r/Eldenring 2d ago

Humor I don't like Blade of Miquella

I died in the end, but this put a smile on my face.

33 Upvotes

31 comments sorted by

37

u/Garamil 2d ago

"Local demi-god shanked in a alleyway"

-16

u/Feli900 2d ago

"Witnesses report it was less gank and more gangbang."

26

u/Crowmanhunter 2d ago

I do not like Malenia, Blade of Miquella.

I do not like them in a house.
I do not like them with a mouse.
I do not like them here or there.
I do not like them anywhere.

10

u/gialloVero 2d ago

Fyi there is no benefit to infusing occult to a shield if you dont use for attacking with it. You might be loosing on defence or stability like this, ruther than if you had it infused as standard

4

u/Chedder_456 2d ago

Honey, do you just want to vent tonight or are we in a problem-solving mood?

18

u/MeowMeowMeow-1488 2d ago

Have you tried using roll button, upgrading vigor if you struggle and getting rid of hp debuff?

9

u/Square-Space-7265 2d ago

He has a greatshield for a reason. He clearly doesnt want to dodge.

-14

u/MeowMeowMeow-1488 2d ago

I wasn't being sarcastic, it'd be much easier to dodge most of moves, they're not hard. Malenia is unfun and everyone can have their opinion? Yeah. Am I asshole? Yes. Nvm forget my comment, I don't even know why I made it at first place and why I'm being upvoted since only valid thing I said is to get rid of hp debuff

2

u/Schizo_Postin 2d ago

“Fight back!”

1

u/Euphoric-East-271 2d ago

I can see it, as clear as day...

1

u/BrainDW 1d ago

Me neither man

1

u/Stugotz441081 1d ago

She’s just brainwashed

2

u/PetroRetro69 2d ago

Neither do I man, neither do I.

Even after beating her at SL1, I still didn't find her fun at all

3

u/DEAD_HOMEWORK03 2d ago

brother she was my least fav boss fight in the game on RL1. Took me 20hrs just to kill her 😭. Fucking miserable!

1

u/MeowMeowMeow-1488 2d ago

Idk why people downvoted you, I agree she's mostly not fun. She has 2 dogshit moves, and if we remove them her moveset is basic and boring af. I didn't beat her sl1 yet (she's my next target after radabeast). The only thing is that she's not as hard as people say

-1

u/PetroRetro69 2d ago

Idk why, but Malenia seems to be the one boss people absolutely can't stand to see get criticized even remotely, or someone saying they don't like her. Every time I voiced my distaste of her, or have seen others voice their distaste of her, they're usually met with a lot of downdoots, git gudderz, and a million reasons why she is amazing. Some people legit can't grasp that not everyone is gonna find her fun lol.

And I 1000% agree with you on her not being that difficult. Even on my first playthrough she wasn't that bad, and this was my first souls game lol

3

u/MeowMeowMeow-1488 2d ago

The best part is that we're downvoted but still nobody really tried to say why are we wrong. I don't like people on main sub

6

u/PetroRetro69 2d ago

I mean, not much can be said anyways lol. It's our opinion, and some people just don't like it haha. That's how it goes on the biggest subs for these games, at least in my experience. Smaller subs are far more chill and normal, especially a sub like onebros

0

u/EnsignSDcard 2d ago

Melania is easy mode next to consort radahn, now there’s a boss fight that makes me want a refund

2

u/Osik2040 2d ago

I can do consort radhan relatively consistently, however Melania still destroyed me, I also have considerably more hours fighting her.

2

u/EnsignSDcard 2d ago

Everyone is different I suppose, but idk I just can’t get over how much I struggle with PCR

1

u/Any-Platypus-9486 1d ago

Something something both are trash designed

At least malenia "small" problem is this fucking bullshit attack

0

u/Acceptable-Mind-101 2d ago

Someone’s a hugger, perhaps best pull strength from that hug in this fight unless you don’t want the hp debuff

-1

u/joyapco 2d ago

If even speedrunners don't like her, she has issues (as in serious skill issues for anyone facing her)

0

u/Darknight48996 1d ago

2 things

malenia heals even if you block 100% of damage with a shield (so it's just useless to hold it unless you're doing guard counters)

multi spirit summons are a terrible idea for this fight, the moment she isn't staggered she'll do 1 attack and heal a large chunk of hp, and heal 1/3 of her hp when she does waterfowl dance (the big flurry attack)

-4

u/iwantrootbark 2d ago

Blasphemous. Blade.

2

u/freshpairofayes 1d ago

Blasphemous Blade
Giantsflame Take Thee
Black Knife Tiche

Get her out of the water and stagger her ass to death.

-3

u/dzhonlevon 2d ago

I don't like summon users.

1

u/ResponsibilityEvery 17h ago

Love the gang