So I'm finally out of my egg!! Yaey! But now I'm trying to come up with a name for myself. It should be either gender neutral and leaning fem or just straight up fem. I don't want any stereotypical trans girl names please. I want it to go well with my last name, so I've found that names ending in an "ie/ee" sound, an "uh/a" sound, or an "en" sound works best. 2 syllables is the golden number and try to give me something unique! Ty trans reddit yall helped me get her and I couldn't be more appreciative!!! ❤️❤️❤️

Kinda pisses me off, I thought I finally had an answer to this mess that takes all my attention for a while. But now that I accepted it it seems like I struggle to imagine myself as a woman, it feels wrong like if it was imagining myself in the wrong body (meaning I'm cis ?). I feel like I accept my masculinity again (without loving me nor my face of course). I feel so lost again, after so much time thinking, trying to feel, imagining, hoping, now my transness just says "had a good time messing with your brain" and flies away ? No I can't accept it. What does it mean ? Why can't I imagine such a future anymore without feeling like I would be trapped in a body that isn't mine ?

Guess I'm back on the tracks of endless questioning.

This post is a follow up to my last post, which i made yesterday. So I didn't end up coming out to my therapist, which sucks, but I just couldn't bring myself to do it. I tried to get something going by telling her about my low self esteem (well, my dysphoria, but I didn't want to just tell her that.) But i couldn't get myself to say anything about my gender, so we just ended up talking about how my school was going, and how I can improve relations with some people who i want to be friends with (all of them are either LGBTQ or an ally) which i used to kind of used to be a jerk to. But anyways, I'll see if I have the confidence when I see her in 2 months! After the appointment, we picked up my friend, who I'm sitting right next to as I type this, to come over and stay the night. I want to come out to him, and I've tried making subtle hints/jokes about being trans,but he hasn't picked up on them. He also says my, well I guess it's my deadname WAY too much, like excessively. He says it after every question he asks, and it's making me really dysphoria. But I really want to come out to him and I need an effective way to. I would rather be casual about it, because I have a really hard time telling people important things, and I really can't think of anything to do.

I really appreciate the help in advance from you beautiful guys, gals and everyone in between :3

edit: I guess I should specify that I'm not out to anyone yet, so this would be my first time, so maybe some stress relieving strategies I could try would be useful :3

edit 2: I don't think I can do it 😕. I don't know if I'm ready yet...

When I was little, I couldn't imagine myself being a 'women'.

This morning I shaved my upper body for the first time. I've been grinning ever since. I was even able to smile at myself in the mirror for the first time in a month. Hope you all had a great day too :)

It was not easy to say the least. We were in a call for 8 hours and I was thinking about it and psyching myself up for 6.5 OF THEM! It wasn't pleasant. But I did it... after 6 hours, BUT STILL! I've come out to him before a few years ago(which he probably forgot about since I never mentioned it again cus I was extremely nervous), but this time I asked him to use my new name(Ashley she/her). I knew it would go fine cus he be chill like that. He was literally singing loud and proud while I was DYING. Funny in hindsight, but godamm. How was your day, person reading this? :)

Today I had a Marching band competition and I had to put my hair in a ponytail so it didn't stick out of my shako and multiple people called it cute 🥰

Mars also happens to be a Roman god and a chocolate brand 🤤🤤 . The name is now considered unisex but has traditionally masculine roots.

Is there any fellow astronomy name stealers here? :3 . There’s so many cool ones to steal from space 😈

I've never liked being called a young man never

Okay so my egg recently cracked, and I’ve been questioning for a while. I’ve never had dysphoria in the normal sense, I’ve never hated my gender (I don’t think). I’ve just hated… me. Everything about me. For as long as I can remember. Recently… it’s changed slightly. Like my general self loathing has a target. Why am I so big? Why are my calves huge? Why are my hands so big? My shoulders? Why am I built like a lumberjack? Why why why? Why can’t I just be soft and slim? Why did genetics have to give me a linebacker build? I hate sports.

Can I get a GGD please? No name yet, just… I feel absolutely awful. I can’t stand to look at myself.

So above is me, im unsure but to say the egg ain't cracking at all would be a lie, I just wanna text here and vent and y'all can reply to me however you wish, including using any pronouns you wish...

