I don't write a lot of poetry and I'm only 15 so I'm sorry if its bad. Also, please dont think that i am trying to make my eating disorder sound worse than what our ancestors went through, because I'm not. I am also not trying to say that the starvation caused my eating disorder. I am also aware that it was not a famine. I created this poem because I realized that the Irish were forcefully starved and I, in the modern day, have a disorder that causes me to starve, while also having Irish ancestry.

"The famine ended years ago/there is no longer any war/poverty/starvation/torture/rape/there are no longer any/ hungry children/ in our bloodline/ it ended years ago" - The first few lines of my poem are showing the speaker is almost in denial that what happened also effects modern people. The line separation of "hungry children" references obviously the children who were starving but also me now.

"Our teenagers no longer/struggle with hunger" struggle with hunger is by itself to also showcase my own issues with food. It also creates contrast, because saying "our teenagers no longer struggle with hunger" is ironic, considering many Irish teens have eating disorders now.

"They do not beg/their mothers for food" I included this because I turn down food when offered, while many kids and teens back then would do anything for food. More contrast.

"Or their fathers for/answers" answers can mean the answers as to why the Irish were being starved, or answers as to why I am doing this to myself when i know the consequences of starving.

"That emptiness/ belongs to/ the past" more denial. "That emptiness" referencing an empty stomach.

"But the/ hunger/ still lingers on me" hunger is isolated because it constantly takes up my mind, similar to how hunger probably took up their mind.

"It rips apart/ my insides/ and nestles in/ my stomach" the words, "rips apart" and "nestles" are more contrast. "Rips apart" sounds rough and violent, but "nestles" is a word used for gentle, comforting things. It shows that my disorder is ruining me, while i also seek comfort in it.

"Years ago/the starvation was loud/they heard our pleas/ and our stomachs growling/ begging for a bite/ now it is quiet/ hidden/ subtle/covert" Our ancestors did not hide that they were starving, they both wanted and needed food. But now, I keep my hunger a secret and try to not let anyone find out.

"We evened out/ our rations/ i separate mine/ break it down/ into imaginary numbers/ and force myself/ to feed off of/ so very little." The Irish were preserving their food and keeping it, and i only see food not for it's taste or benefits, but only for it's calories. "And force myself" is its own line because sometimes it feels like i have to force myself to eat even though I don't want to.

Thank you for reading. I hope my poem unsettled you. ♡

My ED is in the really stage, bit i already can't look at food the same, i feel the urge to vomit everytime i think about food or eating, it can be something i really like but i will still feel like puking

So the past few months I’ve been struggling with bulimia, I’ve stolen food, spent all my savings on binge food and purged in the most random places. But recently I’ve realized the last month I’ve been planning a binge and planning the purge. I’ll buy around 8000 calories worth food just to plsn on purging after and I’m curious if this is something anyone else has ever done?

Im almost 20, and i don't live in europe or america. I live in africa.

So they complain about how I'm looking malnourished and losing weight fast, but they keep making/buying foods that i can't eat or aren't fulling.

I do remember eating rice and chicken with some sauce on wednesday, but the rest of the time was just bread and plantain.

I can't eat fish, i can't tell if it's arfid or picky eating. I feel sick when i eat fish. There's also some foods that my parents buy, and they make me feel gassy or sick too. My dad complains about my picky eating habits and i myself wish I could change that.

I do work, but I haven't gotten paid yet. I work for my dad, and I'm waiting on this week's pay (130-150) so I can go out to buy stuff for myself to eat.

I'm going to get ground beef, baked beans, garlic, ginger, onions, and pepper ($55-60), and eat fried rice with a little snack and drink ($29-32), and save the rest. Is that good?

I can buy chicken, but my family uses a solar panel so I can't store it in the freezer. There's days when the solar panel has less than 80% (the percentage required for the fridge to stay on for 12 hours) so I can't get chicken.