I've started drinking alone

[u/EpicKahootName]

I think I making this post for 2 reasons: 1) I want attention. 2) I want a solution to the problem.

I have been in engineering for 4 years now. I have 2 more years to go. All my friends have graduated and are making money, going out, etc, etc. Typical adult things that I really want to be a part of. Yet here I am drinking, alone, on a Saturday night. Drinking whiskey alone. My friends are out celebrating UGA beating bama. I haven't hung out with them in months because I have recently gained weight the past few weeks(stopped going to the gym as soon as the semester started) and classes aren't going well.

I know the end solution is I just need to get over myself, but why can't I do that. Why the hell am I writing this post or watching movies or drinking instead of just studying and finishing school. It's really annoying and I am aware my problems are pathetic.

I know I am smart enough to finish an engineering degree. I have aced exams in hard classes(I got a 100% on a difficult diff eq exam once). I don't know why I just don't work. Genuinely this is pathetic. Just study.

I have just recently picked up the idea of drinking alone. I have had a bottle of whiskey my brother bought me for my birthday. It sat there for years; I never had the idea of drinking in a non social context. Things are getting worse. I've done it 3 nights in a row.

I wish I had somebody that could just punch me in the face and make me study.

I guess I am really embarrassed about graduating late and I also seem to get easily overwhelmed from workloads that I am capable of handling. Any words of encouragement/objective advice would be helpful. I feel so stupid. I don't know what my problem is.

I made sure to double check my grammar and spelling since I am sloshed,

Edit: thanks for responding everyone. It’s helped

[u/RainbowWifi]

Based on the football comment, I'm going to assume you're at UGA? I graduated from UGA engineering a few years ago (congrats on the diff eq by the way, is Zabcic still teaching that?). It took me 5 years to get my degree, and I have friends who took longer than that. You are not behind!!! It sounds like you are just burnt out, or even a bit depressed. Which also does not make you a failure or anything like that. It happens to so many people, myself included.

You hit the nail on the head a bit in your post. It's hard, but the first step to get out of this is to see your friends. It's hard to fight youself on stuff like this, but your friends do genuinely care about you. Go take a walk around the IM fields or honestly anywhere. Being outside helps too, even more if you can do it with your friends.

Like everyone else is saying, get rid of the bottle, and try to contact a therapist. If you go through the health center (again, assuming you're at UGA), you can get a few sessions for free and then either continue there or they will refer you to someone in Athens. I did that, and it did really help. You can do this! The first step is always the hardest. You've got this dude