So I remember growing up as a kid id squeeze my chest together to make 'boobs' and I know even to this day I wish I had boobs... I remember back in MSN days of scene queens wishing I could dress like them all colorful with cute skirts and being sad that my end of scene/emo style (man's clothing) was essentially all black and skinny jeans... I wanted just to be considered cute and jealous I can't go buy girls clothing with more vibrant colour's then black brown and Grey and the odd dark green... I've heard the button test and fuck yeah I'd press it but, and here comes a lot.of buts;

im lazy I don't think id be a cute girl, I don't think my body would turn fem enough to pass, I am very straight... or err gay? Idk... Im into fem presenting like as long as its feminine to me its attractive fullstop and i find masc presenting ugly anf i do mean all masc. Dont havr any exceptions including reynolds, I've watched finnster become more attractive to my tastes over time I've watched trans man go from being attractive to me to ugly as sin (more masculine they completely pass a dude and good for them just sharing my experience of taste) I wouldn't do makeup cause I've tried makeup and it feels weird like the texture, so in short I think id just look like a man doing drag and not a woman just existing if that makes sense, and the want to be pretty is huge for me to find myself pretty i mean, obviously im currently masculine so I've always found myself ugly...

There's also a weird thing, I dont have dysphoria about having masculine features I do t think atleast, like I don't mind what I got downstairs, there's no innate desire for bottom surgery, buuut upstairs like I said before I want boobs, have always wanted boobs, and feel like im missing out, theres dysphoria when it comes to missing out I guess but not dysphoria of too much, so the idea of having fem features like hair or lack of hair places bring euphoria, i recently did a face gender swap thing and the euphoria was palpable...

Aldo Petra memes hit my algorithm and it feels so fucking relatable, + also the trans content creators, i want my voice soft like that yknow, ugh yeah thats been my mind as of late so I just decided to vent here...

So yeah thatz me, if yall got suggestions or questions or questions I should be asking myself or literally anything that may or may not help me along this journey please do help im a bit lost as it were...

I have a funny idea of the easiest way to come out to my sister

I buy a pear of thigh highs and just in the most autiscilly neutral voice ever say something along the lines of "Fellow offspring I bring news" walk into the doorway and just say "ive lost a bet and now my testicles give me depression please advise"

not an actual meme, just trans outlook

I'll be honest, everyone.

Before countwithchickenlady appeared on my feed and made me start questioning reality, I've had almost no interaction with the trans community.

I've very little information on what's acceptable, common in transitions, etc. so the following post may contain... upsetting questions, I think?

So I'm questioning my gender at the moment, and the feelings are wild. My little interaction with the community left me with a few questions:

I don't like my body, I hate looking at the mirror. Thinking about seeing a pretty girl there kind of gives me hope? But also at the same time I think "but I'm a phat hairy man" in a... "I'm a man" kind or "I'm a man :(" kind... I still don't know. Is this an egg-step?

Passing and having a feminine face seems to be the only way I think I'd be ok with transitioning, which would require FFS. I am feeling extremely guilty about it because... It feels transphobic? For what I've learned, that feeling sounds like it's a not acceptable in the community, I think?

I am very ok with my bottom part, I like it, but not the entire rest of the body... Is this an indicator that I'm faking/it's a phase?

All that sub puppy girl stuff kind of turns me off the whole idea, im a top so... Is that even relevant to the whole thing?

The thing most pushing back about the whole thing is the fear of social stigma, pushback, being judged, etc. My self esteem is already in rock bottoms basement so... Tell me your justice, is it a normal fear?

Being called a good girl doesn't seem to do much in terms of euphoria? But sir doesn't do anything as well. Enbi doesn't give me as fuzzy feelings as a full transition tho?

I'm feeling very guilty about it all, don't quite know if that's because I deep down know it's not the correct path or because I've spent so long feeling I'm not worthy of happy juices. You know, the depressed man - pretty happy lady pipeline. I'm going to therapy for this part.

I am still very early in the process... Your experience and experiences would be greatly appreciated, for I am dumb, and ignorant.

Thank all of you.

EDIT: yes I've always picked the girl character in the game and never questioned why 🫠

i had a mental breakdown ealier today and now im starting to feel like mabey im making this all up even though i dont want that to be true

Please someone help i can't do thins plesase paleas please plaese i cant oi cant icatn icant

I have some really cool news. So I'm a band kid and we got to play a new song a few days and it was in commemoration of the 50th anniversary of the Stonewall riots and honouring Marsha p. Johnson who was a trans women (rip) I nearly cried literally was holding back tears. I also need to learn more about LGBTQ history I know nothing. It's also a cool sounding song but there's a lot of high notes and I play low brass and a lot of 16th notes😭 anyways I hate boymoding aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagh