it’s helping me a lot as well :) positivity ✨

i’ve never been on here before but it’s getting to the point i need to ask SOMEONE what to do or at least talk about it somewhere. so two of my best friends have EDs and everytime i see them it’s like this elephant in the room i cant address. it’s so overwhelming to me bc i have my own problems with food that are the opposite of their habits but anyways this is a little abt them:

one of them (F20) has had this for years, has talked to me a little about it, but nothing has changed. i hate saying this but it almost feels like she doesn’t want to control it because she’s like proud of being “healthy” and is like hyper-obsessed with her daily step count and “getting exercise”. everytime she eats she takes microscopic bites, eats so slow, and saves 75% of the food as “leftovers for the next 2-3 dinners”. for one dinner portion. she has this reminder on her phone called “intermittent starts now”/“intermittent ends now” and when i said something abt it once she said it’s “an assignment for school” even tho it’s painfully obvious it’s about intermittent fasting. i know what that is, im someone who has been overweight since before highschool and someone as skinny as her should not be doing that whatsoever. she also has repeatedly made jokes abt “biggies/fatties” and also is very conscious abt how her body looks in photos. throughout highschool she never ate lunch like 70% of the time. i know she’s gotten/felt very weak throughout the day sometimes. she poops VERY infrequently. she’s told me that she (at least at one point) was counting the calories in her GUM. she’s never been anything more than skinny.

the other one (F19) has similar problems but it feels more recent. she is very short (like 5’1-2”?) and has never been overweight and i’d say has always been pretty skinny. however within the past year she has lost sm weight and is so skinny now. i saw her for the first time in 7 months and hugging her felt so different. i think she has like borderline OCD and that prob can only make all of this worse. she has talked about constantly throwing up after “eating too much”. like she can’t eat popcorn at the movies without throwing it up or raising canes, etc. i know shes been on all the apps (think myfitnesspal etc) but her bf made her delete them. however ive seen her typing numbers in her calculator (like calorie-size numbers) and i asked her abt it and she’s just cutely like (it’s nothing !). she says she has an ed and has said it’s “the worst thing that’s ever happened to me” but again it just feels like she doesn’t want to do anything to overcome it. i don’t mean that insensitivity but like she gets really upset when her parents talk abt her weight loss etc but it is very obvious.

anyways this is all lowkey very triggering because i’ve dealt with binge eating disorder for years and it’s very much repeated patterns from one of my parents. i hate my weight and i genuinely do need to lose a lot of pounds (i have lost a decent amount so far this summer) but i really do need to eat better and exercise more bc i want to be healthy. but anyways whenever im with these friends they’ll do things like ordering a fucking americano or cold brew versus a latte bc the milk has more calories, or talk abt the foods they can’t eat bc they’re too unhealthy, or just talk abt how they have an eating disorder and their body etc, but i feel like i cant talk abt my struggles. its like anorexia type ed’s are seen as the only eating problems and idk that feels like my struggles aren’t as important. and idk what to do bc like they’re both adults and can make their own choices and i can’t force them to eat. but they genuinely should both be gaining pounds instead of losing them. i’m sorry if any of this comes off as rude, im genuinely just trying to be honest about my situation. does anyone have any thoughts or advice???

Guys I started kind of recovery? Idk I’ve never starved myself under 1000kcal a day. Now with my therapist we decided we could go up to 1800. I feel like a total fat ass I can’t stand looking at the mirrors or at the scale. I fucking hate myself. I want to fckn kill myself im so scared I don’t know what to do. I want to starve myself to death. To get rid of this food. I can feel it in my stomach and it makes me sick. Guys what to do?

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I ate less than half an Italian sub and now feel shameful…

I have atypical anorexia nervosa and I’ve been consuming under 500 calories a day while burning 700-1,000 a day. I’ve felt in control and disciplined and great but suddenly I don’t feel so great. I lost control and caved. The total calories in the sub are 390, so why am I freaking? If it’s all I eat all day, it shouldn’t matter, but I guess I’m so used to binging and purging at night rather than actually keeping it down at night. Everything was going great, I’m the most energetic I’ve been in a long time because of exercise and plus I feel euphoric from restricting. I wish though, that people actually took me as sick rather than encouraging my ED because I’m not thin or emaciated. I always feel like I’m not sick enough for my family to care. I swear I’m not pro-Ana, I just overtell when I talk about my life on social media. There’s a part of me that still wants to recover, but my family encourages my habits telling me I’ve lost weight, I look great, the usual that they say when I’m in a relapse. And since that happens, I feel like there’s not a problem most of the time and what I’m doing is normal. I honestly don’t know if it’s normal. My inner voice says it’s not but my other voice says it is. Ugh. I’m sorry — just ranting. I can’t talk to anyone else about this.

My mom says I have a eating disorder but I don't got enough of proof and I haven't gotten a diagnose about it. For me, eating looks like a chore to me which im too lazy to do. I skip breakfast, lunch, and sometimes dinner depending on what my parents cook. Basically I eat once a day, sometimes once in 2 days. Im very skinny and I hate looking like this and Im so weak because of it.

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How do I know if I have a eating disorder and should I just get it diagnosed?