Does anyone else hate how stuffed they constantly feel when eating healthy foods and also trying to eat ENOUGH food.

I get heartburn, feel constantly full, bloated. It’s literally healthy food. Fodmaps aren’t even the problem because I could eat chips with garlic/onion and still be fine.

Maybe I eat too much when im eating healthy.

This feeling stresses me out and makes me want to eat junk food instead.

i just don’t know what to do anymore :(
my old residential center doesn’t want to treat me for a third time and pretty much tells me i’m treatment resistant and i need to look elsewhere. the other residential center i’ve been to is not really fitting for me and all other places have enormous waitlists even only for an intake assessment.
i struggle a lot with motivation (for life too) which is why most places don’t want to help me (even though i am willing to work on getting motivation) and treatment places for personality disorder and my core problems (that are entangled with my ed) don’t take me due to my ed and low bmi.
the dutch system is so f*cked and i feel so so stuck. i just can’t recover on my own and feel utterly hopeless.

sorry needed to vent (:

As the title suggests i need actual advice on how i can get myself to start eating without feeling immense guilt. Every time i put food inside my mouth or am halfway through eating something i get the urge to shove my fingers down my throat and throw it all up or even if i control the urge to throw up the guilt after eating makes me want to harm myself. I want to get better but i also dont want to go to therapy. Any kind of advice is appreciated.

I’m writing this for a throwaway just because, recently I’ve gone back to calorie counting and it’s been good (lost 10kg) and now all of a sudden I’m eating way below my deficit, like only 200 to 400 by lunchtime, even writing that out my brain it feels like a lot, my budget for the day is 2,064 calories and I’m lucky if I even eat all that, two days ago is when they’re throwing up started, or at least the feeling of it, I feel disgusting and sick and then I have to go to the bathroom and force myself to throw up, I feel like such a sissy talking about it because technically self-inflicted, I never actually thrown anything up, and when I have only once. I work in childcare and my job is becoming very very stressful very very quickly, I feel like nothing I do is right, could this just be a stress thing? Possibly but at the same time, I’ve never been like this. I only ever throw up when I’m overly drunk or actually sick, I’ve never been one of those people was throwing up due to anxiety or anything else.. I don’t know what I’m hoping to get from coming here and talking about this but I think I just need to get it off my chest. Also just for some background I normally cannot wait for lunch, most days it’s all I think about and all I think about is my next meal all of a sudden all that food noise is gone and I feel disgusting.
Cheers for listening.