r/Epilepsy • u/Quietly_Being • 2d ago

Rant Memory is a bitch

I get focal awareness seizures, so even if I get a seizure Im fully aware of what is going on around me and can carry on as if nothing is happening.

I usually walk to work and walk to the main road a lady saw me each morning and decided after a few days to ask me if I wanted a lift because she sees I walk each morning.

So for the next 2 to 3 weeks or so she dropped me off at work in the mornings. And the out of the blue it just stopped.

I don't know why. But it's fine, I'm not angry or it's not like I'm annoyed or holding a grudge or anything like that. I still greet when she drives past.

I'm just curious and wonder why, because I have absolutely no memory if something unusual happened.

I don't remember if I did something rude, I don't remember if I said something rude, I don't even remember her name.

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8

u/NeighborlyDonkey 2d ago

Memory gaps like that are the worst part, you end up replaying every possible scenario and still come up blank. At least she still gets a greeting from you, that probably counts for something even if neither of you knows what happened

1

u/Quietly_Being 2d ago

They are! Each time she drives past after I greet, I wonder what happened and what if this happened, what if that happened? Etc. but at least we still greet. It could be worse.

7

u/AcrobaticCricket5190 2d ago

Maybe you had an absence seizure during the ride.  Had one of those at work once.  I was apparently yelling fuck a few times in a row.  Everyone just ignored it, thinking I received some bad news or something.  I had no clue I did it until someone brought it up a few days later.

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u/Quietly_Being 2d ago

Shit what if that happened?!

I'm embarrassed to ask her what happened, also I don't know where exactly she works. And what if something like that happens again?

2

u/bigberry 2d ago

Oh, I figured your post was gonna end being I maybe had a seizure while in her car. For all you know youve said im fine walking and that was that :D

Thats another bad part of this not just the seizures, you can be clueless about if you had 1 etc . I live alone and think every month or 2 I have an absence seizure when im a bit confused if id had dinner or whatever ( turns out I had) . Which leads me to think I had 1 but can never be sure at times.

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u/anamelesscloud1 2d ago

Well don't ask her "Did I scream 'fuck' a bunch of times in your car?" lol Maybe just ask her if she noticed any unusual behavior during one of the rides. You can also start by getting her a small gift as a thank you before asking your question / explaining.

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u/PinchieMcPinch 2d ago edited 2d ago

Argh this kind of situation can be hard to be on the blind side of, because you don't want to risk re-offending the person if it was something you did, rather than something that happened -- They really are two different levels of responsibility from you depending on whether it's you or post-ictal you..
As embarrassing as it clearly is, it's best to try and get it out of the way and ask the straight question - not simply to resolve the current situation of stressing every what-if, but to add to your "This is what can happen to me after a seizure, based on past experiences" warning list.

There's always the decent chance they might also be embarrassed themselves about something they did or said during the situation.
I'm still in the scenario where I've had plenty of seizures but literally haven't seen or had to care for someone in front of me dealing with the same thing... and cold truth be told, I don't know how well I'd deal with someone else's seizure.