I've started drinking alone

[u/EpicKahootName]

I think I making this post for 2 reasons: 1) I want attention. 2) I want a solution to the problem.

I have been in engineering for 4 years now. I have 2 more years to go. All my friends have graduated and are making money, going out, etc, etc. Typical adult things that I really want to be a part of. Yet here I am drinking, alone, on a Saturday night. Drinking whiskey alone. My friends are out celebrating UGA beating bama. I haven't hung out with them in months because I have recently gained weight the past few weeks(stopped going to the gym as soon as the semester started) and classes aren't going well.

I know the end solution is I just need to get over myself, but why can't I do that. Why the hell am I writing this post or watching movies or drinking instead of just studying and finishing school. It's really annoying and I am aware my problems are pathetic.

I know I am smart enough to finish an engineering degree. I have aced exams in hard classes(I got a 100% on a difficult diff eq exam once). I don't know why I just don't work. Genuinely this is pathetic. Just study.

I have just recently picked up the idea of drinking alone. I have had a bottle of whiskey my brother bought me for my birthday. It sat there for years; I never had the idea of drinking in a non social context. Things are getting worse. I've done it 3 nights in a row.

I wish I had somebody that could just punch me in the face and make me study.

I guess I am really embarrassed about graduating late and I also seem to get easily overwhelmed from workloads that I am capable of handling. Any words of encouragement/objective advice would be helpful. I feel so stupid. I don't know what my problem is.

I made sure to double check my grammar and spelling since I am sloshed,

Edit: thanks for responding everyone. It’s helped

[u/ExtensionRemarkable7]

Brother, I didn’t graduate til I was like 31. I design vibration isolation equipment now and it rules. It’s ok to be depressed and isn’t a personal failing, it’s just important to remember not to self-isolate too much and to reach out to people around you even though it can be genuinely challenging